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Any single mothers on here?

I have never hated men as much as after becoming a mother and truly seeing how much the world hates women, despite us raising the people of the future.

I was with the father 5 years before having a child, right after the birth he lost his job, his mind and started creating so much drama that I nearly couldn’t keep my job either. I had to kick him out before destroying everything I worked so hard for.

Although my life is more peaceful now I hate that I’m forced to do everything with no help from society. I’m lonely and isolated like I’ve never been before.

I’ve dated a bit, mainly focusing on single dads. But I just can’t. When seeing how their lives have hardly changed. They have their kids maybe every other weekend, or just every other holiday. They have plenty of time for friends, hobbies and dating, while I have time for none of those things.

Are there any other women on here that have gone through something similar? And to everyone else, don’t have children unless you’re fine with the idea of becoming a solo mum eventually. You can know them for 5 damn years like I did and they will still change once they have impregnated you.

6 answers0 replies

Comments (6)

LaDame

Jan 15

I'm a married woman with three kids and have been thinking about what life would be like if I end up divorcing my spouse.... From the stories of my friends and FDS it's unlikely I'll be dating, I would want to date but I am not convinced the man exists that would meet my standards. Even if I do find someone I don't want to ever get married again or cohabitate, maybe two houses on one property could work but I want my space and time without the oppressive sex around ALL THE TIME. I realize now after taking space from my marriage that even the presence of a man creates an anxiety response in my body, I may need a man-free home to be truly at peace and it sounds lovely.

I stopped wearing a wedding ring several years ago because it felt like a public display of my shackles. I noticed men/dads stopped talking to and hitting on me when I was with my kids. My guess is that a woman with kids and married = hookup without strings and/or possible affair partner; single woman with kids = too much trouble to bother talking to. I'm happy to be ignored by them.

I am and expect will always feel angry and bitter about patriarchy and I think it's healthy to be so. I use this anger to create change.

I hate that "dad" gets the benefits of the family without the work, put their wives thru years of thankless slavery, sit their entitled asses at the head of the family, and have the nerve to whine about not getting to fuck his woman whenever and however he wants. It's endless. Maybe the anger keeps from from despair.

Unknown member

Jan 15

I am not in your situation, but I will answer as a childfree woman.

I’ve known since I was literally five years old that I never want children. I am in my late 30s and have never changed my mind. I have always disclosed to men, before the first date (if I met them on OLD) or on the first date (if I met them IRL) that I will NEVER be interested in bearing, raising, babysitting, or adopting children.

If you think dating as a single mother is bad, try dating as an openly childfree woman. Most men in their 20s and 30s want offspring and have literally no long-term use for a woman who is not interested in mothering the offspring. Sure, they’ll date you for entertainment, but they will never take you seriously.

I mention this to say we are kind of in the same boat. Most men have no “use” for us beyond “fun” and sex, and I think it’s a blessing in disguise.

Edited

Anna

Jan 15

Replying to

Yes isn’t it funny all these men who want children and then don’t care of said children?! Even if they are not as bad as my one was and you are able to keep them around (belive me it got REALLY bad for me to prefer being a single mother) they will never do their fair share at home. And nowadays they won’t pay the bills either, maybe half if you’re lucky. It’s ridiculous.

Venus Violet

Jan 16

Replying to

Even if you married a guy who’s an amazing dad, super involved, and very much WANTS to be an involved parent… he’ll try to do half the work, but he’ll never be doing the pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, or the constant thinking about the child’s needs in present and future.

My sister’s husband is a good parent and a good husband, but even with that my sister does the majority of the mental load involved in caretaking and raising their child. Her husband doesn’t think about what needs to be packed into the diaper bag when they go out for the day - left to him, he’ll bring ONE diaper and probably forget the changing pad or anything else his child needs.

He does work more hours of paid labor than my sister, but that gets him out of doing the boring work of entertaining and enriching the life of a young child all day long, as well as the endless laundry, feeding, and cleaning (he does what he can when he’s home, but it’ll never be half since he’s not physically there when it needs to be done).

Even if you have an amazing partner to coparent with, unless he becomes the SAHD and you’re the breadwinner, you’ll be doing a majority of the child rearing. Mothers take on the bulk of the load, even when the dad was the one who pushed for having a child in the first place.

Ansa

Jan 15

I don't date single dads because the ex is always trying to get between us and uses the kids to get her way. So their lives suck because most single women have no wish to deal with pickme exes

Leveled Up

I’ve been a single mom of 3 kids for 20 years, beginning when my youngest was 1 year old.

Even though women are superior to males, and mothers are better parents than fathers - single mothers are vilified in a patriarchy. This is because society has conditioned everyone to believe that a woman must be partnered with a man, in order to have status. This affects single moms and single women (aka “crazy cat ladies”).

It took me several years of therapy to process all my internalized misogyny, and to overcome my deep fear of being single. Now I am truly free.

Your self worth comes from inside, from the knowledge that you are a biologically and mentally, superior human being, simply because you’re a woman. I hope you can shed the need to feel that male approval or desire has any value. “Dick is abundant and of low value,” and “Men will fuck a McChicken, why would I be flattered if they want to fuck me?”

Focus on your little family, focus on self-care, focus on becoming financially and emotionally resilient.

Ignore the opinions or reactions of scrotes and pick mes. You got this!

Edited

Any single mothers on here?

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