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I know this is not a post about dating strategy per se, but in many ways those of us who suffer from severe premenstrual symptoms every/majority of cycles will attest to the fact that it does make dating very hard for a number of reasons. Low self-esteem either as a cause of - as well as - cruelly exacerbated by the condition, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming negative feelings that make it very hard to think clearly and rationally about anything, depressive spells that make it hard to even face the day. Yes, all those and the other horrific symptoms that magically disappear with the onset of bleeding can really spell disaster for one's dating/love life.
If I could sum it up I would say that it's consistency that is the issue. It's hard to stay consistent when you have a mental health problem like this. And I mean consistency towards yourself and keeping a good lifestyle (healthy eating, sleeping, working out, keeping stress in check), and also towards others - your work, your friends and loved ones, and your partner if you have one. It's a chaotic nightmare when the episodes hit. Getting yourself to perform in daily life and be the best version of yourself - or even half of who you normally are - feels like trying to run through mud and you're exhausted and feel like a failure.
I would be keen to discuss the obstacles PMDD presents in levelling up in general, something I'm really struggling with especially now as I'm going through a really tough phase of life. What I find as well is that when tough times come along, of course this exacerbates the PMDD, and more tough times can result because of it due to the decisions you make when you're in that much pain. It's such a vicious cycle.
I've had PMDD episodes since my early twenties and I'm now in my mid-twenties. My better self is ambitious, I have goals for myself, I'd say I am academically pretty bright, and have achieved some things with my life (moving abroad, doing my degree in a foreign country in a foreign language, working in a good company and having an interesting job role). I've had many ups and downs though. I've had to take time off work for PMDD. I've never managed to hold down relationships (tbf I chose LVM, I didn't think I deserved better, and inevitably they all ended... i do have to say thanks to the PMDD which makes my tolerance levels for LVM behaviour minus 100). My longest relationship lasted 8 months. I feel that I regularly self sabotage, nearly quitting things (jobs, hobbies) all the time, feeling like I can't cope, hanging on by a thread and in my good times trying to overcompensate.
Has anyone found peace with the condition? Are there any ladies who can recommend some methods of treatment that worked for them (that preferably don't include SSRIs)? How do you stop the self sabotage and stay consistent, stay on track, and ultimately become successful?
Thank you and lots of love to you all xxxxx
I just wanted to say how nice it is to see some space dedicated to PMDD bc I have also struggled with it for years before I even heard the term, and had to figure so much out by myself. It’s like most of the month life is great and then that week or so before blood it’s a living nightmare. Jogging / going on daily walks and hitting the gym 2x a week for weights has helped me loads. I now take Wild Yam & Chaste Tree Berry supplements the week before my period which great reduces the physical aspects (bloating, cramping, restlessness).
I also journal and listen to daily affirmations (Habits of a Goddess) more during that time.
Someone above mentioned the moon cycle and it’s so on point. I read once that we might’ve been synched with the moon at some point but that artificial lights may have evolved us away from that. Be well!
I have heard good things about calcium and vitamin D
I've had PMDD since teenage years and still now going into my 30's. I don't do a good job tracking my cycle but when the symptoms creep up I can feel my body trembling like I'm about to turn into a monster and sometimes I forget that my cycle exists at times. It sucks cause it's like night and day changes, I can be super happy healthy during the rest of the month, once my period starts it's downhill from there w/ onslaught of symptoms that pretty much ruin my life. It might have been the culprit in ending a relationship&friendships when I was deep into the PMDD without knowing I was having the symptoms.
I do notice I get a huge craving for CHOCOLATE specifically. It just soothes me idk if it's anything in the chocolate helping me.
I have PMDD, I have not found peace with it yet. I try eating high protien low carb and minimize sugar. I exercise, I drink dark cocoa powder, I take natural calming supplements. I sleep more.
I track my cycle so I am prepared for my mental health decline. I mentally prepare by listening to affirmations, and being super kind to myself.
None of these things are a cure for me they are coping methods.
Another thing I've done is that I've learnt to monitor my period using the moon cycle. For example I ovulate during the full moon. It helps me accept my condition when I view the moon phases as a symbolic representation of the transformations I experience living with PMDD.
I'm glad you bought up this topic, it's nice to hear from others living with this. Makes me feel less "crazy". 😃💖
I have PMDD as well and it seems to only be getting worse as I get older. I’ve read it’s caused by neuro-inflammation. For this reason, I take anti-inflammatory supplements like curcumin, turkey tail, and I take bovine colostrum for overall health. I have an upcoming appointment with a neuro-psych doctor and hope to get some more answers. I’ll come back and share here if I find a solution.
I have PMDD since my early 20s, tho I didn’t know that what it was until my 30s. As I get closer to perimenopause it’s gotten worse. Can you fkn believe it? But recently I’ve got it under control. I have taken up daily meditation, which is really transformational. Meditation lowers cortisol, which as you know, is the stress hormone. I also take evening primrose. Every time I stop things get worse, so now I make sure I never run out. I also take 5htp, which boosts serotonin in the brain, which I’ve read is the likely cause of PMMD, and not necessarily hormone imbalance. I also do B vitamin and magnesium.
It has really messed with my productivity over the years, which has made me feel like a loser at times for not accomplishing more. But such is the nature of the beast so I don't beat myself up anymore.
Some months are worse than others and I feel like a cyborg with no feelings and my poor man knows to give me my space. I always question our relationship when a bad bout hits.
Hello, friend. I also have been diagnosed with PMDD. Some months are easier than others, and I've found that stress really exacerbates it. So trying to make time to relax is a must. I also found that omega 3 fish oil supplements have helped. I'll microdose psilocybin during hell week on the more difficult months to give myself a much-needed artificial serotonin boost. Every body is different though. An elimination diet may be insightful to see if there is anything in your diet contributing to your symptoms. Diet and exercise are always the default suggestions, and as annoying as it is, it's for a good reason. Other than that, I'd say researching and experimenting with different supplements to see what works for your unique self! It's a tough one to navigate.
I get PMDD so bad some months--it's like being at my worst point of depression again 😭 It's only become a problem for me in the last few years but it makes me feel so awful every month that I feel like I'm losing my mind, despite paying for two forms of psychotherapy. PMDD played a horrible role in my last relationship and I feel that it kept me gaslighting myself in addition to the abuse in that relationship. Even now, I'm still unsure of half the things that happened 😐 Every time I try to get help, I'm told to take SSRIs and have recently been told the pill might help. I don't want to when the side effects include exacerbating the symptoms and I'm actually fine the rest of the month. More than fine! Great!
I don’t have any definitive answers myself, but you’re not alone. I have also learned that the condition is very common among neurodivergent women. The only things that seem to help me manage are consistent exercise and eating enough (protein/carb), but I know it can be a catch-22. Lara Briden has a lot of suggestions if you don’t want to go the SSRI route.
Are you sure this isnt caused by another condition like endometriosis or/and an ovarian cyst? Because its criminally underdiagnosed. I have endometriosis and until I got diagnosed, I was told it was all in my head/"just being a woman". If you have a physical condition/being treated badly, its natural to feel like shit and unnatural to pretend its ok.