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So I realized that I have this thing where, whenever a guy rejects me i always want to prove to him that i am more. This isnt even in a romantic sense, just generally. I dont even want anything from these dudes either, i just have this obsessive need to show them i was right and they were wrong. I dont have this with women at all, which makes me even more confused.
This rejection can be them for example totally ignoring me in a group for absolutely no reason, even though we were completely normal the day before. Sometimes they go back to normal but i am not over it. Other times they keep this up (honestly i believe those kinda people have issues).
I am sure (or rather i hope) that this isnt a thing that just I struggle with. I read about similar topics but it isnt quite this, so i was curious to see if anybody had the same experience. I tried to figure this out from different angles but i still feel clueless so maybe someone elses approach can be a type of guidance.
Thanks in advance!
Edit: I wanted to sort of update this after some retrospection. This very much fell into the "male gaze" kind of mentality I started to adapt over the years of basically just existing as a woman lol. I think it totally clashed with the idea I had in my mind of how I am supposed to be seen, and not being seen at all wasnt really part of the picture. I am certain my dad has something to do with it aswell haha. But generally I have been working towards letting go of this mentality every day by stopping the thoughts before they can manifest and I truly can say I feel so much more at peace. I feel like childhood me again where all I cared about was actually understanding and experiencing the world around me rather than pondering about how I might be perceived while doing it. Thank you to anyone who commented on this post!
It’s that parent you’re still trying to get to love you, coming back in all shapes and forms… There’s a good podcast about this sort of need, called Deeper Dating - listen to the first 4-5 episodes and you’ll be able to figure out.
I get this. But it comes from an ego mindset. It can trigger us into not feeling enough so we have to prove otherwise. It’s not healthy as we can spend unwarranted, exhausting amounts of our time trying to prove ourselves to people that do not see our worth. Meaning they don’t matter anyway. An subconsciously they know what your doing anyway. As the saying goes, just because someone doesn’t see our worth, it doesn’t mean we have no value’ I feel you have to get to an indifferent state of mind and it makes such a difference :) There’s a Taylor Swift song ‘I forgot that you existed’ - great song that reminds me of how to overcome wasting your time and energy and getting to an indifferent place. Hope this helps.
The best revenge a apathy and a life well lived
I have this regardless of gender 😅 I feel more intensely this approval-seeking urge around other women to show them I have good values and am friendship worthy.