Recent reasons for ending toxic relationships - thanks to FDS for the courage boost!! 1. Pickmeisha who frequently put the needs of our friendship on the back-burner to appease abusive men2. Only called and pretended to be interested in me when they had an upcoming need for a house-pet-sitter. 3. Antisemitism 4. Behaving like a bully - to others, their children and me. 5. Not showing up when my Dad diedThere’s more, but I’ll leave it at that. My entire life I was taught that I was always “too much” “too needy” “too critical” The truth was that I intuitively knew that these people were toxic, and my “supporters” wanted to sweep it all under the carpet, bc looking at it meant they needed to change. I leveled up and stopped trying to get my supporters to do what is right, to alleviate my pain. I have full agency over my choices and that agency should be celebrated and honored by me first and foremost. My greatest fear was being “friendless” and looking like the common denominator- “if dee is eliminating most of her friends, it must be her.” Once I accepted that being the common denominator was a result of being attracted to narcs, not a result of being “too (negative label),” I was able to work (with a therapist who specializes in narc behavior) on listening to my intuition when it told me to run from a friendship and listen to my intuition when it told me to stay in a friendship. I have less than a handful of solid women friends. But, eliminating toxicity open my heart to real genuine platonic love. Those fears that were forced upon me are gone, along with the abusers.
.png)
Recent reasons for ending toxic relationships - thanks to FDS for the courage boost!! 1. Pickmeisha who frequently put the needs of our friendship on the back-burner to appease abusive men 2. Only called and pretended to be interested in me when they had an upcoming need for a house-pet-sitter. 3. Antisemitism 4. Behaving like a bully - to others, their children and me. 5. Not showing up when my Dad died There’s more, but I’ll leave it at that. My entire life I was taught that I was always “too much” “too needy” “too critical” The truth was that I intuitively knew that these people were toxic, and my “supporters” wanted to sweep it all under the carpet, bc looking at it meant they needed to change. I leveled up and stopped trying to get my supporters to do what is right, to alleviate my pain. I have full agency over my choices and that agency should be celebrated and honored by me first and foremost. My greatest fear was being “friendless” and looking like the common denominator- “if dee is eliminating most of her friends, it must be her.” Once I accepted that being the common denominator was a result of being attracted to narcs, not a result of being “too (negative label),” I was able to work (with a therapist who specializes in narc behavior) on listening to my intuition when it told me to run from a friendship and listen to my intuition when it told me to stay in a friendship. I have less than a handful of solid women friends. But, eliminating toxicity open my heart to real genuine platonic love. Those fears that were forced upon me are gone, along with the abusers.