Signs You've Been F*ckzoned

[ It was originally posted by deleted user on Reddit FDS. Found the text quite useful decided to repost. ]

Pardon the title, hopefully the asterisk softens it. But I wanted it to grab your attention at the same time, because this should be talked about.

As women, we were conditioned, trained, and naturally have it in us, to see the best in the people we interact with on a daily basis before debilitating over their faults or red flags. A good woman who had adequate "home training" from her family, was taught and drilled it in her that a successful woman is the woman who has many friends and no enemies. That the popular girl is the ideal girl. That women must be nice to all, smile to everyone, and extend her social skills to anyone who comes her way.

We internalize this message and befriend people of both sexes. I mean, why not? The average Western experience of a young girl is that she goes to a public co-ed school, where she is exposed to both boys and girls around her age. Her teachers are male and female, respectively, and she learns that she treats both of them with respect and open trust. Again, why not? What's the harm? She befriends a lot of girls, but those girls know other boys, and so the groups start to mix up, naturally. Once again, why not?

We assume that boys, who befriend other boys without trouble, are just as interested in being our friends also. We assume that men, who work along with other men at their jobs, will also be just as fine working along with us when sharing the same office space. And as women, we put people in neat little boxes inside our heads: That person is my colleague, that person is my friend, that person is my neighbor, that person is my lover, and that person is my foe. We assume that men are also like this, too.

But men aren't like us. Men are not women.

A man can hate a woman with everything he's got, but would not mind the opportunity to have sex with her at the same time. A man could befriend a woman for the sole purpose of trying to convert her into his girlfriend. A man could dump a woman, think she's the spawn of Satan, but when he's left to his lonesome after a number of weeks, months, or years.. can easily paint her white again and get back together with her. In a way, the concept of boxes is more fluid and casual, inside their heads. There's rigidity in there, of course, when they decide a woman is a slut, and unworthy of respect or commitment; she is still of some use to him in some way, shape, or form.

And that, my friends, is the fuck zone.

Back then, when I befriended men, and assumed the best, I was always, without fail, burned dramatically in the end by what they would do to me when it became clear that I would never return their affection or attraction. When a man looks at a woman, whether that's on the very first day that they meet, or after many months of getting to know her platonically, there is a switch inside his head that turns her from a friend, to a hole for his dick.

How do you know if you've been fuck zoned?

1. Conversations between you seem to steer towards sexual topics much quickly and easier; sexual jokes or jabs, flirting, prying into your dating or sex life, calling you sexist terms such as bitch/slut/whore ("Just kidding lol, don't take it so seriously!" afterwards as damage control as well as to not lose you as a perspective sex partner in the future.), degrading or creepy comments about your looks, etc.

2. Peacocking. He might make a subtle comment about how good he is at oral sex, how his exes used to say positive things about his body or how good he is at knockin' boots, takes and posts public pictures of himself without a shirt on where he KNOWS you'll be able to see it, and has a tendency to let you know just how many other women seem to be clawing at his door to get a taste of him. He's trying to appear incredibly attractive to you so that you'll think about sleeping with him later.

3. He doesn't ask anything about you or of your personal life. It seems like you're the only one trying to keep the conversation alive. When a man has a friend, conversations flow naturally. But when he's fuck zones someone, he cannot see that person as a human being anymore. Talking to someone he's fuck zoned is like trying to talk with an inanimate object: Doable, and maybe a bit entertaining, but ultimately unfulfilling and annoying once done too long. He just wants to bang you and leave.

4. He pulls disappearing acts on you and ghosts you more than a haunted house. You can see that he doesn't do this with other people except with you, so it feels personal. He hangs out with other people just fine, converse and socialize with other people just fine, and post status updates about his adventures with his other friends just fine, or how much he appreciates certain people in his life. But with you? You are nowhere to be found in his social sphere. No one else knows who the hell you are. He keeps you as a secret, as if you are an affair partner, despite you not ever slept with him before.

5. Despite him hiding you from everyone else, though, when he corners you in private discussions, he may seem sincere, telling you that he appreciates you, how much he enjoys your company, what a great \~friend\~ you are to him, that he can trust you with anything (free therapy and emotional labor), that he can unload all of his traumas and bad days with you (makes you feel special that he seems to only trust you), and for a while, it seems like its a world with just him and you in it. You feel above his other female friends because of this. But in his mind, he's laughing at you. You're not above his other female friends that he might have a bit of respect.. you're just a hole to him. Nothing more.

6. He wants to meet up with you physically. Not in a group of mutual friends, though it might be fine as long as he can get you some place private so that he can finally pounce on you. But most times, he only wants to hang out just so he can make moves on you.

7. He talks constantly about other women to you. Exes. Lays. Crushes. A dead wife's name here and there. His previous traumatic divorce. A part of you wonders if he's trying to make you jealous. Maybe he is. But not to make you his girl, though.

8. If you are a part of his social media, he does not speak to you on it publicly where everyone else can see it. Or if he does, its very minimal and/or has hints of sexual innuendo or flirting in there. He does this for a reason: To signal to other women that you are someone that they shouldn't be worried about and that you're just one his bitches. He doesn't want his crush to see what a hoe he is, after all, nor does he want YOU to ruin his rep by making you out to seem like this very special woman.

9. He only comes around during his low points. Once things are going fine with him, POOF. He's gone. And if you're going through something tough in your life? Who cares. He'll put up with it with reluctance and annoyance, and making you feel like you're too much for him. You end up swallowing your emotional needs around him. You soon learn that it's better to just keep it to yourself, lest you want to lose him as a friend. This can't last forever, though, and soon enough, he DOES dump you as a friend when he realizes he cannot pry your panties off of you despite all of his efforts.

10. Finally, you don't feel good about yourself anymore. Men complain about the shittiness of being stuck in the friendzone, but they really don't know how good they have it in life. Male friendship is heralded as this huge, amazing phenomena in the media, and there's something wrong with you (male or female) if you can't secure a friendship with a man. Men are amazing human beings, didn't you know? So, what the hell is wrong with you that you can't get along with men? Friendship is a beautiful thing. In friendship, you have people who love you, support you, is there for you both in your highs and lows, that you can have fun with regularly, create memories with, and boost your self esteem and mental health. Men become suicidal when they don't have friends; they won't die if they never have sex again, even if they argue that they do or will. When you're fuck zoned, though, you have the responsibilities of being a good friend without any of the rewards... except maybe orgasmless sex.

There you have it. If you have any other signs you want to post, do so! We need to keep our eyes peeled for this type of scrotery.