Made me chuckle

That reminds me of Cinema Therapy (on Youtube).

I think the therapist is great, but his cinema/hollywood bud, who he does the show with and who chooses the movies, always irked me in some way. When they watched Pride and Prejudice, in the presence of cinema dude's wife who loves the book, it was clear why: he was describing his attraction to the main character while his wife was sitting right next to him. As they were filming a video that's going out into the world. He even said "Sorry Meghan" right after he said that, but in a way of "sorry about that, I'm sure you inderstand".

Now I can't go back to watching their videos. I've tried.

Continuing the tangent a bit, this dude actually reminded me of Phil Dunphy. I've been rewatching modern family for the first time since FDS, and I recognize in Phil what I recognized in cinema dude as well: an entitlement to gawk and objectify women other than their partner, simply for their own pleasure.

Phil Dunphy is disgusting! I feel for his wife but I feel even worse for Gloria as she has to deal with his objectification and his wife’s misplaced resentment. Like if you’re going to mad at anyone be mad at your disrespectful husband. Or better yet just leave his sorry ass already!

Before I started dating my last ex, I explicitly told him I don’t like hearing men in relationships calling other women attractive. He did just that on the second day we became official, I reminded him about what I said, then he did it again. Acted like he “forgot”. That should have been my cue to leave but I didn’t respect myself back then and stayed. He would freak out every time he could hear a male voice next to me on the phone (most of the time it was a waiter or a guy fixing my internet), and one time he got mad at ME because another man made gross comments about my body. Yet I was the unreasonable one for asking that of him.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. This is why "cOmMuNiCaTe" doesn't work with men in hetero dynamics like R*ddit says. NVM/LVM take statements about boundaries as a challenge. It's very violating, IMO beyond the schoolyard Bully. Saying "hey don't do this" and the man taking it as an invitation to do it anyway is immature at best and sociopathic at worst. Misogyny at its "finest." 🤢 thankfully we have FDS to help us show boundaries by getting out of there...

Sorry but I'm 90% sure he was cheating and was projecting on you. Sounds like it

Personally, I don’t agree with any of the stuff you guys are saying. I’ve never experienced sexual attraction to another person while in a relationship. I think that’s totally not okay to find someone hot or arousing in a relationship even though you guys are trying to play it off "as innocent." If that happens it means something is going wrong in your relationship as plenty of other commentors said, which PROVES this behavior is normalized but not normal. The definition of sexual attraction means: "Attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s)." This means that finding people "hot" or "sexually attractive" does mean you have that type of desire for them. I'd argue even if you don't want to act on those feelings it's just weird to look at other people in a sexual way while in a relationship (in my opinion). I'd find it disrespectful if a partner felt that either way towards someone else while in a relationship

"If that happens it means something is going wrong in your relationship."

Nah. Youre wrong.

Edit: I deleted most of this comment

It’s NOT “impossible and stupid.” That’s personally how I feel in my relationships. Those are my boundaries in my relationship, so I don’t appreciate your defensive and dismissive response. I only have eyes for my partner in my relationship. I know other women who have felt the same as me so it’s not exclusive to me. It sounds like you’re taking this very personally. Other people in the thread stated when they had those feelings towards someone in a relationship, then their relationship was going downhill so it does prove a point to an extent. I didn't mean your exact relationship. I meant in general despite using the term "your". I cannot speak on your actual relationship because I know nothing about that. I never said you can't find people attractive in a relationship, but there's a difference between finding some hot and finding someone good looking. I wouldn’t want a relationship where my partner finds someone else sexually attractive or has a desire to sleep with others. That's a valid want on my end too

Facts. One guy I dated outright said that I was not as attractive as an actress I said I didn’t like (nothing about her appearance, I just didn’t like her acting) as a way to neg me and keep me around. We didn’t last a week.

My first thought was gender-swapped reboot joke. I am not interested in becoming the moid.

It's definitely unsettling to think about for sure, but in a way ignorance is bliss. As long as I never hear about it, I can cope. That includes "innocent" comments about actresses if we are casually watching a show or something--I would never think to comment on an actor I think looks good, so my partner better have the same integrity.

I think there are some men who don’t care about celebrities in general. I don’t really care about celebrities at all either. I can recognize some celebrities are good looking, but that’s as far as it goes for me so maybe you’ll find a man like that!

Yes, I'm the same way! I honestly don't even know what Brad Pitt looks like so I often tell people that I wouldn't know if I bumped into him on the street. I'm so out of the loop when it comes to pop culture and the media that it's difficult to connect with anyone these days. I just don't care for any of it and have never really found pleasure in watching movies/