Age Appropriate Clothes for 30s

I am lost on this topic and was wondering if someone could help me simplify it. I want to level up and present myself to the world well for everyday and different occasions. This is to avoid any preventable mistreatment from others, looking appropriate for work, and fitting in well with other women. It's not right or acceptable, but sometimes people are treated poorly if their outfits are more colorful/creative than the norm.

I have done some research, and some of the tips for women in their 30s are understandable. I agree with no distressed clothing, no booty shorts, and no graphic tees (except at the gym/at home), especially if the person is not on the beach. I think I dress appropriately by occasion, such as when to wear athleisure vs business casual vs daytripping. I have done trial and error to find the most flattering cuts/materials that are not skintight nor baggy. I don't like short necklaces and leather/fabric/glass bead jewelry; I like decent metals (like steel/sterling silver) and stones only, and minimal amount of jewelry pieces at once). My jewelry is small and dainty overall.

But some other fashion rules make me think "really??" It seems like women in their 30s arent allowed to have fun modest clothing or accessories. For example women in their 30s allegedly have to forego tasteful studs on handbags (according to one article i read about this). This one gets me upset because sometimes a handbag will have a nice neutral color but the stud adds a little bit of glam and sparkle.. studs are nice because they can add flair without being a tacky rhinestone. Now that I am able to afford nicer clothing pieces and accessories, it feels sad that I cannot just wear what I want.

Do I seriously have to toss my skater skirts with the shorts built in, to dress age appropriately when it gets hot out? (They cover all the arse and Imo cover more than shorts). What's next, having to toss a-line dresses and cardigans in my 40s for muumuus? 🙄😔

I'm trying to be HV in my daily wear. I wear mostly neutral solid colors, usually avoid patterns, and choose colors based on my seasonal typing. If i wear a pattern, it has limited amounts of color variety and is something floral or abstract. i'm trying to blend in and be "normal" with a timeless/classic style but i like at least having some semblance of choice in my day to day.

I'm not fashion savvy but I think I have put some things together. Is it as dismal as I fear? I would really love to hear if anyone else still wears the things I mentioned in 30s and beyond.

Thanks in advance!