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This will be my final post on here and my goodbye. This forum no longer upholds original FDS principles as others have pointed out so I'm redirecting my energy and time elsewhere, to content and places that do bring benefits to my life. If you won't read the handbook, at least read this list I've written and put together.
It's taken me several years to deprogram myself of any pickme or people pleasing tendencies. However, doing so has saved my life and so this is what I've learned and integrated from FDS, other high value women and my life experiences:
Your feminine presence should instantly weed out low value people especially predators. They don’t even get to exist as a background character in your own life. They are repelled by you and your high level of self respect and standards.
You should always be financially independent and financially literate. Always have most of your liquid assets in a high yields savings account or two. Invest in your education and secure yourself a high paying, high quality career. Always be ready to leave a man knowing you have a safety net.
Be high maintenance. You take pride in taking the best care of yourself: your body, mind and beauty. You consume healthy food and healthy content for your brain. You understand that stress correlates with poor health especially as a woman. You do what you can to ensure you glow from within and out.
You don’t compromise anything for anybody. Even the thought of having to bend over backwards for anyone should leave you nauseous.
You respect and value other women. After all, “by devaluing other women, you devalue yourself.” - Manifestelle
Solidarity in friendships with other high value women is priceless.
You don’t move your schedule around for anyone. You prioritize yourself first and foremost. A full, enriching life filled with your interests and passions needs to be cultivated then maintained.
It’s hard to gain access to you. People have to earn it and earn your trust. If anyone or any place gives you the ick or an unsettling feeling, always trust your intuition and leave. Your intuition will save your life as a woman, and you rely on that and your wits to keep yourself safe and exclusive.
You refuse to stay stagnant in any aspect of your life and being. You strive to learn, to nurture your mind and creativity. You prune any vapid or unhealthy content or habits. You embody your authenticity unapologetically.
You ruthlessly vet and cut off anyone or anything that doesn’t benefit you. Always block and delete at the first sign of disrespect.
You won’t hesitate to walk away from any failing relationship or friendship because you value and love yourself the most.
This post reminds me of these quotes. I believe they fit the FDS/level up mindset.
Life is too short to waste one single second with someone who doesn’t appreciate and value you.
You have no future in the past. Let it go, and move on.
Preserve and protect yourself and your energy at all costs.
Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.
Access to my energy is a privilege.
Self-respect. If you don’t have it, the world will walk all over you.
You don’t need a relationship to be complete. You are complete because of who you are, not who you are with.
Don’t be afraid to lose people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.
Know who you are. Know what you want. Know what you deserve. And don’t settle for less.
I couldn't agree more with those points. Hard lessons I've been learning in the last few years go along the same lines. Identifying and sticking to sources of levelling up like a career that challenges you and ensuring your financial freedom are paramount. They teach you to be focused on yourself and meeting goals you've set for yourself. As women, we are taught to spend too much energy on everyone else. This is how we end up giving to everyone and having nothing left for ourselves. A balanced approach to loving those who love you, maintaining self-worth and contributing value to the world as a manifestation of your contentment and aspirations for a happier world is key. So take care, as it's clear to me you're onto something 😊 Best wishes.
Thank you for the gift of a HV post before you move on. I enjoyed reading your sensible viewpoints. Good luck in your future, Queen :)
Thanks for the wise words, we'll miss you. This is what most posts here should be about, not drama which gives this place a bad image. Even I'm not sure if I'll stick around for much longer with all the best users leaving.
Thank you for all of the awesome leveling-up advice 🫂. I am honored to have met you and to have such a great friend. You are amazing and off to great places, Queen!!! I’m glad you’re doing what is best for you 🤍🤍🤍. You know I'm here for you always!!! 👑👑👑
I wish you all the best. It's been a pleasure to meet you here! I hope life is good.
I love the FDS handbook. X)
Hey girl, I get it. I've been prioritizing my time elsewhere and have no regrets. It's been time.
Anyway, it's been a pleasure following your posts. Good luck in school, I'm rooting for you!
The worst mistakes I made that affect me still were made in my 20's and often around either bad men or having bad boundaries. My instinct to be independent served me well but I forcibly cut off some useful help along the way. Ever since I shed my last terrible husband who lied, conned, used, abused and discarded me while still keeping a thether for 2 more years to me, I have been trying to make it work on my own. Men pursue me incessantly, but the men I am interested in rarely do or do so for short time. The few potentially HVM I dated I either dumped or dumped me and all of them married a woman with a huge trust fund. They all married up which makes me doubt my perception of them as high value. Even I had a trust fund but it was small and I was disowned after a protracted fight with my sisters scum bag husband who convinced my mom that I was the problem while he grifted. That man has zero value and I didn't even have to date him for him to ruin my family and parts of my life.
The idea of leveling up has been in my focus for 25 years. I have done better than some and worse than others. I have never reached a place of financial security or career stability that I have tried to reach all this time. A good husband would have made that better but such a thing is so rare that it's pointless to keep trying and risking all I do have. That's the real point here. Leveling up isn't really about being worthy of a HVM. It's about being able to support yourself and reducing your risks of being harmed by low value men. HVM exist but the demand for them far exceeds the supply. I have enough stability that low earning men and hobo sexuals still flock to me. I haven't dated for years. No man has made enough effort to give me a cause to want to date him. Men I meet think sex is a vending machine style activity. They see me, put a few flattery coins in and expect to get a little prize. The non stop presence of low effort men is so much that it has become white noise.
My sister married one of the worst men she could find. My daughter maried a horrible man who nearly killed her. Nothing I said discouraged her. I saw him for the problem he was from day 1. I couldn't protect her from her own bad judgement in spite of trying and seeing. When I was her age, I was just as dumb about men. My sister thinks keeping her one worthless husband around is an accomplishment. And it kind of is because he's a train wreck. It's not the kind of accomplishment I want to put my energy into.
Who you marry and who you have children with shapes your life. It can derail your life. Even if you don't have children or get married, dating and having relationships with men is still a lot of work. It too often has insufficient rewards. Anyone that finds a man that truly enhances her life, makes her feel appreciated and treats her with love and respect has won the lottery. I have nothing but joy for them. But it's a lottery and most of us lose just by playing. And that's very wrong. Society is in a very bad place when it reinforces such destructive men.
Forums like FDs aren't the problem. They either expose or hide the problem. I think FDS has exposed it.
I want to add that being a HVW is not a destination. Women doing their best will always be better than an average mediocre man half assing his way through life, even if he has more materially & financially. Women always have value.