How Do You Deal with the "Shame" of Being Single?

You think the opposite of these man-centered pickme thoughts when they pop up. Watch a funny tv show instead of think them. Listen to a feminist podcast. Don’t talk about your personal life at work. Go for a walk. Do your hobbies. Men ain’t shit.

When other people try to shame you or badger you about why you’re single then you pull up articles on the 46 men just arrested in Texas for sex trafficking or the dozens of tinder date kidnappings and murders and say “date a man in this dangerous climate? Hell no!”

I take joy in declaring I'm very happily single. Maybe it's because I've been a serial monogamist most of my life, but I just get a sort of smug satisfaction from indicating I haven't met a man good enough for the new me, and I can't be assed to go looking for one. 🥰

There is no shame in being single. I am HAPPILY single and have been for years. I've also accomplished some damn awesome shit in that time that I never would have had I still been stuck caring for some mediocre man.

Whenever people try to rag on me for being single I point out that they aren't really living a dream while I am gleefully planning this year's trip to wherever the hell I feel like. Or I point out that they recently complained about dead bedroom. Or that they had a mental breakdown about doing it all while the man-child sits on the Xbox for hours.

Redirect the conversation into something more like 'why are you determined to make me as miserable as you?' It shuts them up or they find a reason to go away. Either result is acceptable.

I am not single, but I have started to move away from people who care about "credentials" of any sort. What degree/career you have, what car you drive, whether you're in a relationship or not, how you look, what you post on Insta... People can be interested in those things, sure, but if they judge me based on that... Bye. I want people in my life who care that I am happy and doing things I love. Who want to hear stories about my experiences and inner world even if they're not impressive. Who appreciate my sense of humor. Chasing "status" is not worth it (unless it's tied to something you truly want for yourself). So: don't explain yourself. Why are you single? I just am. Are you looking for a relationship right no? No. Why? Because it's not a priority. Grey rock, they'll move to something else, you slow fade them or cut them off if the questions annoy you too much.

Who gives a fuck what other people think of you??? Haters are literally going to hate. There is nothing you can do to change them or their opinions. And why would you? Such a futile effort.

Only you’re the one actually living your life. The only opinion of you that matters, is yours.

"How to deal with the shame of not being with something that is my leading cause of death/trauma/time waste"

Ma'am what 🥴

You're happier, healthier single. Whenever a woman gives you shit about your lack of being with your murderer think of how miserable she has to be since she is so concerned whether a dick is inside you or not

Usually when I talk to women I find out how unhappy they are in their relationships. I don't get shamed for opting out. It doesn't take much for people to start talking about themselves

There's no shame. There is freedom. Beauty standards don't matter when you like yourself. Being fully present in the moment prevents worry about the future.

What honestly helped me was looking at the sad state of today's relationships and marriages right now. All I see around me are super unhappy couples, men cheating on their wives, young men treating their girlfriends like shit or having side sneaky links, forevergfs still waiting for a ring after nearly a decade together, moms finding themselves single and struggling after their scrote husbands fucked off with their secretaries, etc. It is very rare to find a healthy, happy, and loving relationship between a man and a woman.

Until and unless men as a class change, until and unless men start to pick up their lion's share of work in the household along with their partners, until and unless men worked on their misogyny, until and unless men stopped cheating and monkey branching on women en masse... I will continue to feel happy being single and not have to worry about a man doing me dirty somewhere.

Society will shame you for being a single woman, but it does not matter. Fill up your life with everything and everyone else that brings you joy and fulfillment. Remember that childless, single women who never married are the happiest demographic in the world and the group most likely to outlive everyone else. Men are not changing anytime soon. You might luck out and find a special gem in the sea of garbage, but until then, make yourself happy. Become your own dream lover.

You could pick an average guy and then watch everyone criticise you for settling 🤷‍♀️ as another poster said, haters gon hate.

Given the absolute state of men today I take it as a point of pride to not be hitched up with anyone and to be going against the grain of society.

I don't subscribe to the value system espoused by modern folk these days so their negative opinions of my lifestyle are meaningless.

There is no shame in being single. So it’s not a thought that I’ve had

Would you rather be married to the wrong man and miserable instead?

I think many comments are missing the point a bit. Yes, there's no shame in being single but society will still try to shame you for it no matter how happy you're by yourself. It's frustrating that people can't understand why you're happy being single and why you won't settle, it's upsetting to be excluded by women especially when you're working on your friendships and connections. It's ridiculous that people will always judge you on wether you have a man or not, as if it's some kind of accomplishment you should be proud of. And yes, we shouldn't care about what other people think but it's only natural to want to feel accepted. Sometimes single women are outcasts.

However, remember that there's no shame in what you're doing. Point out to them all the shit most women go through in relationships and be ready for their reactions, cause we all know that pickmes hate when other women aren't as miserable as them.

Don't feel discouraged, there's nothing wrong with you and remember being single = being healthier and happier

Lack of "Clout" is not among my top 100 concerns in life.... How life feels, is more important than how life looks.

When it comes to the other comments you have, I can relate. But those feelings are going more and more away. In many ways I love my life, but i do also understand that many women/other people dont get how happy you can be by yourself, because they have never experienced it themself.

I think that I should lead by example, just living my life, with little regards to seeking male approvale, and doing things that will make me happy. I dont have to justify that to anybody. The reality, my energy, my happiness, my success - speaks for it self.

I don’t feel shame in being single. I feel happier and better single than when I’ve dated in the past

i always mention the statistics of middle-aged childless single women being the happiest demographic:

https://www.businessinsider.com/unmarried-childless-women-are-happiest-expert-says-2019-5

and also that one about how the female life expectancy being very similar for single and married women:

https://torontosun.com/health/married-men-live-longer-married-women-not-so-much-study

and of course, i show my radiant self free of drama, free of stress, free of all the evils men bring to a woman's life. i don't really care about what other peoplethink of me, or if they accept me. but i understand that being accepted is important for our well-being, depending on the context. so i avoid commenting on my personal life.

All the ppl who give funny looks when I say I’m single are alone now as a single baby mama. After 2 years he left to another woman. The dude who left also tried to have a relationship with me, I’m Childfree un used no depts, no ex men so I’m a goldmine to the scrotes.

Being alone only sucks if you aren’t letting go of the fairytale that men enrich your life, in romance novels men are so great and you wished you had a man like that but in reality men are big children you need to nurture until your old age if you are lucky because you can be replaced after grooming him into a better Man. During the pandemic the domestic violence has been increased. Child abuse has been increased and guess who does it? Men.

I hear so many women say that they are happy I never made the same mistake as them. And that being single means you get to keep your power your life and peace. When I see movies I feel a little upset but when I look at the real world and see how little value men add in your life I’m happy I’m not their wife.

I used to think like this. I think the moment you really respect yourself as an individual changes things.

If me or anyone else thinks I'm less than I need to work on the current view I have of myself and see if I WANT those people around me.

You in or out of a relationship holds no value on your worth as an individual. You give yourself your worth. Nothing outside of you can give you it, and if you feel it can, it can also be easily taken away.

That's why you give yourself that. No one can take it away from you.

Nothing to be ashamed of. I don't judge women for being single. The only women who would do so are pickmes.