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I don’t know if this is relevant because a lot of women here are high achieving career women and thats wonderful too but having a career isn’t for me. Neither are children and probably not even marriage either. It makes me feel like an alien on this planet though.
Let’s be honest here: working a 9-5 f*cking blows. I hate having to work full time just to survive. It’s such a scam. 5 days out of the week is such a soul sucker especially on my time and energy. I’m also neurodivergent and wonder if that has to deal with my lack of energy but after working my ass off for several years and seeing little reward, I am so burned out. Yeah, I’ve tried the whole ~girlboss small bizz~ lifestyle too and tried to make my art a business and while I started making decent money it soon fizzled out when the pandemic hit and took my passion for art along with it. But at least I tried 🙃
I don’t have a degree either. Even school brought out so much in anxiety in me especially due to a lot of bullying. I feel a lot of pressure from family and society to go back to school when I don’t care about any career field and I don’t want to be in debt.
I simply hate working with a passion no matter what job it is. Does that make me not a HVW?? I at least live well below my means, save up, live a minimalist lifestyle and have good credit. Still doesn’t feel like its enough.
I just feel really drained and kinda hopeless. I want to just have a simple, childfree, scrotefree peaceful life surrounded by my pets, art, music and get as much sleep as I want. Thats it. I‘m sick of feeling pressure everywhere to always achieve, achieve, ACHIEVE. Like no, I want to simply enjoy my own existence!!
I relate to this so much. To me, art makes life worth living. I want huge bookshelves, and I want time to read all the books. I want to watch films and go to museums and have conversations in coffee shops and write and do things with friends. I want to sit in a garden for hours and just enjoy being alive. I want to live in a world that actually values life and self-actualization. Instead, we live in a capitalistic hellscape dominated by men obsessed with war, violence, and destruction. One day, I'd like to have some kind of meaningful work, but it will require me to go back to school, which is not an option right now.
I feel every word you wrote in every fiber of my being. No, feeling this way does not disqualify you from being a HVW. The problem is that our society is garbage and doesn't value life or beauty. I believe most people feel similarly. There is nothing normal or natural about how each and every one of us are living our lives. There is a shift in collective consciousness that is currently underway and you are a part of it. That's all it means, I think.
I don't think being a high earning woman = high value. I don't think men who make good money are automatically high value either. I think a lot of us are burnt out, our society is structured to do that to us. We aren't failures for it.
Pursue the lifestyle you want with tenacity and creativity.
Same, I don't want to be a "girlboss" (I hate that term). I just want to do whatever. Don't care about being rich. I want to be comfortable and have good relationships/connections. I want a garden and a sunroom and a small library. I want to go to shows, play guitar, draw, whatever, and not have to live up to someone else's expectation for me.
I am a professional woman, a high achiever. I love what I do - my work is about making the lives of others a little less miserable, so l derive a sense of connection from it and generally quite a bit of satisfaction. And at the same time I relate to your beautiful dream a lot. I keep dancing close to burnout with the intensity of my work, and couldn’t give a hoot what others would say if I decided to live a simple life with art and books. In fact, I’m hoping to be able to reduce my work quite a bit in the next few years to be able to do just that, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to just give up work before I retire. One of the reasons I am a high achiever isn’t necessarily because I had some sort of career vision (I still don’t, I just take the next logical step), is because I had a childhood of relentless violence inflicted by my parents and I knew that education is the only way out and getting away from them as far as possible.
This is 1000% me. I'm your twin lol
In my family tree my great x3 grandma had a "spinster" sister who had her own house & greenhouse on their farmland, and I've always joked that I wish that could be me. Imagine being able to live and do as you please within your own abilities and live off the land (or barter for anything you need, whatever). For whatever reason everyone interprets this as wanting to be a housewife...
I think HV is as much about your views, conduct, interactions with others, etc as it is about all the other things. You can still be LV with high social status and lots of money, just look at a lot of celebrities.
I feel you.
My dream is a small cottage somewhere where I can garden, read, bake, have chicken and maybe goats and live peacefully surrounded by nature. I don't need much.
The problem is that this is unaffordable for me with the property prices and cost of living here, even in remote areas. I grew up poor and have no inheritance or anything to plan with. Nothing. I sure as hell won't rely on someday finding a man who is not a scrote and rich enough to pay for that kind of lifestyle for me.
If I want anything resembling my dream above I need to earn every cent for that myself. My current plan is to work my ass off until I have enough to buy the cottage of my dreams, invest enough to generate a decent amount of dividends and then retire (or at least work less) as early as possible.
I'm not a career woman by choice, I am a career woman by necessity. In this world having your own money means independence and safety and the option to follow your dreams. Having your own money means not having to rely on your family or a scrote to live the life you want.
Honey, me too! I don't dream of labor!
When I worked in education, I learned how often employers mistook my compassion for free labor. From then on I reclaimed my time and never let them have a piece of my soul again. Once I was out that door I was gone. That's how jobs should be. Jobs have no business consuming our minds and keeping us up at night lol.
Go your own way and it'll pay off. If you need to change course you can do that 🙂
Please don’t buy into society’s external ideas of success. I tried to satisfy society’s standards for HVM and I worked myself into illness by pushing myself too hard. I now want a peaceful life too, free from the pressures of corporate ladder climbing and drama!!!