I am 22 and a virgin and I really don't like how having a romantic relationship kind of means you have to have sex with someone. Some people wait longer than others, such as waiting until engagement or marriage, but they do it eventually. But what if I just want emotional support, words of affirmation, frequent communication, gifts, dates, romantic exclusivity, sonnets written about me, etc. but I don't want to have sex? I don't think I'm asexual because I still have sexual fantasies I just don't see the point in acting on them. They are only hot in fantasy. Like someone might fantasize about destroying their enemies but they don't want to do it in real life because they are morally opposed to killing and doing it in real life would be messy and kinda gross. Also, I don't like seeing m*n naked, I don't like d*cks, I don't want to make them cum, I get grossed out by the idea of penetration and I've never had any interest in having children. But I like the idea of being simped over by someone who buys me gifts and thinks I'm the most perfect and beautiful person they've ever seen and would die for me. Maybe there are some women who would be curious about if a guy is good in bed or not, but I kind of just assume they're going to be bad since most of them are from what I've heard and I'm not willing to take the risk to see if they might be an exception.
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I kind of understand what you mean, I'm attracted to men and can find them sexy, but I'm not interested in being sexual with them. I have a normal sex drive, but no man has ever made me horny. Doesn't help that I don't find dick and balls visually pleasing lol.
We're all entitled to our own boundaries no matter how ridiculous. If having sex something you don't want to do, then you shouldn't do it. I don't kiss and I ditched any man who tried to force a kiss on me. One day I might find a man I couldn't resist to kiss, who knows, but for now that's my boundary and that's not up to debate.
No sex might be a dealbreaker to the vast majority of men, but men who'd make you do something you don't want to do (esp. for his own pleasure) is not a HVM anyway.
Remember that asexuality isnt a real sexual orientation. Youre straight. You might be a straight woman with a low sex drive, or a low interest in sex, but youre straight.
Dont fixate on goofy, phoney identities and labels. Just focus on how you feel.
I feel this too... Back when I have a lot of crushes it was never sexual. I just want to do lovey dovey activities. I dated some guys but I never wanted to try anything more than a kiss. I finally found a man I sexually attracted to but it only happened when I'm around 26 years old and I can't be with him anyway 😅 Maybe I'm just very picky.
I just wanted to pop in because your description of a relationship is similar to how I feel. I disagree with being asexual, but I did the quiz on got demisexual…
Idk 🤷🏻♀️ I still don’t agree with the label although, that might just be due to my lack of experience and caring about anything.
Sounds to me like you may be on the asexual spectrum. I'm demi-romantic, which means I have to know, like, and trust someone for a long, long time before I feel anything at all. I don't do crushes. I did have sex quite a bit when younger and manipulated by hormones, but it was never anything super special, and was quite often disappointing, precisely because it lacked that deep mental, emotional, spiritual connection. However, words like asexual, and all the varying types of asexuality weren't known until fairly recently.
Check out AVEN, the asexual network. They have lots of definitions, maybe even a quiz if I remember, plus articles. I'm post-menopausal now, and feel just as clear-headed and grounded as I did as a child right before puberty struck, just infinitely wiser and more experienced. Mostly I take care of myself. It's been seven years since I had sex, and honestly, I miss it very, very slightly, never ever enough to hook up, which is dangerous for women. I'm super open with men too about how demisexuality works, and figure the right guy will get it, and ideally be leaning toward that himself, and honestly VALUE a deep, true connection first and foremost. As always, slowing down relationships always works in women's favor.
I'm the same way and there's nothing wrong with that. I've still been able to find plenty of men over the years who like cuddling and stuff like that more than sexual activity even though it is pretty rare. They were just lv in other ways. I get turned on more by affection and acts of service but not by sex and I've probably only wanted sex a couple times in my whole life. I was extremely close with the man by the time I actually wanted sex, and he had to do it exactly my way so that helped me to find it enjoyable.
I call my own sex drive "horny for hugs" if that makes sense. Penises are gross to me, cum even more so, but just the right kind of touch from someone I feel safe with makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I do totally relate to this.