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Especially in a male-dominated space. I think these men are super bold with their rage because there's only men around them so they can all work together to be dicks.
Basically I went to this new male dominated sports place alone and the guy on reception decided to hate me from two seconds in (I did nothing). He was outright rolling his eyes and asking me invasive questions trying to get to me. There was no one around at the time so he had a lot of deniability. He notably refused to say the usual explanation of where things are, where to change and so on.
On the way out I asked him where to return my kit and he was super patronising about me not figuring out where to put it. He was like "hmmm... hmmm... do you think it could be over there? Probably, right? What do you think?" Like he was full of rage at me for existing. Because I'm a DA victim of this exact type of guy, this similar behaviour automatically causes my adrenalin to kick in.
Now I'm worried to go back to the sports place, which I guess was his intention. I just know he's going to be worse every time.
If you really like the sport, you should still go and intentionally piss him off every time. Like really get on his nerves for the hell of it lol
This is something I do to men that piss me off lol
I agree. Go somewhere else and write a SCATHING online review. Also call the manager or owner and report his ass.
What a jerk. I hate when people are rude for no reason. Is there a different sports place you can go? I wouldn't want to frequent a place when the receptionist acts like that.
Here's my approach:
1. Do you have to deal with him?
a. If no, then don't. Walk away, avoid, and forget.
b. If yes, then ask:
2. Is he in a position of power over you?
a. If no, then deal with him any way you damn well please. If you're naturally loud and confrontational, get loud and confrontational. If you're naturally petty and back-stabby, get petty and back-stabby. Write bad reviews, report him to the manager--hell, report the whole place to the Better Business Bureau. Do what you like.
b. If yes, then do the bare minimum you need to get through your interactions with him. Grey rock.
I don't know how important it is for you to keep going to this sports place. If you really want/need to keep going there, just grey rock in your interactions with him.
Or just ask him in a calmly manner why is he so irritated. And walk away before he answers.
If you can help it, please try not to go to these places alone or let someone in your support network (girlfriends/family) know as soon as you feel the adrenaline rush. When that stress response kicks in, it is that much harder to think clearly, so the key with these men is to prevent your psyche getting thrown off balance in the first place.
Unfortunately the typical response to questions like this is to have a good man keep you company so you're more protected from this horrible behavior, but from an FDS perspective it's our responsibility to ALWAYS be in extreme discernment with where we spend our time. I would suggest you listen to your intuition more and LEAVE at the first alarm bell. I do not think you should have stayed in this establishment after you noticed the receptionist treating you this poorly. The world should not be about dealing with men; you have the power to leave them altogether. Please stay safe, especially as a DA survivor. We are much more vulnerable to being taken advantage of by men like that receptionist.