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(Reposted from private and locked sub-forum)
1) "EVERYTHING TRADITIONAL IS WRONG, ONLY MODERN DATING RULES IS RIGHT"
🔎 The problem with "modern" dating mentality is that they 100% reject anything traditional without taking into consideration what's good for women and what's not. It has that arrogant idea similar to "all old people are wrong, I am the only one right".
🔎 Without delving deeper into why traditional gender roles is the way they are, and how men and women operates when it comes to relationship - people just create a completely new narrative that serves a very specific interest. Whose interest does it serves though?
2) IS IT REALLY YOUR BELIEF OR IS IT SOMETHING INSTILLED INTO YOU?
🔎 Never forget - we all have been brainwashed since young. It starts the very second we are born into this world. Parents start shipping babies ffs and thinks it is "cute". Your mother teasing you about that cute boy. The cartoons hammering into your mind about prince charming. Teenage dramas subtly influence you about "be independent" and "switching gender stereotypes" and "you can save that broken bad boy". Adult soap operas about women being "go getter" and "go after that man" and compete with other women for the attention of that gorgeous yet emotionally distant man and be the "independent bad boss babe".
All these influence are telling you that the man is the prize and you better chase him or else you are the "no good" woman.
🔎 So not only we have to put our blood, sweat and tears into becoming a radically independent, high earning, successful boss woman - you also have to maintain a perfect groomed 10/10 image all the time "because that's what men likes". And you better chase that guy because if you don't, something is wrong with you. For the "opportunity" of being seen with him in public while you pay half or foot the entire dinner bill.
🔎 And as the relationship grows further, you will be the one initiating everything, move in with him, do chores and cook for him, give birth to his children, pay half the bills and eventually be the breadwinner because he "haven't been able" to find a new job after quitting his last one. Or he "suddenly" inspired to be the next Oscar winner or something.
🔎 5 years, 10 years in you start to wonder when he will propose and eventually lose your patience and drag him to the altar with a wedding that you paid for in full. And divorce 3, 4 years (or months) later with you paying him alimony because you earn more than him. This is what treating the man as the prize will get you.
3) IT IS "MODERN" DATING, BUT SOMEHOW ANYTHING THAT BENEFITS WOMAN IS DEEMED "EVIL"
🔎 Want a man to pay for dates because he asked you out? Gold digger.
🔎 Want him to act like a decent man and treat you well? Needy and asking for too much.
🔎 Expect him to keep up communication and plan dates? Selfish.
🔎 Not giving out "even after" he paid for dinner/give you some gifts/buy you a handbag? Manipulative and taking advantage of him.
🔎 Not into hookup culture and FWBs? Prude.
🔎 Dating for marriage and expecting him to propose after a year? What are you, a cavewoman? LOL.
🔎 Have ironclad standards and boundaries and enforce them ruthlessly? This b***h is crazy.
🔎 Have a preference in man and reject anyone that doesn't fit the bill? OMG how cruel! You should give this poor guy a chance!
🔎 So you can't even ask for the barest minimum lest the mob of scrotes and pickmes will gang up on you - yet you are expected to look perfect and be perfect and so radically independent he doesn't need to do jack sh*t for you, even in your sleep? Again, whose interest does this "modern" dating serves?
4) LIBFEM ACT LIKE THIS HOW HOW "MODERN" ADULT BEHAVE - BUT THEY ACTUALLY LOOK EVEN MORE CHILDISH INSTEAD
🔎 Doesn't matter how LibFem dress it - sexual "empowerment", hookups, bdsm, "wild & naughty", "open & adventurous" or whatever else f**king bullsh*t - I'mma call it out right now:
🔎 It is all just a childish attempt at proving how "cool" they are to the male population.
🔎 Being open with your sexuality has nothing to do with being an adult. Sex (and porn) is addicting and give instant gratitude, and unrestrained indulging in it is just another addiction.
🔎 Do you think an addict of any kind is a mature, sensible human being? No. They have stunted their growth with too much instant gratification - and thus being addicted to sex, or in many women's case to validation by men, is the same damn thing. They are still living the y/n novel fantasy of unicorn fart and la la land fairytale ending.
🔎 Here's the thing about that "traditional old school" mindset dating for marriage and wanting a financially secure husband to pay all the bills - it is rooted in real life. Things wayyy beyond the bedroom stuff. You want to ensure that there's always food on the table, the kids are fed, schooled, and have a great role model, the home is comfortable, safe and secure, your family unit can function well in the society, you have a sustainable future instead of worrying about money all the time.
🔎 You want a reliable man, a man who is already rooted and stable so that you both can enter the next phase in your life with a stable footing. The man is the foundation of the relationship, and you are the nurturer. If the foundation isn't stable, how can you expect to nurture peacefully?
🔎 Thinking that you get it all covered because you can pay half - even when the man's foundation is like cracked cement ready to crumble at any moment - is a very naïve way of looking at things.
🔎 Please remember that women are extremely susceptible to stress and fatigue - our strength is not rooted in our physicality's. You really believe you can endure that kind of stress until the end of your life?
🔎 Learn from the millions of other women who have been there, done that. Let go of your ego and that desperate need for a man - do not become another number in the statistics of overburdened, exhausted breakingmoms.
You want to start a family with a stable foundation of a man. Not a cracked cement man.
It is history repeating itself again - with every new wave of "modern" mentality, there's a group of people pulling string in the background to ensure that the mentality serves them. Patriarchy will never let women be free to live their life - they always want to chain us so that we can serve them till our end days.
So we must take everything being fed to us with extra scrutiny, and instead build our own narrative of what a relationship should be. Take some of the traditional ideas that benefit you, add in modern ideas that benefit you even more - and stick to that. That's how you date the high value way. To hell with everybody else, they don't know jack sh*t either and just parroting what patriarchy has been feeding them.
Remove that man from the pedestal and sit on it yourself.
Stay safe.
"Patriarchy will never let women be free to live their life - they always want to chain us so that we can serve them till our end days." You are completely right. It may look like women are getting more rights today compared to the last century, however the patriarchy is finding new ways to oppress women in the dating world. There is this ridiculous hook-up culture, people now say that female promiscuity is cool and empowering, having standards makes you a bitch and dating how men date makes you a "cool girl". It doesn't help that many female authors write books aimed at women telling them how to approach dating more like men do. It's tossing responsibility and forcing women to change because men do not want to be better and never will. To society women are to be moulded to fit the current status quo while men remain like stone, unchanging and never improving.
I used to try to be the cool girl that went along with how millennials date now, because "no one wants to have commitment and romance these days anyway". I pretended to be okay with casual sex and no commitment from men. "Netflix and chill" is in reality completely immature, encouraging young people to have sex casually and irresponsibly.
Society also glorifies fiercely independent women, if you are not independent and want romance its very easy to feel ashamed of being clingy and unrealistic.
Women are shamed for having standards and being prude, while simultaneously shamed for being a slut and "easy" if they do the opposite. Its all to accommodate men and let them dictate how women should date. It's so confusing and does not make any sense on surface level, it is so hard to see through it if you don't find communities like FDS or understand how men think.