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I've always considered myself to be "anxious", and used mental health techniques to manage my anxiety, including CBT. CBT is great! But FDS has provided mental health benefits that therapy was unable to offer me. Here's why.
Therapeutic modalities for anxiety are based on the idea that the world is safer than you imagine it to be. The idea is that you need to convince your brain, adrenal system, etc. that you are "safe".
FDS, and other strategy systems that are adjacent to radical feminism, are about acknowledging ways that the world is unsafe that we are shamed for recognizing. We're not crazy, it's not in our heads. The hazards are real. BUT! It also teaches us that we have power. It gives us a roadmap for how to deal with the risks and come out on top.
I think many women who get "blackpilled" end up with only half of that package. They acknowledge the reality that lots and lots of men want to take advantage of women. And, they acknowledge the reality that men collectively will scheme to take advantage of women collectively, always have, and always will. (Not every individual man, but men as a population.) But they are taught that we are helpless. We're not. Organized female power has always existed in some form alongside organized male power.
I think my anxiety was more persistent because my brain and body understood that I hadn't yet learned how to protect myself from the types of bad experiences I had had with men in the past. I would try to convince myself to not let the bad experiences control my present behavior, continue to put myself at risk of a repeat event, and then use therapeutic techniques to soothe the anxiety that would appear as a result. Now, I apply stricter vetting strategies in interactions with all men, and I'm more willing to assert myself in ways that might get me labeled a "bitch". My anxiety has gone way down. I think it's because my body understands that I can protect her now.
Same here, FDS has been helpful for instilling self-esteem and self-care. It’s been far more helpful than any self help content I’ve consumed in the past.
Me too! It also helped me with finding peace if I don't want to marry. I never had the desire to do so but felt pushed by society etc. FDS opened my eyes and I am grateful for that. :) It's difficult for me to describe it. But I am doing definitely better🤗❤️
Me too. Knowing what to look out for and how to enforce strong boundaries and leveling up my standards has made my anxiety finally calm down
I love this post. You bring up something that I've been thinking about more and more. I want to become a psychotherapist, and I'd mainly like to work with women. I love the way FDS centers women and our wellbeing. I recently found out about something called "feminist psychology." It takes into account women's oppression and the way our experience in the world is affected by our sex. I want to do more research about it. If I'm able to become a therapist, I absolutely want to include my feminism in my practice. Women need therapy that addresses their specific concerns living under patriarchy. We don't need to be told our anxiety about men is irrational. We need the kinds of tools that FDS offers.
Here is more about feminist psychology for anyone who is interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminist_psychology
FDS has done a few things for me. On the one hand, it has disillusioned me, I can't lie. I used to idealize men and had more romantic notions about them. That's not my fault, though. We live in a world of rom coms, and we're not told the truth about men. FDS has opened my eyes. Radical feminism has, too. On the other hand, I'm grateful for the disillusionment because it empowers me. We must live in truth, not lies and falsehoods about men. Lies do not protect us. Having fantasies about men can cause us so much harm.
FDS helps me set boundaries in my life. It helps me center my happiness and emotional wellbeing. It reminds me of my worth. It tells me that I am not defined by my relationship status. It tells me to not settle. It gives me tips to be smarter about men. It shows me how I can increase my self-respect. It validates my intuition and gut instincts instead of gaslighting me. My mental health is improving as I incorporate the tenets of FDS. I'm better able to protect myself and my energy.
I can't remember where I read this but I recalled seeing an online discourse about how the field of psychiatry has deep early roots in misogyny and how it has been wielded as a weapon against women since the beginning of its inception, and I can't help but think that at least the majority of therapy, medications, and male-led group sessions are designed to keep women calm and happy enough to accept being devoured in the slaughterhouse that is the patriarchy.
I feel like if you need a therapist, request a woman, always. If you're seeking group sessions, find an all-women one nearby or join one online, especially if it has feminist ties. If you need self-help books, prioritize female author's voices over male author's. Only another woman can deeply understand our struggle navigating this world as a female than a man could ever pretend to, no matter how hard he tries.
I'm glad you're okay and past the depressing part, and into the peaceful acceptance stage. There is power and confidence in knowing that people aint shit and to not let their judgement influence our decisions(decisions that are all about our own safety and happiness after all)
My sister is just now exiting the hopeless stage and entering acceptance. ❤ We laugh together about how absurdly offended people act about women self preserving, simply living happily and unharmed.
It has the same effect on me. Unfortunately my anxiety is mostly not about men, but in regard to men I feel much safer after FDS for the reason you listed.