Dating and relationship should be a SUBSET of your LIFE - not the other way around

You LIFE should be your main focus - and it consists of many subsets (friends, family, hobbies, skills, knowledge, adventure, fun, charity, pet, spiritual) including dating/relationship. All subsets should have relatively similar percentage of importance to you.

No subsets will take such a giant portion, that everything else get shoved to the basement. Ladies, you do NOT revolve your life around dating and relationship - that man should be part of your life, and not literally the center of your universe.

And yes, this is a dating strategy. A dating strategy as a woman, as a chooser, as an immovable mover, as a HVW, as a QUEEN.

Understand that when you are the party that choose;

• You do NOT running yourself rugged chasing that man - no matter what kind of men. YES, even HVMs.

• You do NOT care what he thinks. You only care about improving yourself and becoming better than the you from yesterday.

• You do NOT chase after people's praises and validation. You accept compliments graciously yes, but you recognize that it is simply a nice gesture - not oxygen.

• You do NOT just sit there making yourself crazy with sadness, anxiety, resentment, anger, annoyance, disappointment etc. when the man turns out to be LVMs. You calmly walk away, block, delete, and move on.

• You are NOT burdened by stupidity and drama, you simply extricate yourself from them. Leave the crabs in the bucket - you understand that you can't save everybody and it is not your responsibility. Only life itself can teach people the lesson they need.

Do try to understand that dating as a HIGH VALUE person is different than your typical dating scene. High value people aren't interested in romeo-and-juliet-ing their relationship. They are people with complete, busy, purposeful life that are looking for a partner to share that life with.

We all came to this earth alone and more than likely will die alone, so we have the responsibility to live our life with a purpose. HVMs live by this rule too.

The one thing that concerns me since forever is just how obsessed our society is with relationship - it is all people think and talk about all the bloody time. Even older people, who you would think know better - all they ever talk about is "Have you got a boyfriend?", "When are you getting married?", "How about this guy?" yada yada yada.

It is one thing to tease a teenager's crush - but when the first question out of their mouth is "Have you found a boyfriend?" instead of "Are you well?", and every conversation becomes my husband this, my boyfriend that, oh this guy is cute what do you think blah blah blah;

It is like we live just to talk and think and pursue dating and relationship. Nothing else bloody matters. If that is not chronic obsession, I don't know what to call it.

Society will always try to convince you that you will "die/worthless/invalid/something is wrong with you" blah blah when you aren't in a relationship. No, you are not. The one who got something wrong with them is the society - what's with their creepy obsession with relationship.

Remember that patriarchy thrive on chaining a woman to be a man's servant. So they brainwash us since little to be desperate for a relationship with a man.

FDS wants you to enter a relationship that gives you net positive and more - and that means you have to get out of that brainwashing, that fear, that anxiety, that desperation - and rebuild your understanding of relationship. What your goal of a relationship entails, and reject anyone who doesn't fit your goal.

Yes, date. Give signals. Smile. When the opportunity comes to you - take it. Enjoy the romance. But also remember that you have a life before this man, and will continue to live your life after this man. So if this subset of your life starts to give you stress, problem, tears, pain, agony - you got the picture - you start planning your exit. No ahh and umhs and doubting yourself - you just move.

Because you have a life to live and conflict in one subset doesn't mean the earth suddenly stops moving.

Yes, do allow yourself to nurse the hurt - but also remember that the end of a relationship is not the end of your life. It should not debilitate you to the point of you start being resentful or worse, toxic to people around you.

It is quite insulting really, that all the other subsets of your life you painstakingly build over the years suddenly don't matter anymore because of this one guy.

Even when you get married, you both should design this relationship subset to work in tandem with all the other subsets (and future subsets like children, career change) of both your lives - not neglecting everything else and focus solely on it. You do not want a codependency - that's not healthy.

You should enter a relationship with purpose ladies. If he is more pain than he is worth - just drop him. Stop gaslighting yourself into staying with someone who will definitely be worse as time goes on. That sunken cost fallacy is a LIE. You only have one life to live, your time is limited - so stop wasting it.

Stay safe.