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You see it all the time nowadays: content that makes you SO angry. Misogynistic comments under innocent videos, news of another rape/assault/femicide, a post on r/breakingmom, r/deadbedroom, r/relationshipadvice or pretty much any subreddit you can find (because pickmes and scrotes flock to Reddit like moths to a flame).
If you're in any way like me, who gets easily worked up any time I come across anything I perceive as injustice or unkindness, these kinds of things might ruin your whole day (or week). But what are we supposed to do?
The same way we're encouraged to deal with scrotes on dating apps. Don't engage, don't keep scrolling, ignore, block and delete (if that's possible on the platform you're on).
This afternoon I spend 10 minutes reading and scrolling through a comment section of a YouTube video with scrotes debating 'the Wall' and infertility and a bunch of other things scrotes like to believe in. I was very, very close to responding (not that I would keep my comment up, I always delete comments after like five minutes because I get pretty bad anxiety) but ended up clicking off and watching something else. Not that those scrotes would listen anyway. I could list a bunch of studies about the quality of male sperm decreasing after 30 and that they should really take a good look at Leonardo DiCaprio but they'd probably spout more bullshit (or just spam 'COPE' because most of these guys share a singular brain cell).
It's been an hour and I'm STILL angry. And I fucking hate it because there's nothing I can do or I can say that can make men like them change.
Anger can be a very useful and productive emotion and I'm not saying that you should never be angry (because God knows women are never allowed to be angry) but when there's nothing we can do about a situation it will just linger under the surface with no real way to process it. Sure, it's important to be aware of what is happening in the world to an extent but it's also important to set boundaries.
I don't read certain posts on here because I know it won't do me any good. It'll just rile me up and ruin my day.
Don't argue with scrotes in the comment section of a YouTube video, don't keep reading articles about that murder, and don't doom scroll incel forums.
Stop making yourself angry.
Protect your mental health.
Don't engage.
I think we must be very careful about what we consume online. I've started to drastically reduce my time on social media (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit). These platforms profit from our fears, insecurities, and polarization. They are shaping how we see reality and ourselves. They are affecting our attention spans, our quality of life, and our relationships with other people. When I do use social media, I try to curate as much as I can. I look at content related to goddess spirituality, tarot, depth psychology, and a bit of crafting. I rarely go through my feeds. I only look at stories of select people. I literally spend less than 10 minutes a day on it. I have no personal social media at all. Reducing my time on these sites has had only a positive effect. No more outrage or political crap. No more comparing myself to others and feeling like a failure. No more wasting time. I have new hobbies now. I read more books. I work on projects. I write. I meditate. I collage and color. I listen to podcasts. I feel connected to life. If you spend 2 hours a day on social media, over the course of a year that adds up to an entire month of your life. What else could you be doing with your time? You won't change anyone's mind about anything. Participating in forums like this is different because this is truly a space where women help each other. I put my time into better things now. I could no longer live in the anger and outrage and negativity that social media creates.
I like to apply a slightly altered version of "delete and block" in the content I consume. I like to ask myself "Is this the best use of my time right now?" Usually there's something else that I should be doing. Or something else that would make me feel good. Or something that would help me grow. Or even simply going out for a walk to get the endorphins and smile on my face instead.
There's so much content nowadays and we have to be just as selective as we are with men.
Great advice. You know the saying, "you are what you eat"? Well, I think we also are what we consume via various media platforms, and if you're constantly consuming junk and outrage....well...you're going to feel like shit.
I only follow 25 people on instagram that actually bring something to my life, like this one account posts new words everyday. I actually deleted instagram and twitter apps off my phone so that means i have to go onto the browser to use them and sometimes that makes me feel like not doing it cause its kinda more annoying using it on the browser. Stopped using reddit and deleted my comments and account, I am also very careful about what films and tv shows i watch. And its defiantly changed my life, I'm less anxious, ive stopped comparing myself to others, i dont waste time.
On the one hand if you let yourself get worked up over weird incel shit nobody who matters irl cares about you risk becoming one of those people who's very obviously terminally online. On the other hand, I think anger can sometimes be transformative (anger was the only emotion that brought me out of my pick-me ways and allowed me to see the truth in FDS principles).
I agree, sometimes its good to reflect on our own behavior and improve ourselves to be the best version of us! I used to read PUA/redpill/MGTOW forums all the time. All the content was outrageous, and at first I thought to myself, "it's good to read this content, to know the enemy." However, after reading so much content I began to internalize everything I was reading (how can you not after reading and watching that crap for hours??) and scarily enough began to demean myself, just absorbing whatever they were saying and regressed backwards. Some of the content also is designed to rile you up and you get trapped in a cycle where you get addicted to getting angry, and that is NEVER healthy. I journaled last night and it all came back to why did I feel a need to constantly watch that content? I thought I could handle just reading blatant misogyny daily, but I can't, everyone has their breaking point! There's the saying that you become who you surround yourself with the most, and that shit was not helping me with my journey at all. It makes you incredibly jaded and wary and on edge of any guy's intentions, and I just cannot live in this state of mind anymore, I need peace.
This might be unrelated, but it's a major red flag when men try to stop me from disengaging in an argument. My dad is kinda scrotey, and nothing makes him madder than someone refusing to engage with his BS and exhaust themselves explaining things he should already know. It can take hours to logically deconstruct a stupid argument that someone made up in 2 seconds. It's not worth the time! Just walk away!
I deleted my Reddit account few days ago for this reason.