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Hello ladies! I have an ongoing custody case with my abusive (ex) husband with our almost 1 year old son and I am due to give birth in two weeks (scheduled c-section). I have an active OOP in place against him and he cannot contact mr outside specific guidelines (app) but we have 50/50 orders regarding our son.
We had a conference yesterday (my attorney, the best interest attorney for my son, my ex husband's attorney) before the judge. I called in but apparently my ex was present via video next to his attorney but I didn't want to see his face. The BIA and opposing council agreed communication was going great (standard set by me hmmmm) and that trial was not appropriate for this case. My attorney said we will try and work with dad so he can visit his newborn but not sure how and what that looks like right now especially post partum and with an OOP in place for domestic violence. The judge agreed, the attorneys agreed, and another conference (that everyone agreed to) is set for 90 days. No orders given. Everything was left "positive" with the idea we would all work together.
1 hour and 20 minutes after the conference I received and unhinged message from my ex. He attacked my mental health, my choice to breast feed, demanded daily visits in hospital and up to one month and then after that, 50/50. Said he was "willing" to be flexible but that we needed a schedule and to stick with it. Using my personal items and cats at his house over my head.
I can't say I am surprised and I am assuming nobody advised him to send that email. His lawyer didn't even question the judge or ask for orders to be given prior to 90 days. Our conference is set and if tries to file something it would be thrown out or he would look... crazy.
It is disappointing to receive a message like that but if I expect anything else I need to go back to the drawing board. My DV advocate said he is trying to gaslight and abuse me and make it seem like what happened in court... didn't really happen.
I am kind of happy he sent that message. I didn't respond but it goes to show if he doesn't get his way 100% of the time or anything is in my favor then he acts hostile.
Co-parenting with a narcissist is exhausting. You cannot block and delete and even when things are going "good" you are constantly on edge.
I am happy to have this forum and space.
@NotTheOne suggested a family court category and I honestly agree. So many of us are fighting tooth and nail against our abusers.... even two weeks before birth.
I'm so happy your court date went well, but sorry to hear you're still being abused. Stay strong and keep documenting. Remember our best defense against narcs is to not engage. They can't stand not being the center of attention, especially when we've been their source for so long. You're doing a great job! Keep protecting your kids and yourself from that awful man.
You handled the corrupt family court system very deftly at that hearing, sis! That was not a easy feat. 🙌🏆 You are succeeding at not getting baited and overwhelmed by this abuse through the legal system. Well done! Keep going, Queen! 👑
I'm so sorry you are going through that. Wishing you a healthy and safe delivery and baby <3 I'm glad you have support/advocacy and I hope you are able to keep yourself safe. Look after you. I don't have any practical advice for you but I am sending you good wishes and positive vibes. This is why it's so important to vet. So hard once you have kids together. Any way you can get full custody?
Make sure to save all of the hostile messages he sends you (in a separate folder named “scrote” or something, so you don’t have to see them. They may be able to be shown to the judge to prove how unhinged he is. It sounds like you legal team is aware of them, and knows what to do. So that’s good.
you are supported. keep moving forward, take care of yourself! 👑
Thank you for the update. Hang in there ❤