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So after five months of being single, I decided to dip my toe back into the waters of online dating for god knows what reason.
Five days ago I matched with a cute software engineer and we hit it off right away. We've been speaking pretty non stop for the last five days, sending each other funny things, sharing details about our families etc.
We planned to go on our first date tomorrow and honestly I started getting excited (do I ever learn??). Without any provocation however he turned the conversation sexual tonight and asked me if I liked being slapped during sex. I told him no and basically explained that if he wants to domestically abuse women and label it as a kink then that's his business, I'm not interested.
he then proceeded to go on a passionate rant about women who love it and how it allows them 'to lose control' and feel empowered. I'm talking multiple long messages defending hitting women despite me saying I don't care and I consider it weird. He then sent a voice note which I refused to listen to, I texted to say we're sexually incompatible and blocked him.
I forgot to block him on Snapchat however and can see he messaged me nearly ten times on there, most likely to tell me I'm wrong or immature for 'kink shaming'. I haven't opened the messages and I don't plan to.
Why are men like this so fucking dense?!
A woman has literally told you she's not interested in your depravity and blocked you on nearly all social media as well as on the dating app. Why the fuck would you find another way to contact her when she clearly wants nothing to do with you and your grossness??
This is why you don't give ANY contact information or social media before you meet someone. Don't give your details.
You did not dodge him - he can find you now, and he's shown he's violent and stalkerish in his behaviour.
Take it as a strong lesson.
5 months being single is a blip, it sounds like you need more time. A dating app (or text) is not the place to have days of conversation where you reveal info about your family etc. The second he asked about slapping is when you block and delete. Don't send screeds or argue with them.
This guy sounds more than just dense. He sounds psychotic.
The first alarm bells for me as I read this rang when you mentioned that you had chatted to him 'non-stop for five days'. Don't do this. Don't waste your precious time chatting to complete strangers on the internet who are probably using your photos and photos of other women for mastubatory purposes, and who might (as in your case) be dangerous, violent stalkers.
I love how he mansplains women's experiences, to a woman. Fuck me but is there no end to their utter self-importance and delusion.
I admire your willpower in not listening/reading
Also "lose control" is the opposite of "be empowered" 🙃
I highly recommend screenshotting and saving all messages. If you end up needing a restraining order against this guy, you will need them. Also could be sent to his employer/female relatives/etc if he won't leave you alone
Good he showed his true colors early. Just don't give them your info next time.
Before I met my boyfriend, a guy I was seeing spanked me the first time we had sex. I ended the night immediately.