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Hey, so I’ve been exhausted. I’ve had some physical pain and feel like I’ve had a cold for maybe ⅓ of this year. I’m about to take a leave of absence from work for one month (no idea if I’m going to go back, trying to not think about it). I realize that what I want most is to feel like myself again. I’d go to therapy but honestly I can’t handle if they have an agenda. It’s like I want to take ownership of my life.
Some things I’m doing - making a hair appt, scheduling yoga and workout classes, going to try to connect with friends (all things that I have completely stopped doing the last 6 months). And hopefully take a trip if I can find something easy enough.
I live with my parents btw and I’m in my 20s. I have a long commute to work, and even though my work can be done 100% at home, my company wants people in the office 100% of the time. I do want to move, but I just hate the pressure I’m feeling to move. Especially when I’m so drained feeling.
If anyone has any ideas on how to feel like myself and gain clarity on my future, I am open to hearing it.
hey sis, i'm sorry for what you're going through. i've felt that way before and it sucks... but i feel much better now and i think i have some tips for you!
you sound depressed. stress is correlated to depression and it seems like your job puts you through a lot of stress. on top of that, you mentioned feeling like you've had a cold for a long time. I'm not sure if you mean figuratively or as in a real cold, but it could be something related to your immunity. about feeling yourself again... that's more complex i think, but also more interesting and a real journey. these are the main points i noticed. so here are my tips:
#1 - check your vitamins and such. vitamin D deficiency might be related to feelings of sadness, possibily depression. iron deficiency makes you feel weak, like you have no energy to do stuff. both vitD and iron deficiency are also related to hair loss. these are just examples. you might have other things going on in your body, so it's important to keep tabs on that. sometimes we think the environment and "mindset" are the problem when really it's just nutrition.
#2 - look for a different job. if you are unhappy in your current job and you know what you want (i'm assuming you either want to work from home or work somewhere closer), go get it! and i know this might not be the best moment since you seem demotivated and exhausted, but remember you can take that disatisfaction and turn it into fuel to boost your career. when we are sick and tired of a situation, we get so angry that it moves us forward. that has happened to me. i used to be sad and feel like a loser regarding my career. until one day i got so angry about it that i took risks (kinda like 'fuck it, what do i have to loose?') and actually changed my situation for the better.
#3 - focus on self-knowledge to rediscover youself. that is the journey i referred to previously. in a way, you're already doing that by doing things you stopped doing a few months ago. but why stop there? you can try new things, find new hobbies, learn more about yourself, reflect upon who you are and who you can become. the job hunt is a way to do this because we need to "sell" our skills and how great we are in order to find a job. i learned a lot about myself that way. think about your goals, ask yourself why you want to move and why you feel pressured to do so. think of yourself as another person who you are trying to befriend and get closer to. we think we know who we are better than anyone else, but we don't. we are the most fascinating mistery of our lives!
i know i talked about nutrition regarding your physical health, but i'm also getting the vibe that your body is telling you that your current situation is bad for you and you need a change. listen to it. it's part of the self-knowledge journey as well.
these are my advice. i hope i've helped!