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Five years ago, I was sexually assaulted and did not come forward. The whole thing was very confusing and I was told by pretty much everyone not to report it. In short, I was at a huge social event and this guy led me into the back when I was absolutely wasted (had fallen/stumbled over multiple times even) and wore me down after I said "no" over and over until eventually I gave consent. I kept quiet for years because the people I told about it overwhelmingly argued that since I eventually gave consent (despite the many times I said "no") it was not an assault. I was extremely drunk and worn down. It was all very confusing but looking back, the creep had two men guarding the door of the room he led me to and it all seemed very deliberately set up.
I realize I should have came out sooner. I am reaching out if anyone has any resources or experience with this type of thing. I don't have a strong case - I have been cordial with him at other events after this one and have no proof whatsoever. I have an ex boyfriend who I was seeing at the time and knows this happened - he may or may not be willing to be a witness. We didn't end on good terms and this was a huge part of why we broke up. With that said, the abuser is around women all the time and I am sure he has done this to others. I don't know what the chances are any of them will come forward. The man who did this is very powerful and well-connected with celebrities, actors etc. He has a LOT of people who support him. I do not. I really can't see this going well for me but I do feel it must be done. The guy has also amassed a huge following on social media spewing redpill nonsense. If it weren't for his connections, no women would give two shits about him.
I am posting this just for any words of encouragement, resources, experiences, or any other words of wisdom regarding this issue. Please do not berate me for not coming out sooner. I reiterate again that I have had essentially NO support from anyone I told. If you have ever been sexually assaulted or raped and the people you confided in all tell you not to do anything, this has an effect on you.
The statue of limitations was up 2 years after it happened but the state it occurred in just changed that law this year, now giving me another chance. I realize I will need a lawyer. He has way more money than I do to pay for one. My only real hope would be other women coming forward as well.
The one positive that came from this is that I got sober afterwards and have remained sober ever since.
Yes, report it. Everyone you told is an asshole and can burn.
As all these assholes have proven, absolutely no one is going to stand up for you or help you, except you. You deserve to be stood up for and to be helped.
I reported it 2 years after he did it. Everyone I told responded like they did to you, or worse. Nobody ever said the words "You should report it." I went to the local crisis center and got a victim advocate who helped me report it. Eventually he got arrested and that was awesome.
I am telling you: you should report it. You will regret not reporting it one day. You really need to be your own hero here since everyone you know thinks it's no big deal to rape you.
It's a very big deal and you owe it to yourself to defend your right to not get raped. If you had a daughter, what would you tell her to do?
I am truly so sorry you went through this experience. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. I was sexually assaulted in my own home two years ago. I reported him and I have a trial date set in Sept and now I’m not sure if I want to see him again. Found out he is married with 3 kids, and the funny thing is that his wife thinks I’m lying lol. Anyways, there has to be an victim assistance program in your state. They can help you with the process.
I’m not sure if I will end up going to trial or not. I’m going to leave it to my mental state to see what works best for me.
If he hires an awful lawyer they can get very dirty with the victims so please be open that anything can happen and it will not be smooth sailing. The laws do not protect the victims. You will have to relive that story multiple times. But definitely report it and then get a therapist and decide later on what you want to do. I’m just being honest and transparent. It’s not easy but we can still do it.