How do you deal with being perceived as negative for holding FDS views (seeing reality)?

I just don't care anymore. I'm opinionated. Everyone that knows me, knows this about me.

Once I found fds, in late 2019/early 2020 I just became more opinionated.

I've been called all sorts of things. It doesn't bother me. I don't care if someone thinks differently from me. I get along with all kinds of people.

I have a group of friends, we used to be close but not so much anymore. One woman (I'll call her G) is my age and has never dated, never had a bf, never has kissed anyone etc. she's quite naive about realities of men. I tell her a lot of this stuff. She doesn't say anything negative about me or what I think. She just thinks NAMALT.

one of our other friends (I'll call her D) is a forever gf to a lv man. Now he's a nice person, I'll give him that. But he's the perfect example of a lvm.

I told G what I think will happen in their relationship, what I think lvm will do etc. she told me I was being dramatic! About 6 months later in D and lvm relationship alot of the things happened. Lots of my predictions came true. G apologized to me and was shocked that I was right.

So G is actually coming around and realizing im right when it comes to most men. She's not 100% on board.

I think planting little seeds does wonders. So what if they hate that you said what you said? Who cares if they hate fds?

At the end of the day we know how to protect ourselves and take care of ourselves.

We win at the end of the day.

Before I found FDS, I was a people pleaser and was taken advantage of by a lot of people. Now I'm much better at vetting people and standing up for myself and my life has improved immensely. Anyway, a large part of dropping my people pleasing tendency was learning to care a lot less about what people think of me. So to answer OP's original question, I don't really worry about being seen as negative for holding FDS views. It's also worth pointing out that I'm selective about who I share my FDS views with. I only share them with women that I respect or who I feel might benefit from FDS values and I certainly don't bother sharing these views with men. Of course men are going to have a problem with FDS values. They want us ignorant and easy to manipulate, not educated by websites like FDS.

There is one man who criticized me recently for holding some 'negative toxic female views'. In the end he said he wouldn't mind If I teach his daugthers 'elements of it'.

I think that says it all.

If you want to, feel free to share more about when it's bothered you -- I'm assuming it's becuase of the reactions of others, which definitely can happen.

For me, that falls into two categories --

1. Women who don't like your FDS views. Fortunately for us all, this has gotten a LOT less common for me lately. In fact, I can't think of the last time it happened. I've actually had women tell me that they really appreciate my stance, and one even told me that she stops and thinks, "What would Dame_Julian think of this behavior?" i.e. she's now recognizing scrote behavior when she sees it in the wild, and she is giving me credit for that. I am humbled by this. It gives me strength.

2. MEN who don't like FDS views. Whew, that's a whole post unto itself, but the takeaway is the same no matter what the man's actual reaction is -- and that takeaway is, screw 'em (not literally). They are hurt because they're culpable. I had one LVM acquaintance who took great offense at my use of the word "value" in a comment. I wasn't even talking about my views -- I was giving the backstory on a situation, and it required a quotation. The man in question was, factually, regarded as having high value by the single women in the community. That's all I said. But he didn't like it, thought it was superficial, etc. And it's just because it hit him where it hurt. A woman in his life had rejected him for value-related reasons and his ego couldn't stand it, so he had to lash out at me.

Keep that FDS flag flying high, sister, and come here when you're feeling exhausted from fighting the good fight.

(Edited for clarity)

I’ve always been disagreeable which would cause conflict, but ever since FDS I’ve gotten more clever with it and it makes it harder for people to argue with me.

For example, the paradox where women are called gold diggers for sleeping with men who have money, yet they’re also sluts if he doesn’t have money. By that logic go ahead and be a gold digger. At least you’re getting something out of it 🤷‍♀️

I don't talk about it, because when I do I see people try to challenge those boundaries, and last time It happened I felt bad that I don't accept Coffee or ice cream date because those dates are used to see what kind of woman you are.

There was a moment where I wondered if I did the right thing but then I grabbed the Handbook and I read a page about men and how they treated the women they felt they were the one for them, they did more than Coffee, they flied back and forth to see her and walked on water to make it happen.

And I should just accept low effort like a Coffee I probably have to pay for myself too? I don't mind a Coffee if we are on our way to a proper date.

I'm not here to be liked by men, or be cool and easy so that they can see where things will go, that's a complete waste of time and I'm not doing it. If you want to be viewed as a high class woman you should only allow high class treatment.

Women of fds don't want boyfriends they want partners for life who are compatible.

I edit men out of my life in a meaningful way. I don't want to convince them why they should be treating half of the population with dignity and respect as human beings instead of objects or appliances.

When it comes to women I share and interject as appropriate. I'm not trying to persuade them to change their mind or outlook on dating either. Some are lost in the sauce and will always be a victim to male dominion. It's more important to me to see who I should get close to and with whom I should limit contact bc they lack the wherewithal to not naively put me in an unsafe situation .

Good question… I was once called entitled by a male for having expectations and standards (FDS)

Edited

Also- I think my mom thinks my standards are too high.

I couldn't care less. Anyone who hasn't experienced what I've survived doesn't get to bother me with their shit opinions. Like another post here has said, my standards, rules, expectations have been written in BLOOD and TEARS.

I keep FDS knowledge to myself until asked or I see a golden opportunity to plant a seed and see it grow. Otherwise, I keep on keepin' on and let them see just how great life is without dusties (Iceland anybody? Oh, boyfriend thinks it's too expensive? Wonder how many trips you could take if he wasn't leeching off you darling?).

I don't even mention it, being a radfem who doesn't say hello to creeps is bad enough. I have been teaching my youngest sister FDS values, and the "nutcracker" in case of emergencies 🥋🥊

I am of the opinion that their opinions don't matter.

I have two experiences:

1. My best friend has always agreed with most of my atypical opinions on men and relationships, even before FDS (sometimes even more so: years ago, I remember her telling me that if she gets married, she expects her husband to pay all the bills, and that any money she earns will just be for her--at the time, I thought that was extreme, but now I know better). She disagrees with me on a few things, but usually comes around. I don't push; I just let people develop their own opinions. One such case was my opinion that men and women can't be close friends. We have a mutual male friend (superficial for me) who she felt she could be close friends with. Recently I said something about why men make bad friends, and tacked on the obligatory "oh, but some are okay--like [friend]." And she said "well, actually, [friend] pulled some weird shit on me a while ago, so we're not really friends anymore."

2. My mom always thought my standards were too high. She wanted me to get married and give her grandbabies, no matter what pile of shit I had to marry to do it. Recently, she's seen the situations that a lot of the men she tried to push me at have ended up in (cheating on their wives, being abusive, investing all their money in crypto, etc), and she sees that I was right about them. That right now I'd be dealing with the aftermath and picking up the pieces of my life right now had I married one of them. Recently she told me that she's glad I turned out the way I have, and that I've made good decisions in my life. She's recently started to understand my pessimism about the way most men my age are, too. Bonus points for a friend in my mom's church who she confided in once, saying "you know, I'm trying to be supportive of Huldra's decision to remain single, and not rush into marriage, but I secretly wish that she would just get married." Her friend thought about it for a few seconds, and said "well, are you really supporting her decision to remain single if you're secretly hoping she'll get married?" My mom told me about that conversation, and how it really made her think. So thanks, church lady.

"Friends" I was once close too have become distant because they don't like how I view things now. I have been told "Why do you cut men so fast omg", "you're being a little too hard on him", I have been called a "feminist moron", & so on. But I would rather be perceived as negative than to be fooled by a man who is going to strip away my happiness.

Being a part FDS, I feel understood and so grateful to be a part of this community. This might be virtual but I found my sisters and it couldn't be anymore wholesome for me.

I'm surrounded by the type of people around whom it would be advisable to keep my opinions to myself. Unless I can guarantee that it's safe to voice them out, I don't see why I should do it. Also, I've been scapegoated for being different. So I'm anyway working on strategies to be myself with as little interference possible. But on here and other online spaces, I'm fine giving free reign to my thoughts.