Let him deal with it.

You are on a date.

He is handsome and tick all the superficial boxes.

And you think you are an unfortunate potato compared to him.

And then this young, sexy, physically attractive woman/waitress comes to your table and blatantly hitting on him after taking one look at you.

(Not that strange nowadays, I've worked with women like this)

Your heckles get raised like mad -- so what will you do?

Usually when this happens, the woman (aka you) immediately goes into a FORCED mate-guard mode and start signaling for the other woman to back off.

Dropping hints or saying loudly about how he is with you and that woman should watch herself, yadda yadda.

While the man just sit there in silence and let you exhaust yourself out "guarding" him.

Do you benefit in any way, shape or form doing this?

No, no you don't.

You in your pretty hair and nice makeup and beautiful clothing is sitting there with a frown in your face, seething with anger and annoyance because your nice little date is rudely interrupted, trying to keep from just straight up yelling in public, gritting your teeth, "polite"ly asking that other woman to go. away.

How stupid.

Here's something that will blow your mind:

Instead of stressing yourself stupid mate-guarding him -- you do NOTHING.

Let him deal with it.

You know what happens, you ain't dumb. But you just sit there and let it all play out -- and you simply, quietly, calmly OBSERVE.

What is he doing?

Is he just pretending nothing happens and cowardly let that woman continue to insult you right in your face?

Does he just sit there in awkward, uncomfortable silence -- looking at you and begging you with his eyes to "Please do something?"

Does he flirt back and participate in insulting you straight to your face -- and later play it off as "It is just a friendly conversation, stop being so sensitive!"?

or,

Is he calmly yet firmly stop that woman in her track, civilly tell her that her attitude is rude to you and to him, and (if she is the waitress) request to have another, more professional worker to come instead -- or walk you out and change the date place into something better on the spot?

That, my dear sisters -- is how you vet.

Vetting is not exhausting - if you are willing to do the hard work of being DISCIPLINED with yourself.

How can you calmly and comfortably just let him deal with it and observe?

You train yourself to not easily fall into your emotions -- or more accurately, your insecurity and feelings of being threatened.

You train yourself to not rush things and let it happen organically -- you don't project your hopes and dreams and goals and whatever onto him and the dating situation, you just simply observe.

You train yourself to STOP falling into the bed of roses and put on the rose-colored glasses -- you meet him every single time with eyes wide open and head sharp and clear.

You train yourself to NOT overthink and overanalyze and over logicalize anything -- you think too much, yet don't observe enough.

Here's the thing -- men date with feelings, women date with LOGIC.

You heard that right -- women date with logic. That's why you overanalyze and over logicalize everything he does to the point you almost automatically gaslight yourself if he suddenly feels "off" to you.

Because "there must be a reason why he suddenly don't act like he did before" -- because otherwise it is not logical, why the pattern of his behavior changes "suddenly", right?

Listen, it is not wrong to be logical in dating -- it is a weapon in your womanhood arsenal, you need to be logical in order to choose the best mate for yourself and your future family;

But you are overdoing it wayyy to much, to the point of actively gaslighting yourself -- because your are brainwashed since birth to believe that "he must have a reason for doing this!"

To that I say put a little brake in your (over)thinking, and let him deal with it.

Watch him, just watch him.

Always remember, courtship is his job.

Your job is to evaluate whether he is worth your time and attention -- if he efforts are unsatisfactory to you, cut him off, stop wasting your precious time.

If you settle now and keep making things easy for him -- that's how he is going to be forever and ever to you, regardless of how many sacrifices and "love" you throw at him.

Regardless of how you look and what stages you are in life -- if he asked you out, he wants you. So he better act like it, or get the f**k out of your way.

Be disciplined, be firm, be ruthless.

Whatever drama and trouble occurs, let him deal with it. You keep focusing on yourself.

Stay safe, Stay Woman.