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I'm a bit late to this, but after seeing posts about Hailey and Justin Bieber not dressing correctly. I thought I'd share my own story with a man I stopped seeing shortly like Justin.
A few weeks ago I went on date with a work colleague (from another department). Sadly, he was not dressed to my liking. We did dinner and a movie. We went to see Barbie.
Throughout the whole week, I told him that I was going to "glam up" and curate the perfect outfit.
On the day of the date, I show up in a cute pink mini halter dress (just like Hailey's red strawberry dress), matching pink pumps, a cute mini purse, and what does he wear? A red bandanna-print (paisley print) t-shirt button-up, cargo shorts, and Birkenstocks. I was shocked, because it was worse then what he wore to work. He did not pass the 'fit check.
He realized he was out of place at the restaurant. He said that he initially was going to wear something more muted. I gently told him that I liked what he wore to work, with his suits, and causal work attire. He looked polished and clean which is why I agreed to the date.
I told him my style and how I usually wear neutrals and basics with an occasional pop of colour. For dates and hangout with friends that involve restaurants, I will always dress up. He said he will try to dress accordingly. But then he proceeded to tell me his childhood, and how he was rich, and he never had chance to wear what he liked because his mom always picked out his clothes. Now, he doesn't like it when people make him wear things he doesn't want to wear and he'll dress how he wants in his time off.
Yeah... there was no second date after this date. I can't be with a guy that doesn't have style, or atleast let me help him dress properly. I love fashion and playing dress up. I love having "fashion shows" with friends and family.
I want to be with a guy that is into fashion, and style. Or atmost, have the same style as me.
Edit:
It has come to my attention that this may be another thing that I look for in a guy. I don't know what to call it.
I come from a family with certain expectations that require attention when it comes to clothes. In addition, I like to attend social functions from school, and other parts of life. At certain times, I need him to be able let me style him for the day, or have him be willing to agree to wearing pieces. In short, I need and depend on him to always say yes when I say, "I need you to wear ____ just for today, can you do that?". I can't have a man child that stomps his feet when I ask him to wear a bow tie, or a shirt that I like seeing him in.
Yeah his outfit was completely inappropriate for a restaurant. Also his "reasoning" that his mother picked his clothes when he was young and that's why he dislikes dressing up now sounds incredibly childish and petty to me. I wouldn't have agreed to a second date with this guy either. It's also worth pointing out that knowing how to dress for certain occasions is an important social skill and one that every adult should have IMO. I'd also like to point out that I was brought up to believe that if I was unsure about how to dress for an event, I should err on the side of over-dressing rather than under-dressing.
Wearing appropriate clothing for events is a basic social skill many men fail. It signifies respect for the people you are going to be present with, and self awareness of what you are projecting. Fashion says more than people think.
For example: when I see a dude wearing ill fitting duds, uncombed hair, and a stained tee shirt, he is just loudly telling everyone he doesn't wash his ass.
I am very much against cargo shorts. Are you going on a mission, little guy? No. Watcha got in those pockets little buddy? Absolutely nothing. Are you in the military? No you are a coward. Little boy clothes.
I don't need a man to wear suits or button-down shirts all the time, but I do expect him to be dressed for the occasion. I also agree with "he has to let me choose sometimes". I never tell my bf exactly what to wear, but he understands / wants to understand my preferences well enough that he will purposefully wear what I like or match the colors of my outfit. One time he said he was planning to wear a certain pair of shorts to a friend's birthday party, and I was not exactly elated (it was a casual event but I just wasn't a fan of the shorts), he went out and bought new ones the next day lmao. And he also video called me to confirm my opinion on a shirt he wanted to get.
He didn't dress well because he didn't like you enough or care to. He was not interested in impressing you or even the bare minimum of being considerate for the occasion. Despite the fact that you mentioned a few times you were going to put together something cute. He didn't care and he was uninterested. If we flip the script then you and most women would never dress down for a date. I'm glad you didn't go on a second date. In time you will develop the confidence to leave the date. I haven't dates in a really long time but after I decentred men and enjoyed being alone I developed the confidence to walk out on a couple of dates I went on over a year ago. One man was rude as soon as we met up. I smiled and said "hello." He didn't bother to greet me and his first words were something like "urgh this place sucks!"
I turned around walked back to my car and drove off to treat myself to a nice glass of wine. Thankfully I scheduled plans with some acquaintances for 2 hours after the date because I will not waste time dressing up for a someone Idon't know. I would recommend always scheduling plans after a date and not staying more than 2 hours on the date in the initial stages.
I had an ex that didn’t dress appropriately for an event and it just gave me the ick. We didn’t last that much longer. It wasn’t that the other men looked so much better (my ex was hot), they just looked appropriate and he just came across as childish.
Was he wearing long socks under the Birkenstocks or just bare feet? Both are bad, but one of the worst looks I see on men imo is when they do the sandal/sock combo.
Being well presented for a date is the bare minimum and he couldn't even do that, he can take his excuse and use it to help him sleep at night.
Oh no, Birkenstocks, the horror. Ain't no way to turn any even slightly fashion conscious woman off like rocking Birkenstocks or Crocs to a date. Yikes