Female only spaces and sexuality

I have a idea about female only spaces.

Subject 1) I have an acquaintance with (whom I keep minimal contact) who is a transwoman. I met them online when we took in new recruits for a gaming group (big mistake for so many other reasons). This person hid who they were at the beginning which is easy to do online, so they pretended to be a natal female right off the bat. Only later was it revealed that this person was trans.

Right from the beginning there was always something off about his sexuality. He identifies as a lesbian, but was very visual which I found odd. There were always masses of fantasy pictures being posted with anti-gravity boobs and minimal clothing. And what I like to call the sex pout - the facial expression you find on the front of glossy magazines when women are covered. Mouth slightly open, looking up demurely / sexually. It felt weird that a women posted these, and I usually said something about how absurd they were and how they overly sexualised every subject.

There were other signs, but I think that one stands out because of the sheer frequency of fantasy porn I was subjected to. It made me uncomfortable.

Subject 2) A fella who is out as bisexual though I suspect leans heavily towards male preference. I am perfectly happy and comfortable in his presence and enjoy long and thoughtful conversations with him. I know that even when we sometimes clash and get pissed off with one another, he will still have my back down the road. I am not sexualised by him.

Subject 3) A male work-friend. Not the worst, not the best. Just a generic LVM. I will say this for him; when he asked me out he respected my no, so in general he does not make me uncomfortable. But he doesn't know how to operate a washing machine (the buttons are very confusing, though he can competently operate the controls of a PlayStation) and admits if the transman in his household didn't do his washing his mum would have to. (Take note ladies - you can change sex and take T, but you will still be given the role of the housekeeper).

When I talk about my sea swimming there is a risk of being sexualised by him. He thinks it's being complimentary - because my getting changed on the beach (rather than dripping in my car) would be worth a sight worth seeing. I disagree. It would be really gross to have my HVW swimming group feel tainted by ogglers. I have a great hobby that does wonders for my body and soul, and I don't need a man's sexuality to impose on my enjoyment. I love that we are just bodies and I can change without being stared at. Or joke about going commando while wearing a skirt. Even typing that out seem risky and weird because I'm not at the beach with my friends.

The point I'm getting to. Of these men I know - MtF, mostly gay, and regular Joe, the one I am most comfortable sharing a space with is the one who doesn't sexualise me. I recall a post from here where a woman-only gym space had a gay couple and the women were perfectly happy with it.

So my realisation is what my women only safe spaces provide. I need a space where I can get away from the male gaze and the pressures and dehumanisation that comes with it. Any male who's gaze isn't on me doesn't affect my equilibrium. And I love my swimming group :)