Handbook Posts: Women Hold More Power Than They Think

WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.

The Awakening: Women Hold More Power Than They Think and Can Use It to Get Everything They Deserve.

Warning: If you are still empathetic to men who don't hold empathy for you or don't believe in doing to them, what they do to you.. leave now. Especially if you don't like the idea of dating being a game. ALSO THIS POST DOES NOT REPRESENT FDS AS A WHOLE! This my personal opinion/view that has been requested to be discussed numerous times. Every woman has different ideas of how to live their life, allow them to do what they please as it does not affect/hurt you. Thank you.

A High Value Woman can take care of herself and provide herself everything she wants. However, every woman has the right to live easier and more comfortable. Use men's lust for you to your advantage and live 10x better.

For my ladies who have given up on: love, good men, being moral and "doing things the right way"

There’s the ones who will peep the game and use patriarchy to their advantage. And there’s the ones who peep the game and want to destroy patriarchy. Neither is wrong.

Those that want to destroy patriarchy are basically FDS's audience. This includes getting everything on your own (no depending on men) and absolutely no pandering to men (not looking good for men, etc.). Safe route, nothing wrong with it.

Sure, we all want to get rid of patriarchy but instead of letting it us get us down and hopeless, some women have turned to shrugging, admitting 'it is what it is' and using it to live their ideal life. It's going to be a looooong time before patriarchy is dismantled, why not make life enjoyable for you?

I don't date men that can't elevate or improve my life in any way. A good man will make your life easier. I think more women should do this to protect themselves as you won't fall victim to bums that hold you back for years on end. With my ex, I was able to get trips overseas, gifts, protection, devotion and admiration. He would fly and drive hours to see me and do anything to ease my burdens. All because I carried myself well and lived independently as if I could live without him. They recognize women that know they're the prize.

Independent women are like lamps to moths (LWM). A woman that asks for nothing and refuses everything, is the best woman a bum can leech off of. Don't be so independent that you turn down help from men.

Young women need to be aware of the behaviors of men, how to recognize them and avoid being destroyed by said men. You need to plan and strategize so that you don't fall victim. Victimhood will not fly here; you have the power to take charge of your life... you can't sit in your house waiting for Prince Charming! You need to stop selling yourself short and open your eyes to the truth: women have more power than they know, and your hooha runs the world. Men run on your time and will do anything to get in between your legs.

What I’m really referring to here are the women who have goals and have no issue using men’s “lust” for them to their advantage. A great example of this type of woman is SheraSeven1, a YouTuber. These women know men want them and will use them to gain job opportunities, social climb, get bills paid, gain gifts, gain access to places, etc. Essentially, using men to improve your quality of life -- working smarter, not harder. You know men want sex, while you want security.. so why not entertain the idea to get them to do anything you want?

"A man can gain his resources back over and over again but women can't get back the parts of them they gave a man."

Why It Works And The Truth...

Life isn't Lala land where everything is peaches 'n cream. You will have to take advantage of opportunities especially by the route less taken. No, I'm not referring to 'f*cking your way to the top' (by all means, do you.) but getting everything you want by being the wonderful lady you are. It's truly a lost art these days. Your beauty, confidence, good company is a "commodity" and can get you anything from men that crave just that. Men do everything and anything to gain attention from women.

Men walk around arrogantly because they've been able to breadcrumb women yet still receive massive benefits from women (free and easy sex, free meals and maid service, saving money by having car dates/movie nights, their paychecks and letting them borrow their cars, etc.) There are 60 year old scrotes that believe they're the prize because they've been able to take advantage of young women. We should question if men are truly the gold diggers. It's time you take your power back and get what you need. Women need to ditch the idea of being humble and really take a look at themselves and say, "I am that b*tch."

The Tools You Need...

1) Strong Mentality

Be smart... like real street smart. If you're here, you've probably killed any naivety about the world left in you. Absorb everything you need to know about the reality of men and how women can use charm & personality to get what they want.

Know who you are and have strong morals and an identity for yourself; this prevents you from lowering your boundaries and sticking to your goal.

Sit down and think of all the things you want out of life; better yet, write them down. Do you want to be provided for? Do you want your dream career? Do you want access to certain people? Do you want an amazing home for you and your children? Do you want your children/family to be set for life and live better than you? Do you want to start a business?

2) Making Yourself Attractive

You should not depend on men to feel attractive. However, you can look beautiful to target a man/opportunity. Let's break this down. First, if you don't feel confident in your looks, you can always change them.

Transforming yourself can be such an exciting journey (I will never regret being so fed up with my looks and finally taking charge to becoming my ideal self. 10/10 experience). Putting effort into my looks before I leave my house has completely changed my life and the things I experience.

Confidence makes up for anything you lack -- if you hold yourself like a bad b*tch, they will accept you as a bad b*tch. You may think you look pretty cute now, but take a serious look from the outside and see if others see you as attractive as you think.

Pretty privilege is very real and if you want to reap the rewards for it.. invest in yourself. The Vindicta subreddit may be useful to some of you.

3) Romanticize your life and think of it as a fun simulation

When everything you do is romanticized, such as shopping alone, drinking tea in your backyard, getting ready for the day, exploring the city with your favorite music playing, you learn to love your life. When life is a game to you, it becomes fun.

I live by law of attraction so this is easy for me to do, I highly suggest getting into it or becoming spiritual (not religious) if you want. Don't become disheartened because you feel good men don't exist, just make your goals priority and enjoy life. You truly may run into one.

Think of how you can get everything you've ever dreamed of by being a go-getter and remaining unattached to societal expectations of relationships. Life is a play and more than struggle, have fun with it so when you're a shriveled up 90 year old you can look back and smile.

How To Get What You Want From Them:

Firstly, avoid any man that you know is loud about everything. If you know he would kiss and tell, it's not worth it -- RUN! Your reputation is very important so you need to be highly selective about who you let in your proximity. He will expose your strategies and you will lose opportunities. Avoid men you know are unstable, be safe and don't bite off more than you can chew. Know your target.

Never ever, ever, ever have sex before getting what you want. (for men you want a relationshipwith, save sex for last until he has proved himself.) This doesn't only apply to sex, but attention and other perks. No, you don't ride him for 20 minutes, roll over and ask, "can you get me a car now?" or whatever. The point is let him believe he can have you, so don't cave in immediately expecting him to get you anything. Drag it on for as long as you need, gaining opportunities along the way. No, you don't sell yourself for things you want, ever. Because majority of the time you will end up never holding up your end of the bargain. Don't invite him to your house after a date, thinking it'll be light hearted conversations. Keep affection and intimacy out in public, rather than on his couch so that he can't escalate things and cause you to give in early. He has to earn that.

Sex only comes with commitment or some sense of security. Women have made it too easy to get sex (casual, FWBs, after first dates, etc). It scares me that so many women have babies with LVM without a ring, financial security, or even a home. You are risking your health (STDs and pregnancy) for them, so be sure to use your discernment and wait until you have something secure. Always get his test results. Men are far less likely to ditch things they have invested in. So get those dates paid, bills paid for, connections established, etc. and it will be hard for him to ghost you. Even if he does leave, you are left with benefits rather than a broken heart and low self-esteem.

The men you don't want are stepping stones to the ones you do. If there's an undesirable guy orbiting you, consider what he has and make the decision on whether or not you want to use it. For example, Mr. Undesirable may have a great job in a career you want so you can ask him to help build your resume, put in good word for you, and land you that higher paying job. Mr. Undesirable may have attractive/successful friends, so accept that invite to that party and get to socializing. These are the type of men you want investing in you so that you can get Mr. Desirable. My experience using this: I knew a guy who has a job in a field I have been wanting to get into. I accompany him sometimes to events and whatnot because he enjoys my company. He put in good word and now I have a "dream" job in my big city (stepping stone for me) that allows me to network and social climb for my future since celebrities and important people frequent there. It also looks really good on my resume. His attraction to me has allowed me to get the opportunity that I know I wouldn't have gotten on my own in at least a few years.

Don't be the COOL girl, be the FUN girl. I cannot stress this advice enough! The cool girl lets anything slide; the cool girl doesn't benefit from anything because she allows men to low ball her and refuses to have a back bone. She doesn't challenge him and goes with the flow, all for the sake of having a man. Don't be the cool girl. Now the fun girl is all about creating the fantasy woman men dream of having. The fun girl is a treat to be around -- she's positive, full of banter + laughter, interesting, and relaxing to be around because she's great company. I've mastered this and, boy, has it worked in my favor. Men don't like nagging, moody behavior, and sadness (even though they may be the cause of all these). By being the breath of fresh air he can escape to, he is bound to do anything to keep you around. If you're emotionally detached from men, dates can be a fun thing. Just be the amazing company you are while securing your needs. Personal Example: I love a fun night out on the town and living in a popular city, there are clubs that are a bit hard to get into. By being great company to a certain guy, I'm able to get in clubs I always wanted to get into with his help.

If you have a circle full of fun girls, even better. When you have a couple friends that can have easy conversation with strangers when you guys are out, men will flock. You will almost 100% attract suitors and use them to your advantage. I cannot begin to explain how many opportunities you may run into with the right group of friends. Even though attracting men while you're alone is smarter, this is a good way to ease in and test your strategies. This also goes hand in hand with which friends you bring out with you. If they bring the mood down, aren't necessarily good conversationalist - leave them at home.

Even though you are denying him something, don't be a complete prude. Be able to have fun. Don't say no to every single thing that makes him think you are the opposite of easy going. He won't let his guard down then. If you don't drink, accept his drink offer but toss it out when he's distracted or accidentally knock it off the table. If you say no to one thing, bring up something else. "I'm not really up for _____ buttttt, we can do _____ instead." Of course, if you want to stay home instead of seeing a man, feel free to say no. Stand your ground. However when you want something... play the game. When denying him sex: don't bring sex up ever and change the conversation when it comes up. Leave immediately when you can tell he's getting hard, make up an excuse.

Be comfortable in your own skin like the fun girl. She just does, she doesn't hesitate or acts meek around a man. Be at ease and have a comfortable air around you. It'll bring his guard down. I am extremely comfortable with myself and it really puts their defenses down. You can create that "bond" and get whatever you want. Ex: I met another guy who owned a club and I'd often visit. Using humor and lighthearted conversations when he wasn't busy working, I was able to bring his guard down quickly. I got access to the club for myself and friends, restaurant dates, and a gift. I didn't like him like that but he had heavy interest in me -- used it to my advantage. Whenever he brought up doing things in the future, I'd entertain the idea. Especially when it came to intimacy. I never had sex with these men, barely kissed them.

Don't believe what men say. They will say anything just to please your pretty little ears. Promises don't mean anything without action. The way you may dangle the promise of sex is the same way they dangle emotional security and other things in your face. Let it go out one ear from the other. I could've easily gotten hurt by an emotionally manipulative man I dealt with for a uber short time (bad time in my life) and he would make all sorts of promises. But I ignored them and only responded to his actions, so I was able to move on with my life immediately after it ended. You'll break your own rules and backslide if you listen to everything a man says, for example, you catch him cheating and he overexplains himself to get you back. Just leave.

Limit apologies, be hot and cold, and always have the upperhand. It's all about keeping your power in check and it keeps him on his toes. When you overly apologize, you lose your power. He needs to see you as the one who calls the shots. Accountability is important with people you love (friends, family, etc) but when it comes to getting what you want from men? who cares. Men have 0 shame asking you for sex, you need to have 0 shame asking them for things. If he does something you don't like, punish him with coldness. If he does something you like, bring the heat. Never go full crazy girlfriend because they did something that aggravated you; just disappear and/or state your expectation. They like when you keep them guessing and keep things exciting by never letting them have 100% of you. Keep your appearance in check at all times, so he's often wondering how many men are throwing themselves at you. Have him think he has you all to himself, yet never close yourself off from others until you've secured a ring, etc. Examples: Letting him text/call first always (cold) but surprise him with a call first (hot) one day and mention getting together somewhere. Bring up a man doing something for you when he fails to do so. Keep him wondering about where you are/what you're doing by being busy, even if you're in bed snacking on a large meatlover's to a good movie (he doesn't need to know, lie just like they do). I have a friend that has kept a guy loyal and absolutely smitten by her for years by treating him like she can walk out whenever she wants. She never falls over him, displays jealousy, cries and begs him to do anything, and responds with ice when he does something she doesn't approve of. She's gained networking, gifts, commitment, and anything she asks for by acting like the prize.

Emotionally detach, but use your emotions to get what you want. Along with the advice above, you may wonder when can you show emotion. Keeping your emotions in check is the smartest thing you can do. When you cry, become jealous, start caring more about him, he knows he has you wrapped around his finger. Be "vulnerable" to establish trust from him, and cry when you want him to feel guilt & get you double of what you ask for. It's easier than you think to establish a vulnerable moment where he thinks you guys are really connecting. He'll open up and now you have his deepest insecurities in your hand -- do whatever with that information. An easy way to remain detached is to give yourself "the ick" by imagining him doing something that grosses you out. Lol, examples include imagining his butt crack showing as he gets out the car, him asking his mom for money, him being humiliated by his friends as they ignore him in conversations, etc. Stay a mystery by never giving him all of you (you should never give anyone all of you but anyways..) and keep secrets to yourself as well as your trauma/insecurities/failures. Don't let men have power of you by letting them know your weaknesses to destroy you later on. He shouldn't be able to fully figure you out. After a messy breakup, I could not begin to tell you guys how relieved I was for keeping my suicidal thoughts and depression (I'm totally okay now!) to myself, even though I was in love and trusted him, because he would have used it against me in the end. Don't give a man a reason to laugh or belittle you. Keep a journal so you have an emotional outlet for all the deep stuff and keep supportive, strong friends by your side.

Stroke his ego. I know this is against FDS but when it comes to getting what you want? Works beautifully. Yeah you're a smart, independent woman but when it comes to keeping a man appreciative of you, you need to make him feel like the man. Don't be obvious with it, make it sound genuine. If he's sitting there telling you about ____, feign genuine interest and ask questions. Flirt and tie it into you. Ex: "Oh so you do real estate in Cleveland? That's amazing.. I'd love it if you could show me the best condos around the city."

Reward him with praise and intimacy instead of sex. Tell him how much his gift/whatever has helped you tremendously or how much you love something. Build up the levels of intimacy by how much he does for you. If he's doing something you don't particularly like, WITHHOLD INTIMACY. Also, don't kiss him on your first date, but rather when he gets your car repaired for you, etc. You are essentially training him that the more he does for you, the more love you shower him with.

Target the underdogs. Mr. Undesirable. Men who you know get overlooked, have insecurities, and don't get attention. You will get 10x more out of these men compared to ones that have options (if your trying to simply gain something). The more arrogant and entitled the man is, the more you are indifferent. There will be guys who think they're the man and glance at you from the corner of their eye to see if you see his performative acts to impress you. The types who flash their car, shoes, jewelry and money to get you to fall over them like a stray cat and tuna. Don't bother giving them attention, but if they are your target, playing hard to get and unimpressed will get him to fall over you. The same way emotionally unavailable men string women along with their indifference is the same move you can pull on them.

Place yourself in the position to get him, don't court him. A woman who knows her worth can pull a guy just by giving him the green light to come over or places herself in a position where he can see her. Lock eyes and smile at him, then go back to doing what you're doing. Men are usually overthinking if you even want them to come over, so give him the green light and let him do the rest of the work. Stay in his peripheral vision. If you have a specific type of man you want, go where he would go.

If he asks, "what do you look for in a man?" he wants to mold into your fantasy; use that to your advantage or be vague so he doesn't build a facade. If your trying to gain something from him, use keywords. Such as "I like a man who's generous, kind to me, enjoys the fine things in life." or "I like a man that is adventurous and wants to see the world rather than staying in for movies or lounging around. I get pretty bored easily." See how easy it is to get a man to play into what youwant? You should establish expectations/standards at the beginning so there's no room to fully disappoint you. Better yet, ask him what he looks for in a woman if he does. Ex: I tell men I find movies boring and that I like to be out, it saves them from lowballing me with low effort dates. If he likes you, he will scramble to find another activity to see you.

Don't entertain conversation with every man. You are not obligated to entertain scrotes or talk to people you don't want to. Especially if you're out and turning down men, they will notice and find it alluring that you're so selective. Men have told me numerous times how sexy it is that I don't let just anyone get to know me. I think it feeds their ego that they're the ones who got a shot with you. I don't let men dance or talk too much with me if I'm out enjoying myself without them buying me a drink first. If he pays for something small, it is a glimpse into his generosity. A man who is repulsed by the idea of getting you a drink/meal at the getting-to-know you stage isn't worth your time, he'll lowball you forever.

BE SELFISH. Get yours first! I cannot stress this enough. Women put people's needs above their own too often while men don't even second guess living for themselves. The same way men put their orgasm over you and your health, you can put your interests/needs over them. Stop caring. Caring doesn't benefit you in the slightest, save that for the vulnerable like the homeless, animals, children, other women, friends, family, and so on.

Keep your eyes on the prize: your goals. What are you trying to gain here? Don't lose sight of it while you deal with these men. Don't break your back for them. If you lose an opportunity, don't chase it once it's walked away from you. Learn the lesson and charge it to the game.

If you want something and don't want to ask, throw hints with your actions. Stare at that purse and sigh, saying how much you'd kill to have that bag. Try things on and let him see. Leave magazine pages or internet tabs up of things you want. "Oh no, I can't come out tonight.. I need to buy an alternator for my car.." or whatever. Ex: I mumbled to myself how I wanted a puppy so badly once in passing and one day he asked me if I wanted one so he could get it for me.

Use your femininity.. it'll go FAR. Don't deny help, ask him to open a jar for you or reach the top shelf for you. Femininity doesn't only reside in how you dress yourself, it's in you. Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy but it is up to you to channel it. It's how you behave. Too independent = masculine behavior. Yeah you can hold your own because you're that b*tch, but don't give off that vibe that you can do what he does, better. Ex: If you are a woman with a successful career (lawyer, for example), don't baby the men you date, don't compete with them by arguing (state your opinion, hear his out, and drop it whether he's right or wrong), and don't support them. He should be just as successful as you if not more.

Sit back and let a guy talk, he'll spill everything if you let him. Eventually men will show their true selves if you allow them to talk enough. You don't even have to do the hard work of digging. Especially if he brings up sex early in the conversation -- you can either 1) run or 2) get something out of him since he wants sex so bad. If you plan on confronting him about something, surprise him so he doesn't have time to lie.

"Why can't we have sex?" Excuses to use: "I just want to be able to get to know you more. I want to be comfortable." "I'm celibate and trying to know your the right guy I should give myself to." "It's the time of the month." "I have the worst stomach ache right now... I could throw up any minute." "Could you buy me Monistat/Tampons/Advil on the way to Walmart?" "I'm allergic to latex, I need a specific kind of condom." "I want to be tested first, just to be safe."

He'll appreciate it more when you have made him wait and invest in you. It's like the stock market. After investing for a while, you finally hit the jackpot and make some real money. He's going to be ecstatic he finally got it. Lying about little things like "I trust you enough to ___" or "I've never let anyone ____" will go far and create that fake bond/deepness in order to get what you want.

I spent all day writing this I hope you lovelies appreciate it. Be safe and be smart. Get yours and succeed. <3

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