Just met a colleague who, pre-FDS, I would have been all over. Except now, I know that he's too flakey to be taken seriously.
He's:
turning 41 soon
lived abroad
gorgeous car
good looking
ambitious
very tall (so rare to meet a guy taller than me)
no kids (AMENNNNN)
never been married but had long term relationships
makes decent money; decent career
easy to talk to
acts like a man when out and about
doesn't online date, he asks out women in person
has complained about people being poly
Sounds great, right?
However... weeks away from 41 and he still doesn't know if he wants to move to another city (or which city it would be) or have kids. Like, huh? And he doesn't own his own place. I do, so should you, boy.
I don't know him well enough to know if he's HV, but that's not my problem.
The point is - Ladies, they do exist, but you won't find them on OLD.
My questions would be: Why didn't he marry any of the women he was in long-term relationships with? What was he waiting for? And yes, at that age, not knowing whether he wants kids or not is a big red flag. I think you're right about him being flaky. And this means he's not high value.
Too old, don't give old post wall men a chance, they didn't use their prime years properly by looking for a woman and start a family, Men can start a family any time but it's women who need to be picky because women are the ones who need to do most of the chores.
And old dude around 50 was asking if I have a boyfriend and he was sad that he didn't take the oppertunity to have many kids, well I'm not going to fulfull that dream for you.
Stop giving older men a chance, there is a reason why they are alone.
35 is where the sperm count drops, he's 41 so at 40 testosterone drops and at 25 their bones become less strong, you do't need his dusty sperm and have mentally challenged kids as an end product of that.
you don't need to be his care giver after 20 years of marriage.
Choose wisely because choosing out of love or convenience always end up bad.
Choose with your head.
At this point, any person who owns a nice car but not a home is a walking red flag to me. It's just poor investing and it also reeks of show-boating/faking wealth.
This plus all the other traits you listed about him not settling down and not knowing the answers to permanent life altering decisions just reaffirms my conclusion.
"never been married but had long term relationships"
Ding ding ding! We have a stringer.
That point alone should render him untouchable.
Ew.
It reminds me of the older man that groomed me. He has all the traits you listed. After years of not speaking, he 'superliked' me on Tinder. He's 48 and his profile stated "world traveler, no kids never married". Please, tell me more about how you have commitment issues and use women at your convenience.
(For the record, I do not have OLD now and never will again. And I rejected him when he swiped on me)