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I recently discovered I can be attracted to women after coming across a wlw story. I now fantasise about having a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend but I don't know if this has to do with me wanting to escape from LVM Should I try to date women? I understand women can be LV too and I don't know if my attraction to women is real (I saw myself as straight in the past and I think it is very hard to suddenly change your sexual orientation). I also think my parents are homophobic and they will probably frown upon me being in a relationship with a woman regardless of how HV she is.
Also, how can I meet other wlw? I think we all know about how online dating is full of LVM and I don't know if it is different for wlw. There are no lesbian bars in my area.
If you want to date women or expirement with them PLEASE be honest. A lot of lesbians don't want to be someone's experiment. But that honesty would go a long way. Most of the women I met that were also lesbians or bisexuals were in person in random settings. Personally online is a hit or miss. I've spoken to other women but they just weren't on that level yet so it never went anywhere.
The fact that you keep reiterating you want to try dating women because you are tired of dealing with LVM makes me suspect you are not actually into women (in the sense that you will enjoy dating women). Bi and lesbian women are not into women because of anything having to do with men. They are into women because they are into women. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try dating a woman that you meet and genuinely desire. But otherwise I don't think you will be able to rationalize your way into bisexuality just because lots of guys are disappointing.
Also, someone here mentioned women are hypersexualized in general, so just because you might find the idea of dating a woman attractive, it may not really mean much since we have all been conditioned to see women that way.
Finally, a warning: some of the absolute WORST divorces I've handled have been between women. Horrible, horrible, evil, vindictive stuff. Women have a certain shared sense of intimacy that men lack (which can make dating men disappointing) but that shared sense of intimacy can really make breakups even more devastating and nasty. I have had clients experience soul shattering devastation in these break ups in a way that failed relationships with men can't even begin to approach. All of that just to say, relationships in general, whether gay or straight, are many times disappointing and awful so don't rely on simply switching the sex of who you date to assuage your disappointment in dating.
I'm in a similar situation. Some things I've understood:
- if there are no gay bars, online dating is the best option. However, be careful, check if they have 'verified' symbol, don't send picture to someone you haven't met because there are creeps posing as women on the sites.
- be honest about your intentions. Your best bet initially probably is bisexual women as a lot of them are also just seeing what is out there and trying to figure stuff out - so you can do that together.
- be prepared that no one makes the first move without making it perfectly clear that the move is welcome. That was (and still is) the thing I struggle with most while I'm trying my chance with girls right now.
- also the sexualization of women is so prevalent in the society that you can find women attractive but not be able to be romantically involved with them. This I haven't completely figured out yet, but it's something worth thinking about.
Best of luck! It's worth trying it out if it means that you can avoid having to sift through the plague of LVM to find someone worthy. High value women are everywhere :)
Only if you truly want to. I feel equal SEXUAL attraction towards women as I do towards men. But I do NOT connect ROMANTICALLY with them the way I do with men. That’s why I do not date women “in that way”.
I’m thinking to date women too. I think I at least need a break from men and some real connection. I’ve given up with OLD as the women are similar to the men on it, but meeting any bi/lesbian ladies is difficult in real life. Other than late night bars, does anyone have suggestions of where to go?
Life is all about experimentation. You're overthinking.