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I'm wondering if it's actually possible for a woman to be a "gold digger" or "use" a man in some way (sexually, emotionally, financially, etc.). One of my former friends said she was "using" a man to get him to buy stuff for her and didn't actually have feelings for him. But the man was so much older than her and she met him online. I thought that was so dangerous. Meeting an older man online is so risky because you could be raped, murdered, etc. So to me what she's doing isn't really using him, she's putting herself at risk and what she's doing is probably benefitting him a lot more because he gets to have her company and she is a cool, intelligent person.
I also don't think it's possible for women to sexually use men. We have so many risks, like unwanted pregnancies. And also, men only care about their own pleasure during sex. This is why so many women find hookups disappointing and don't orgasm during them.
And emotionally, I think women just cut off a man if they don't like him. They don't really seem to keep them around for ego boosts the way men will do with pickmes who they aren't attracted to.
After being heartbroken, betrayed and used so many times I feel like I don't want a bf and I wish I could just use men. I fantasize about just leading them on and breaking their hearts to get an ego boost. But I can't do this without fear of getting murdered because what if they tried to retaliate? I tried using a guy I met online for sexting but when I got bored of him and blocked him, he found out personal info about me somehow and he made alt accounts to try to get around me blocking him so I got scared that he would stalk me.
I don't want to be financially dependent on a man, but I wish I could just use them for money, gifts, attention, compliments, validation etc. without having to do anything for them. But it's so much easier for men to use women. If you actually know how to exploit men, lmk cause I would be interested in trying it.
FDS isn't the forum for that kind of stuff. You might be happier at r/diabla (subreddit that aims at “using men” among other things). Fwiw, I think HVW have better things to do. We can make our own money these days.
I don't think so. One of men's most popular version of women using men in their mind is her doing sexual favors for him and getting money off it. Because the men themselves don't think sexual activity is a big deal. They don't have the same worries we do for their own bodily safety.
When men say things like "I wish I could be a prostitue and just get money for sex" I always remember-they are seeing it from their perspective. Sex is practically guaranteed to be enjoyable for them and not degrading like it is for us.
When prostitues say it's "empowering" to be a prostitute, you have to remember that they are the ones on their knees sucking a dick. Not the person with the money to pay for someone to suck it.
It's a dangerous game to even attempt to exploit a man. Very few men freely give anything at all without expecting compensation of some sort. I'd advise against it. You said yourself that when you tried to use a man for sexting he tried to get revenge. Imagine if you had also sought compensation for the sexting. He'd probably be even more hell-bent on revenge for not getting what he wanted out of you.
Not really. Even when men give us money or emotional support, we've probably given them more emotional support or eye candy. People want you to think you're capable of using men. It's called controlled opposition, so we have the idea that we have some kind of power over patriarchy that we don't actually have. That's actually why the entire gold digger narrative gets pushed, both overtly and subconciously. Gold diggers aren't a thing. Men paying for the company of a younger woman without sex is still a transaction that benefits him, since having a woman near you makes you look safer and like a more valid citizen.
No, we cannot. The power imbalance is too great and also they don't care about anything as deeply as we do, so they have kind of a built-in mental armor (I hate to even put it like that because it makes it sound admirable or something...no, they're psychopaths, basically.)
The best revenge is to remove your attention from them, ignore them, outperform them, outearn them...those are the things that really cut them down to size.
I think it's possible for a woman to use a man, but the actual cases are so much more rare. Like imagine a woman that acts like LVM while the man is genuinely good and tries his best. However, they are insanely rare compared to when it's the actual LVMs taking advantage of women.
I think it’s rare. Unless you can find a man that you don’t have to have sex with or be seen with, who pays for everything, then that relationship will still be transactional.
"I feel like I don't want a bf and I wish I could just use men. I fantasize about just leading them on and breaking their hearts to get an ego boost. But I can't do this without fear of getting murdered because what if they tried to retaliate?"
I feel this and said this same exact thing in my journal the other day! You're in my head, lol! I am killing off my pickme so I still THINK that men give me ego boosts but after FDS opening my eyes I see that it's pretty pointless considering what they give their attention to. I also want to know how I can't"use" men but they would have to be "of use", first!
The last one "spoiled" me with money, time, attention and great oral sex (I still didn't orgasm, tho) but it turned out that he was married for 25 years and that money was his wife's so what was he really useful for? Maybe some writing material and a very hard lesson learned.
Okaaaay. But why?
There's 8 billion people on this planet. Is it possible some people are malicious? Yes.
Have you considered why you want this? Because if your driving motivation in this world is to hurt others ... you're not okay.