Abuse in wlw relationships and any vetting strategies?

I think it’s probably going to be difficult to get advice from straight women about red flags because they might be different. The main piece of advice I can think of is to walk away at the first sign of abuse, and don’t become financially dependent on your partner. Don’t date people you work with. Don’t be dependent on your partner for all of your emotional or social needs.

I don’t have huge advice on this. However, I will say this: straight women need to stop idolizing WLW unions, and Queer ladies need to stop the “Are the straight okay?” jokes. They’re are not okay either. They were funny for one hot second.

I agree. Tho, the women who became my gfs were sweet enough, looking back I dated a LOT of toxic women. One was a u-haul lesbian who talked about marriage and moving in together after a single date. We went on another date and then her FRIEND said he couldn’t wait to see us married and I noped the fuck outta there. It was date two! We’d only met a WEEK ago! Psycho. Another lesbian who on our first -and only- date was taking pics and trying to kiss me in a fucking Olive Garden to make her ex jealous. She was on her phone the WHOLE time. She even picked up a CALL from her ex and had me talk into it! I was so embarrassed. I waited for her to get her uber home cuz I wasn’t about to just leave her, but yeah. That was awful. And then I dated a trans man who looked exactly like a woman and they planned a date (that I ended up paying for) to go skating when they couldn’t even skate! They kept falling down and hugging the wall. And then when I got frustrated cuz I can skate, I tried to get an attendant to teach them. Wrong move! They cursed me out and stormed off, literally giving a curse bc they were “witchy.” Like, I’ve had great girlfriends who were fun and not at all toxic, but I’d say that red flags are red flags. If they can’t hold a job, have a lot of mental issues, poor communication skills, no meaningful relationships outside of you, no meaningful hobbies, etc.

I date women as well but I'm not dating currently. When I do again I use the same FDS standards with a few tweaks (which I have made for myself in general, not just for women). The recent post of "minimum things a bf should do for you" or something with that title is a good indicator for the vetting standards I think!

I realize this post is almost a year old but there aren’t a lot of posts in the bi/lesbian section so I wanted to add a huge red flag for me that can occur in lesbian relationships - age or authority differences.

No, dating a women who is a different generation than you is not less creepy when you’re both women in my experience. 30 year olds do not need to date teenagers, I don’t care if shes the only other pretty lesbian in town Lol.

Alternatively if you’re similar in age but there a large authority disparity - like if your professor or your boss hits on you, it’s a huge red flag.…