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I have this problem where I keep worrying about the state of the world, and then when I look at the way people are handling it I get disappointed, and then I dive into despair thinking how everything is f*cked, while I don't think this reaction is abnormal, it's not useful for me as it's making me feel terrible a lot of the time and I can't continue being like this.
Sometimes I feel like I don't live in the same world as others and trying so hard to tell convince people not only takes way too much effort, but it's also completely useless as they don't even listen to what you're saying, so I don't want to be affected by it at all, I want to just selfishly care about myself and a select few whom I trust.
I notice a lot of you ladies are almost unbothered and I really love that, is there a way I can train myself to not care anymore?
I have to constantly remind myself of what my psychiatrist told me: we cannot control what other people think and say (about us or in general), all we can control is how we respond.
I have had similar doubts and I figured that it means something. I spoke about it and treated as my starting point. Start from the root cause and you will realise life is dynamic and your goal posts keep shifting. Some people matter at times, while others matter less then and some people matter no matter what. I calibrate people and situations accordingly. Really being adjusting my point of view on people according to their, for lack of a better word, performance. And prune accordingly. New people always come and go and there’s no pattern, it is mostly you though and that did matter significantly. All deal breakers can leave immediately is my policy.
I actually care more than I might appear to. I wonder if this is also true of the people who you think don't care.
To paraphrase the dowager from Downton Abbey: "one can't fall to pieces every time we open a newspaper, we would be in a constant state of collapse."
You're already aware despair doesn't help the situation or your own well-being.
I do sometimes wonder if the people who flail about bad things happening think I'm some kind of psychopath, because I keep so calm and refuse to flail with them.
This is just the way I am, so I haven't really thought much about how to "train" to be like this.
Historical perspective helps. Throughout history, people constantly thought the world was about to end, especially around the year 1000.
If it makes you feel any better, things have always been varying degrees of fucked since the beginning of time.
i don’t think it’s about not caring, it‘s about having boundaries and being an “immovable mover.“
i can have compassion for others. i can sympathize. i empathize with animals and children. however i am not a martyr and i refuse to be walked all over/taken advantage of.
like others have said, you can’t control other people’s behaviors. you CAN however, avoid Low Value/No Value/Negative Value situations that might give you Low Value/No Value/Negative Value experiences. this means boundaries between you and Low Value people, and this forum attempts to train us in recognizing those people and in setting those boundaries.
You can care about people while totally being onboard with population control, and knowing that humans have ruined everything.