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I have no problem with this statement IF it isn't translating into:
"I have no looks, no figure, no money, no charm, no social skills, no [insert whatever you want here] -- so I hope they will at least like me for my personality."
And what kind of personality are we speaking of here?
The bigger person.
The hardworking one.
The warmest heart.
The endlessly forgiving one.
The martyr.
The one who "never" gets angry and always happy.
The one who always make sure everybody else is comfortable first.
The one who loves kids and always happy to look after someone else's (for free).
The one who sympathizes deeply and always lend a helping hand.
The one busying herself in the kitchen making big batches of food while everybody is out front laughing and waiting.
And on and on and on -- add your own version.
Whether those personalities are truly your own or you adopt them as a persona/coping mechanism -- I don't care, you do you.
But what I do care is that none of these "personalities" are of any benefit to you.
Look, I am a self-prioritizing woman.
I do not concern myself about the "right" or "wrong" way of doing things -- so if you want to argue with me, expect to be ignored. I don't give a sh*t.
Neither do I concern about whether I am "good" or "bad" -- I am neither, I am simply human. They cool with me, I'm cool with them sort of deal.
I don't care what you think of me, I don't do compassion so don't go looking for it here.
But lucky for you, I am born a woman. So I care about you as a fellow woman.
So, as a fellow woman, hearing that damned "I hope he will like me for my personality" knowing it is code for "I have nothing else to offer, so I hope he will find me useful" enrages me to no end.
Because you are begging them to treat you nicely by offering yourself up as a tool.
If you want to be a HVW -- people will not see you as having a "great personality".
People will say you are rigid at best, a f**king b***h at worst.
Because a woman who ruthlessly exercise her boundaries and standards, and self-prioritize herself radically -- is the literal villain in a society where women are condemned to be the "bigger person" until the end of their lives.
So don't be surprised when people start HATING you on sight once you start levelling up -- because you dare to care about yourself more and treat yourself better -- instead of coddling their insecure ass and praising them endlessly.
You will be hated like you've never been hated before.
So I recommend you leave that incessant need to be seen a the "kind, good" person and get used to being the "evil" one.
Yes, it won't feel good -- it will be downright brutal and you would have to cut so many people off and found yourself completely alone -- but it is necessary.
Becoming a HVW and levelling up is not an "aesthetic" -- you won't get millions of people clapping for you and "sending you hugs and love ❤❤❤";
It is more like you gonna start calling yourself Babushka and go live in a decrepit house up a snowy mountain.
But it is necessary.
If you want to be someone who is so free and so precisely living life on her own terms -- you gotta get used to not give a sh*t.
Even within the FDS circle.
Because sometimes it is just a simple case of you both came from two very different inner world and both engage in a battle of "who is more right and who is more wrong?"
Who gives a sh*t.
Just SAY what you want to SAY and leave. Not like they gonna pay you bills with dem argument.
Your inner world will speak to your tribe, their inner world will speak to theirs -- so agree to disagree and bail.
Becoming high value is not about becoming the most amazing character revered and beloved by the masses -- it is about becoming so free and and so truthful to yourself, that even when the whole world is against you, you are at peace.
It is about becoming so free and truthful with yourself, that others that observe you will quietly allow themselves to be free and truthful with themselves.
For the society that you live in right now -- this is evil.
So you will never have an "amazing personality". You are "evil", and they will hate you with everything they have.
So be evil, and be free.
Stay safe, Stay WOMAN.
Yes!!!! I’m a rich, leveled up, ruthlessly self-protective 49 yr old and yes, many people hate me. I’m considered selfish for not babysitting others kids, saying no to sitting on committees and boards, walking away from people who dont enhance my life. I cut people out with no compunction.
It’s fine! Because at the same time I’ve developed some wonderful friendships with strong women. These women wouldn’t spend time with ME if I were a pickme!!
Leveling up can be lonely at first but as you cut out the LV people you attract HV people.
I’m not on social media but 41 people wished me a happy birthday the other day because while lots of ppl hate me, others respect me and like me.
My life is so fucking good not spending my energy serving others unless I choose to.
Highly recommend being a hot, rich, older bitch!!
Basically. I set my boundaries and I don’t let people walk all over me. To other women it’s inspiring, to men it’s me taking myself “too seriously,” being a bitch, a nag, and other lame insults. I’d rather be admired by women and hated by men than have it any other way.
Uhg I needed this today. This gave me life. Thank you, Definitely have been dealing with some hate lately. I'm trying to take on the 'Ok, I will be the villain in your story, bye' mentality. "For the society that you live in right now -- this is evil."
Great points all around.
You've kinda clarified something that hasn't been sitting right with me about the "match their energy" advice that's floating around. Leaving and finding people who value the same things as you will serve you better than getting stuck trying to match people who rub you the wrong way (and you probably rub them the wrong way too)
I made a comment on a YouTube video yesterday about how gyms used to be for lifting weights not taking videos of yourself and talking to yourself like you're a Schizophrenic. A guy replied to me, "I bet you're not like the other girls." Men don't see us as human beings, so why bother having a "good" personality? No matter what you've done in your life or have accomplished, they only care about the vag. And they say this to us all the time in many different ways. So focus on what YOU want to do in your life, and yes, get used to being "evil" and matching men's energy. Because they don't really like us except for what we can do for them.
At this point, I need your posts and teachings to be permanently ingrained into my brain
It’s so draining having felt like I needed to prove that I was worthy and so so kind and understanding to people who would straight up bully me/ insult me?? Growing up as a woman, the world makes you feel like theres something wrong with you from the start so that you’ll scramble to bend over backwards for them.
When really there‘s something wrong with THEM.
It’s so freeing when you realize that and never let them leech off you in any way again
In highschool I had a friend who was overweight. At one point, she was absolutely crushed by a rude comment some girl made about her weight. She made it her goal to be so ultra nice to everyone that no one would dare make fun of her again. She would talk about this with me, but no one else knew. She succeeded and was even voted "biggest sweetheart" for yearbook. So I guess it kinda worked for her... but at what cost? We lost touch years ago, and I always wonder if she's still putting on this charade- going out of her way, getting walked all over... and all just to avoid having to hear a cutting remark. So sad, this society we live in.
Past me felt this. Also, how sad of a society do we live in today where a compliment toward someone's personality inherently implies homeliness? I appreciate how you connect the dots as to how women feel pressured to be pickmes/martyrs to "compensate" for a perceived flaw. I think a lot of ladies are tired here like me. I'm exhausted looking back at all the times I felt like I had to apologize for some unchangeable part of my body, having a need, expressing myself in an appropriate way, and just existing. Even with aging, someone pointed out women who are older feel the need to have an apology-laden servile personality for....not dying?? I cannot in this clown world. Appreciate you
I had super gorgeous friends in highschool but was the "funny one". Then in college I got really ridiculously good looking and still am to date. (Not even being vain it's just objectively true). Despite being really funny guys will still say things like " you're the funniest girl I know." Like no I'm actually the funniest person you know but you don't want to admit a woman is the funniest person you know.
i feel like men only care about if you’re hot or not. everything else doesn’t matter. if you aren’t seen as fuckable to them, they don’t care about u. really crzy
it reads like a handbook post! 😘
💯 Be evil. Get money. Leave his ass. Worry about yourself!!! ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
This post gives me LIFE!
Imagine if employers and universities accept you just because you are a nice person. You either have a lot of money to set up your own business and bribe universities or you got enough skills and meet the requirement to be accepted. Same with women, You either have a lot of money to have the woman turn a blind eye towards your incompetence or you make yourself useful with your skills.
If you have no money, If you are not a man who defends and provides then you deserve nothing.
And nobody should be happy to look after other kids for free, What has the mother done for you to earn that privilege? "I'm tired" is not a good reason. Not just with women but with single papa's too,