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When my other girl friends go through a breakup, or they need dating advice. Everyone comes to me, even though I've been single AF for years, and have never even been in a serious relationship that lasted more than a year or two (back in my pickme days when I didn't leave at the first sign of disrespect).
It amazes me how even my married friends, ones who are older and should have more life experience, look to me for relationship or life advice on general. I think FDS ideology has always been a part of me before FDS even had a name, but it is just sort of heartwarming to know that I must be doing something right for these people to trust me and turn to me for support.
Today is Valentine's day, and one of my friends recently went through a breakup, so she hit me up to go out tonight because she didnt want to be sad about the breakup and being single on Valentine's day, etc. I think she wanted to be around my energy because she needs a role model who is happy and thriving in her single energy and who won't settle for anything less than the best. I let her vent about her recent breakup and her ex was an absolute scrote so I tried to instill some FDS concepts in her ("if he wanted to, he would") which absolutely resonated with her. I feel sort of honored that people look up to me as the "strong, single woman" trope. It goes to show that even people who claim to be satisfied in their relationships still secretly envy those of us who keep our standards high and are committed to leveling up and being well rounded, amazing human beings energetically. Other women need us to set an example for them and to motivate them to also become better for themselves. They need us to set an example that we are allowed to demand better from men, and that we can be happy on our own if no man can meet our standards.
Stay magnetic, ladies, and happy Valentine's Day! ❤
I've always been the go-to-friend as well. I remember many years ago when my then best friend moved to another country and frequently called me at 4 am (!) to talk about the problems with her husband, when I had to work the next day. It was also very one-sided in the sense that whenever I had a problem or wanted to talk about something, she immediately interrupted me with "oh yes, I've experienced the same thing this one time" and so it was immediately about herself again.
Same thing with my aunt, I was there for her for years when she wanted to talk about her relationship problems. Now I rarely hear from her anymore. I guess I am only good enough to be contacted when people want to offload their problems onto me.
With a lot of self-reflection and therapy I have realized that it's because of my home and how I grew up. Whatever I did or wanted was either ridiculed or not good enough, so I internalized "I must 'provide' for people to be worthy." It's not easy to get rid of that mindset, but I am trying my best.