Sunday Reflections (Nov 20th)- Accountability Thread

I'm the kind of person who often avoids things and lives in denial. I'm trying to make strides to do better. I took some steps this week to improve my credit, for instance. I'm looking into possibly getting a different job or at least learning about another field. I need a work from home job because I take care of a parent. I don't know if it will work out, but I'm proud of myself for looking into other options beyond the job I have right now.

I also was more proactive about managing my anxiety. I'm learning more about the nervous system and vagus nerve. For much of my life, I've been in fight or flight mode, always stressed, and it's like I'm always anxious in some way. I want to do a better job recovering from stressful events, listen to my body, and implement practices for calming and soothing myself.

I didn't meditate as regularly as I should have, and I've been struggling to drink more water. So, those are areas I need to work on.

Last night I was at a bar for a couple of hours, and a guy who I'd talked to twice came in late and saw me and was like "oh hey!" as I was basically on my way out, and I just said "hey how's it going?" and kept walking over to pay my tab. He kept looking at me like he expected me to sit down next to him and just talk. Not only was this the dude I mentioned earlier that didn't know my name (I don't remember him once asking) nor did he ask for my number, etc. lololol guys just think we'll drop everything for them, don't they? I think he was surprised that I just essentially ignored him. lmao. As I left I called my mom as she'd just gotten back from a trip and we had a short conversation. I was on my way back to my car, walking past a few more bars on the street, and it was only 9 pm, but that didn't stop a few men from seeing me walk alone and they tried to get my attention. I walked right past them (still on the phone, actively) and thankfully got to my car safely, but jeez. Imagine if women just randomly walked up to men and acted brash the way they do to us.

My goals were studying 60 chinese characters, 300 vocabulary and 4-5 episodes of jdrama or anime. I was able to study around 45 characters, 0 vocabulary and watched 3 episodes and one movie😅 Looks like i gotta try harder

I finished my anatomy and physiology class early like I wanted to! So relieved. Plus, I only have one more project to finish for my nutrition class and then that one will be finished early as well. My interview went well and I was offered a job but I don't want to accept it unless I become desperate. The wage they're offering is lower than I was hoping for and the front desk lady seemed fake as hell. I witnessed her being passive aggressive towards a client and those are just not the vibes I'm looking for.

My speed bump was looking at my bank account and seeing how little money I have left to last me through the rest of this month and next month. It's EXTREMELY tight. My financial situation right now is totally fucked. In July I finally made the decision to break up with my verbally abusive boyfriend of 4 years. We have been living together in this house that I bought (it's in my name) we picked out together, thinking we'd be together long-term. So now I'm stuck with an expensive mortgage, living alone in a house that is WAY too big for me that I'm in no way ready to sell. On top of that, I quit my job in August to go to school full-time to finish my education so that I can begin my new career. My old job paid really well and had great benefits but was physically and mentally eating away at me. My new career will require me to work a second job to make ends meet because I won't be getting paid as much and 30 hours is considered full-time. So yeah, needless to say, I am STRESSED. lol

My goal to address this is to finish all of my classes as early as possible and start working as soon as I can so I can get back to having an income! I've got to get the first job lined up before I can find the second one, so that's my biggest goal. I have another interview tomorrow which I'm not super excited for based on the job listing, but it will be good experience anyway. Hopefully they have better energy. I also have a job interview on Tuesday that I am actually thrilled about because it pays well and has opportunities for advancement. I had a phone interview with them that went very well so I am looking forward to the practical interview. So after those two interviews, I'm just going to go ham on schoolwork. My goal for the end of this week is to have all of my kinesiology homework done and turned in and to finish the last project for my nutrition class. Then I'll be done with nutrition and all I will have left for kinesiology is to study for the final.