Okok, I AM SO OVER THE MALE FOCUS FDS HAS TAKEN. IT'S ALL ABOUT MALE DEPRAVITY, BAD REALITY TV, AND SCROTES SCROTES SCROTES. You'd think we were a scrote fanclub for how much ATTENTION they get on this platform. Where has all the strategy gone? Where has the checking in with yourself to go over unpacking your dating goals and mapping out how to get there? I'm so over it and I'm tired of laughing along bc it's funny but cringing bc it's as mindless as the shows that get reviewed. Like I'm struggling to see the FDS message in the recent podcasts and especially the posts.
Y'all need to read Stiffed by Susan Faludi about why young men are disaffected nowadays- this UK study isn't new news
Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man https://g.co/kgs/bwSwgT
AND attachment theory is good stuff. It's a misinterpretation to think it's just 'how you form relationships with others' when it's really about "how you learned as a child to interact to get your needs met" to THAT end it becomes very obvious that when you get a boy who has had kind, indulgent parents and struggles to get what he wants from other people -he's immediately thrown into a hyper stress response from a mundane disappointment that they should have mastered by age 6. Honestly with boys, sometimes they need to get beat and not get sympathy for it, and that's where mother's on average aren't harsh enough compared to father's
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Unknown member
Jan 08, 2023
Replying to
Eh, I def have a mixed bag of a background- I am against gentle parenting (I think it's a good strategy but you have to be ready and willing to switch if it isn't stopping behavior from occurring). Some boys choose violence from an early age- and if it isn't met with violence, it only gets worse.My brother would have 1000% benefited from getting smacked up for brawling with me and my younger sister- instead he got put in karate bc my parents knew he was being bullied at school (it just made him better at getting at me and my sister).There is 100% a time when you need the father to check the son's behavior -especially if the son is getting violent. It happened w my cousin too, he started getting rough w his mother once he was like 14 and his dad had to step in and set him straight
I agree with this part. Once violence starts at any age, it needs to be nipped in the bud but for children who are not violent and are just going through normal development, gentle parenting is very helpful. Most of the LVMs/Abusive men I met were abused as kids. They are assholes for not healing and working on themselves but abuse continue to happen because the abuse at home is still happening by fathers mostly as it’s modelled behaviour. It’s unfortunate because even kids at the age of 2-3 years old can have trauma instilled in them if they witnessed violence against their mothers by their fathers. If my son ever laid a hand on me, he will be facing severe consequences and if he doesn’t stop, I have no problem sending him to his dad to be honest. I don’t allow this to happen to me.
I confess I didn't read all the way down: the Daily Fail is not a credible source. So forgive me if this came up, but I will add it in anyway...
Men are defined by their masculinity. It forms the baseline of their identities and when it's threatened they can get vicious.
One way to measure masculinity is in the ability to attract women.
So when a woman rejects a man, to her point of view she is only saying "no, we are not compatible / I don't find you attractive." What a man hears is "you are not masculine enough."
A boy who is completely unable to attract a woman is thoroughly emasculated. Why he blames women, well, boys grow up entitled. So it must be women's fault.
Food for thought: the paranoia and rejection dysmorphia (irrational fear of rejection from family, friends & romantic interests) are used to diagnose ADD. I’ve talked to a couple ADD doctors and they admitted to me that it doesn’t exist in a vacuum, often comes with a laundry list of other things (usually borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, autism, and oppositional defiant disorder), that it tends to run in families (but it’s not definitive whether it’s nature or nurture), and that they currently can’t say it isn’t related to brain injuries.
I argue that the men who had decent childhoods but still end up incels were born disordered or experienced brain trauma or they traumatized their own brain via obsessive exposure to violence and porn (studies show they cause brain damage). Most men are lying about poor childhoods. Studies show mediocre parenting results in some of the best adults. Men lie because if they can’t blame their problems on others —it means they are the problem. If men collectively faced this, we’d have an epidemic of male suicides instead of femicides.
When a man is noticeably brain damaged combined with being unpleasant to be around —people naturally avoid him. His paranoia becomes founded in reality creating a vicious never ending cycle of self-hate and projecting that hate on others in an act of self-preservation (to prevent suicide). Add poor diet, poor exercise, poor hygiene, poor social life, and poor sleep (staying up to 4am playing video games) and you get an undatable incel.
I think women are less likely to become extreme incels because we tend to internalize blame on ourselves rather than project it on to others. We are more likely to blame ourselves than our parents or our abusers. We are more a danger to ourselves than to others.
Incels are just young men who aren’t employed enough and aren’t doing any physical labor. They have WAY too much time on their hands and don’t have to work to survive. To have that much energy to hate women for hours and hours everyday simply means they’re useless. I don’t know one gainfully employed male who’s single. Not one. And men in construction or the Army are always juggling a wife and some of them have many girlfriends, too. Men who aren’t engaged in physical labor enough to trigger their male hormones and manhood are dangerous. Combine that male energy with porn addling and entitlement, and you have your Future Serial Killers of America Club.
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Okok, I AM SO OVER THE MALE FOCUS FDS HAS TAKEN. IT'S ALL ABOUT MALE DEPRAVITY, BAD REALITY TV, AND SCROTES SCROTES SCROTES. You'd think we were a scrote fanclub for how much ATTENTION they get on this platform. Where has all the strategy gone? Where has the checking in with yourself to go over unpacking your dating goals and mapping out how to get there? I'm so over it and I'm tired of laughing along bc it's funny but cringing bc it's as mindless as the shows that get reviewed. Like I'm struggling to see the FDS message in the recent podcasts and especially the posts.
Y'all need to read Stiffed by Susan Faludi about why young men are disaffected nowadays- this UK study isn't new news
Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man https://g.co/kgs/bwSwgT
AND attachment theory is good stuff. It's a misinterpretation to think it's just 'how you form relationships with others' when it's really about "how you learned as a child to interact to get your needs met" to THAT end it becomes very obvious that when you get a boy who has had kind, indulgent parents and struggles to get what he wants from other people -he's immediately thrown into a hyper stress response from a mundane disappointment that they should have mastered by age 6. Honestly with boys, sometimes they need to get beat and not get sympathy for it, and that's where mother's on average aren't harsh enough compared to father's
I confess I didn't read all the way down: the Daily Fail is not a credible source. So forgive me if this came up, but I will add it in anyway...
Men are defined by their masculinity. It forms the baseline of their identities and when it's threatened they can get vicious.
One way to measure masculinity is in the ability to attract women.
So when a woman rejects a man, to her point of view she is only saying "no, we are not compatible / I don't find you attractive." What a man hears is "you are not masculine enough."
A boy who is completely unable to attract a woman is thoroughly emasculated. Why he blames women, well, boys grow up entitled. So it must be women's fault.
Thanks for the laughs!
Food for thought: the paranoia and rejection dysmorphia (irrational fear of rejection from family, friends & romantic interests) are used to diagnose ADD. I’ve talked to a couple ADD doctors and they admitted to me that it doesn’t exist in a vacuum, often comes with a laundry list of other things (usually borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, autism, and oppositional defiant disorder), that it tends to run in families (but it’s not definitive whether it’s nature or nurture), and that they currently can’t say it isn’t related to brain injuries.
I argue that the men who had decent childhoods but still end up incels were born disordered or experienced brain trauma or they traumatized their own brain via obsessive exposure to violence and porn (studies show they cause brain damage). Most men are lying about poor childhoods. Studies show mediocre parenting results in some of the best adults. Men lie because if they can’t blame their problems on others —it means they are the problem. If men collectively faced this, we’d have an epidemic of male suicides instead of femicides.
When a man is noticeably brain damaged combined with being unpleasant to be around —people naturally avoid him. His paranoia becomes founded in reality creating a vicious never ending cycle of self-hate and projecting that hate on others in an act of self-preservation (to prevent suicide). Add poor diet, poor exercise, poor hygiene, poor social life, and poor sleep (staying up to 4am playing video games) and you get an undatable incel.
I think women are less likely to become extreme incels because we tend to internalize blame on ourselves rather than project it on to others. We are more likely to blame ourselves than our parents or our abusers. We are more a danger to ourselves than to others.
Incels are just young men who aren’t employed enough and aren’t doing any physical labor. They have WAY too much time on their hands and don’t have to work to survive. To have that much energy to hate women for hours and hours everyday simply means they’re useless. I don’t know one gainfully employed male who’s single. Not one. And men in construction or the Army are always juggling a wife and some of them have many girlfriends, too. Men who aren’t engaged in physical labor enough to trigger their male hormones and manhood are dangerous. Combine that male energy with porn addling and entitlement, and you have your Future Serial Killers of America Club.
can we leave article discussion to Patreon? i'd rather listen to a good strategy than this
The ingredient is patriarchy. The end.