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I came across this article in The Guardian with short snippets from women's lives around the world who wish they weren't mothers...just a timely reminder to really, really think about if you truly want children or if it's just the social conditioning, and if you do desire children, please be extremely selective in who you get pregnant by, especially with regards to the last story from the US 😪
On a personal note, I'm planning on becoming a single mother by choice (sperm donor) in the next few years if I don't find a quality man. It's certainly not my first choice and it's not at all romantic, but it sure beats being stuck with a Z/LVM who leaves me in the delivery room to play Call of Duty.
Women are expected to be long suffering about everything having to do with having kids. Every time I hear a woman talking about her traumatic pregnancy and birth experience, she always catches herself at some point and says “oh, but I would do it all over again if I had to”, as though they’re afraid other women will think ill of them if they don't tack that on. And they’re not wrong. Once I was in an elevator, where a woman was describing her horrific birth experience to another woman. At one point she said “it was the worst day of my life.” At which point the other woman immediately jumped in with “but also the *best* day, right?“ And the first woman stopped for a second, looked at her and very decisively said “No. it was just the worst.” And I found that so refreshing. I wanted to high-five her, but that probably would have been weird.
I was a mother before I had the realization that I could have chose not to be a mother. I blame social conditioning. I regarded it as natural and inevitable. So many things I did based on social conditioning it surprises me I went against some of it. I don't know if I would have chosen not to or just waited longer. I will never know.
Personally I only feel sorry for the women who didn't get an abortion because the place they lived in didn't allow them to.
Dr Jess Taylor discussed a similar subject matter recently on her podcast, The Wandering Womb. For all the mothers and even non-mothers on the sub, I suggest giving it a listen. The episode may be quite validating as she shares many grievances women feel afraid of verbalising for fear of being shunned or shamed. https://open.spotify.com/episode/75jbR497Pj6PCjUFh0anJL?si=t-KNrKW7RzelY5URo7efeg
I know that my husband would be a true partner in raising children, but I am still not feeling ready because of the exhaustion and selfless commitment that comes with it. I love children, but I don’t know if I can have them around 24/7 and still take care of myself the way I need to.
There’s also the concern of climate change always on the back of my mind, but that combats with the “Idiocracy” type of situation that I think is also going on. I’m in my early 30s and don’t have as much time to decide as I’d like, and originally planned to start trying after getting more travel in but the pandemic squashed those plans.
Regardless, my husband and I have decided that we will foster children later in life.
True. I realise if I’d stayed with my ex, I foresaw a future where he’d get into a custody battle with me and steal my kids. Forget that.