.png)
So I've been dating on apps for the past 6 months-ish and it's been going fine enough (largely thanks to FDS), but I had to end things recently with a guy. He was super nice and had great dating etiquette but I noticed every now and then he'd insanely misspell shit, like I'm talking "potatoe" or "spacial" etc. It was unusual since he otherwise had great vocabulary range verbally, perfectly fine grammar, had a uni degree etc. but in any case after one recent misspelling that my friends in a group chat found just far too funny I decided there was probably something up and decided to call things off. I figured there were a lot of women out there too who genuinely don't get ick at poor spelling, so it'd do him a favour too.
I found the whole thing really funny because it was basically an episode of it's always sunny in philadelphia:
https://itsalwayssunny.fandom.com/wiki/Sweet_Dee%27s_Dating_a_Retarded_Person
I told my brother about it and he got into this huge argument with me about whether spelling mattered at all and whether it was actually indicative of literacy skills and about why writing shouldn't matter because we have audiobooks and voice chat now. Like, for context, my brother has an MSc and I have a PhD in a writing-heavy humanities field and this mf is trying to convince me to date someone who can't spell "potato". Patriarchy is truly the best comedy.
I agree that men go through insane lengths to get what they want, including doing everything they can to argue with a woman’s boundaries instead of just going ahead to find a woman that suits what they’re looking for. Like you, it boggled my mind how desperate they are to get a woman to lower her boundaries for them.
I have many icks; one of them is this exact thing - mispelling words, either deliberately or accidentally. The more it happens, the less seriously I take the guy because it makes me wonder if he’s not very intelligent or lazy; neither of which I’d like in a partner. Your academic achievements are amazing 🤩 and as you’re a words person, I can totally understand how misspelling words is off-putting. Men have many reasons, including reasons that are unfair, that make them cut off women so please be free to cut off men for any trait that doesn’t float your boat. Why your brother is standing up for a random guy is beyond me but you know, men will always men 🙄
Men are stupid
I was winning spelling bees as a child and reading the dictionary as a hobby (loooool) so illiterate is going to be a no from me dog. Refusing to improve your reading/writing skills to me is akin to refusing to learn math in terms of kneecapping yourself for knowing how the world works. Would someone argue with you over refusing to date someone who couldn't manage money because they can't count or do basic math?
Also, men who refuse to use their words and cut everything short drive me up a fucking wall. Text messages don't charge by the character anymore sir, are you in such a fucking hurry or do you just wish you could grunt instead of speaking? It's giving Kevin from the office "why say more word when few word do trick" or whatever.
My first thought (two English degrees here) is that I agree – I have also walked away from men who cannot spell. My second thought is, are we sure he has a degree? Men lie on apps all the time, and they can learn good vocabularly in speech from watching TV, but I guess you won't know now and it doesn't matter. Ask your brother what his red flag deal breaker top fives are, then go at them!
I mean, and there’s autocorrect anyway right? He didn’t notice the red squiggly line? 🤦♀️
Everyone who commented already did a great job of capturing my feelings on this topic, so I just came here to say this....
I'm sorry but your brother sounds like a stemlord 🤣
As someone who is pursuing a higher degree in a humanities related-field, you have my utmost respect for being as accomplished as you are because it is NOT easy. Keep doing your thing, queen!
EDIT: I did come up with something to add, either this guy is trying to be "cute" by misspelling words, which... ew? It just reeks of immaturity. I feel like this is likely, especially if English is his first and only language and he has a degree. Or he is someone who just can't be bothered to write professionally, which makes me question how he even managed to earn a degree since, in my experience, many schools do hold people accountable for poor spelling, grammar, and punctuation usage unless they're not a native English speaker. Overall, he reeks of complacency if he is aware of his misspellings and isn't actively trying to correct them, and we all know that a complacent attitude will just lead to more lv scrote behavior in the future. You did the right thing to cut him off.
You're right.
Spelling doesn't matter because we have voice chat? Wrong. The fact is that people who can't write well also can't speak well. FOR EXAMPLE Someone who always types "woman" when they need the plural "women" also get those words wrong when speaking, and I'm sorry but that's just dumb.