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I need some loving wisdom SO badly right now.
My objectives: stay sober, have steady housing, break up with my abusive bf, and get into grad school.
My situation: I am with a shitty ass dude that I've been trying to leave for almost a year now and I've had quite a bit of misfortune this past semester. My grades are good but I've missed labs and exams due to either being in the ER or hospitalized and I am missing 5 days of school again due to having Covid. I have documentation for all of this but I really feel that my professors are at the end of their ropes with me and dont believe me anymore. This is giving me MASSIVE anxiety and makes it almost impossible for me to log into my school email or go onto my class pages because I am so terrified of seeing a message from my professors saying theyre going to flunk me. It is utterly paralyzing. Plus, as you can probably tell from all my excused absences, my health is pretty shitty rn and it's really stressful. However, I'm on the mend which is good.
But I still don't know what to do for housing/schooling after this semester. I did 2 years at 2 different community colleges (both were great) and then transferred to this university to finish my bachelors. This is the absolute worst school I have ever been to in my life. I've had profs cancel class for a month straight, decide to change exams to cover more chapter than what the syllabus said (WTF?!), show up to class and NEVER TEACH, or show up and just read off the slides. Unfortunately, the last professor is my favourite because he's the only one thats somewhat competent. But I'm really struggling at this school. My mental health is in the trash because of how shitty and inconsistent the profs are and it takes so much more time and energy to do well in my classes than it should. I actually had to drop 2 classes and am down to 12 credits a semester. I'm used to doing 18-19 credits a semester with a 3.9 GPA and having it be easy. 12 at this school still manages to be challenging. It's not even considered a good school.
What I want to do is transfer to a different school. I do very well in small towns at small schools in rural areas so I found a uni in my state that seems perfect for me. In an area surrounded by forest and lakes and is literally the smallest university in my state. The only con is that housing is a bit expensive and they don't offer my minor (French) so I would have to switch my minor to Spanish (which is technically fine. I have almost taken 10 years of each, I just would have preferred to graduate with a French minor) and take on a bit more debt. Or I could suck it up and continue at my current school, but then I feel like it would be so stressful that I would graduate late and with more debt. Plus I wouldn't have the bandwidth to take do internships which is important for grad school. OR I could go overseas and finish my degree online and achieve fluency in my target language via immersion. Housing and food is cheaper there as well which is a plus. And I would be a continent away from my bf. But again, it's still a shitty school and I wouldn't be able to do internships online (I think). This strategy has worked well for me before in the past and its how I was able to stay sober for a year. It was also the time I had the most stable housing since I've basically been couch surfing since I became homeless at 17. I'm 23 now and pretty tired of this lifestyle tbh.
I know this was a lot and that it probably seems like my priorities are out of whack since I should be focusing on getting stable housing, getting out of my abusive relationship, and staying sober. But I only have 3 semesters left and I'm SO close to finally getting a stipend and having a stable place to live and go to school. I'm currently in therapy, see my psych NP and family DR regularly, and I'm on top of all my responsible adult shit except for these issues that have been really holding me back. I would deeply appreciate any feedback. Thank you for your time and consideration.