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I saw a bartender I see sometimes around the area and I was going to ask her out but idk if she's gay. I saw her at the mall the other day in Ambercrombie and Fitch when I was making fun of the price tags with my mom and idk would it be weird to flirt with her next time I go to that certain bar?
I've gone to it twice by myself I believe but I feel like I've seen her at other bars. She smiles at me and treats the guys like shit. Maybe she's gay, idk.
I'm also worried I'm doing that thing that guys do where I see women as "an opportunity" instead of just letting them live their damn lives.
Plus I'm worried that if she says no or something I'll never be able to go to that bar again and that bar has GREAT STEAK and I will not sully that experience.
Maybe I should chill and not hit on her, I don't know anything about her, she's just lanky with dyed hair and a pretty face, idk maybe I'm just a creepy asshole (a cute one.)
I'll probably just give it time and eat there more before hitting on her.
Maybe find a way to hint that you're interested? I've been experimenting this year, and a lot more women than you'd think are bi, gay, demi, pan. Women want love, and women are more capable of love than men, so if you ARE hitting on her, it's probably not going to be anywhere near as predatory as a dude doing it.
If you're going to hit on her, I'd say do it after you've been able to talk to her more at the bar. Right now you don't really like her for anything other than superficial traits. I'm not saying you would be creepy if you hit on her but you will feel creepy, which will result in lack of confidence. Also don't feel like you can't go to the bar ever again if she rejects you. Just try to remain calm if that happens.
I might get downvotes but please don’t do it while she is at work. It’s annoying when men hit on women when she is working and just trying to do her job and it’s the same with a woman too. We just want to do our job and not have to think about someone who is flirting with them. It puts a lot of pressure on some of us and especially with those who have forms of social anxiety…
I think the best route is to put your number down with a flirty message and give it to her on the receipt or paper So she can call or text you.
I'd take things slow and maybe strike up a friendly conversation with her, as long as she isn't too busy with orders/other customers. Perhaps you could ask if there's a good drink she recommends or ask her what dish is a good one to order and if she's feeling it she will probably be chatty and see how it goes from there. I would just take it slow so then you can keep coming back and get to know her a little more over time. This way you can feel her out before just giving her your number, If she doesn't seem interested then it's not too awkward and you're just a friendly customer.
Having worked in retail, it's actually nice to have friendly regulars to chat with.
It's hard to approach people when they're working, dude that works neat my job came over the other day but saw I was busy and said hi and that was about it.
You could try asking her to an activity then sussing it out while doing said activity? If it fails, you could claim it was an attempt at finding an activity partner, but it goes well, you could find yourself with a new gf
Or Maybe I shouldn't, I should just let her live her damn life. I honestly want to pay off my debt before I start dating again, it just feels dirty having both dating trauma and debt lmao