For fellow ND FDS ladies: If you suffer from rejection sensitivity, use this fraternity boy hack!

I loathe OLD!!!! I had never met anyone I ever liked that way.

To some women, they rather be the askers. And that’s also a cultural thing for some as well: some women (either NT or ND) just don’t sit well with the idea of assuming such a passive role. After all, a man who will dumb someone because a woman took the initiative was going to be a man that would dumb a woman even if he had been the initiator. If a man is going to dump a woman, he’d do it whether he initiated the contact or not.

@Mari Joy My question to you is: what are you doing here? Please do not advocate pick-me behaviour. Autistic women are even more vulnerable to being treated like crap by LVM. Your recent diagnoses don’t give you a right to preach this dangerous advice.

I’m neurodivergent, lol. And yes, type 2 diabetics can use those tactics to stabilize their sugar (sorry, but it’s true!) . Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean you can’t work on yourself and build confidence. I agree on the comfort zone and would suggest using this approach to female friendships instead of romantic ones.

They can, yes, but they won’t always work 🤦🏻‍♀️ since they might be more going on 😤.

Why are you preaching for women to ask men out? I've gone out with many men, talked to many and been friends with some. Women who ask men out will get laughed at, mocked, be seen as an easy lay and no chance of being valued. Even the ones who preach about women needing to make the first move will resent you, and not value you as much if you "give in too easily". Whatever floats your boat but you're pushing advice that's going to brings women a lot of pain.

Are you also neuro-divergent? If you are not, I BEG you to not have a strong opinion on this from a ND POV. I’ve been ghosted by men who had actively pursued me and men I’ve approached first. Relationship dynamics are very different with ND man and women. You can’t apply NT mindset and logic here.

@Mari Joy The ladies on the FDS podcast keep telling us not to ask men out, the idea being when men don't have to pursue a woman, they value her less.

This principle should hold true whether the woman is neuro-typical or neuro-divergent.

This doesn't mean men will always value women they pursue. But the ones they didn't have to pursue - they would tend to value less in general.

We still have to vet the ones that pursue us. The point of not pursuing them is to weed out men who can't be bothered to make any effort for us.

We would be making more work for ourselves if we don't weed out these guys. Men who just sit there and wait for everything to come to them don't make good additions to any woman's life.

Though I understand flirting in a way that encourages men to pursue (without outright pursuing them) comes with more challenges if you have more trouble with subtle body language cues than the typical person.

I didn't use to think anything of asking men out - the FDS podcast changed my mind on that.

I don't suppose we have to slavishly follow everything they tell us, though. You do what works for you. But they have given us warning when it comes to asking men out, and we would do well to heed their warning.

I came back to college this year to take a few stray classes so I could have a few additional credits for grad school. My department sold alcohol, tho. While I’m not originally from the mainland USA, I am now in the mainland USA however. And the school I attended is selling alcohol for some reason. Granted, while I do not tend to drink for health reasons, this isn’t something frown upon where I live now (Central Texas).

@Mari Joy I hope you've had a good semester! I'm always glad to hear of someone picking up more knowledge (and credits!). Good luck to you as you aim toward grad school!

Thanks, babe!