Sunday Reflections (Aug 14th)- Accountability Thread

This was a really tough week for me. But I think I did few things right. Goal is recovery in general (health wise, physically mentally and socially).

I ate enough food (sounds weird I know but lately I'm just not hungry most of the times). I did succeed in not isolating myself. I saw a few friends and hanged out even though I was extremely fatigued.

I think my win for this week is that I saw my ex while hanging out and I felt nothing. I'm not sure I'm over it yet but I feel like I'm a little more ahead than I thought.

Speed bumps: While I "did" all the right things, I found it extremely hard to self soothe and comfort myself. I relapsed in the feeling of hopelessness that I'll never get better and while I've done a great job on changing that lately, this past week I sucked at it. I hope I can blame it on the raging PMS.

As for the strategy, I have to find a way to remind myself vividly of the times that I feel much better and almost "fine". Cause I tend to forget those altogether.

I ate pretty well this week but didn’t make it to the gym much if any. Grief just stops me in my tracks. Back at it tomorrow. I want to start prioritizing going to bed earlier, getting up early. I have tons of energy in the morning and it decreases as the day goes on. I’m spending 3-4 hours in the gym working on walking so I also need to shop for snacks and do some cooking. Might as well make stuff at home and bring with me to save money.

This week I managed to read before bed everyday. Ngl, some days I just did it 'cause I'd have to confess here if I didn't 😂 But that's good. I switched to a more entertaining book, and now is just a matter of making it a habit. It's a slow process, but I didn't get addicted to my phone overnight. I think I did integrate the workout program in my routine, at least it's feeling more natural than the week before. The reading and the working out are really making a difference. I've been sleeping straight til morning, no waking up in the middle of the night. Probably because of that, I'm looking healthier (the dark circles around my eyes are softer).

Last week was really good! I went to the aquatic center twice, I applied for a bunch of jobs, I talked to a few recruiters, I took myself out to a nice dinner (I used to go to these events with my ex, so I almost talked myself out of going but I went anyway!), I hung out with a friend, I tried ROCKCLIMBING (I'm scared of heights!) and I went to a full moon meditation at my yoga studio :) I'm also working at having a more positive attitude at work and not letting everything stress me out there and it's working, maybe?

My speed bump this week was putting things off because they seemed TOO manageable and then they didn't get done, like my daily journaling and messaging my knee surgeon. So, I'm trying to tackle things head-on this week by making a to-do list for the next day and tackling things more head-on!