Handbook Posts: There is ZERO benefit to having a crush.

WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.

Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.

There is ZERO benefit to having a crush. Eliminate your feelings/attraction towards them. You can subtly give them signals, but don't pursue or idealize them.

I've been there before.

I used to be the kind of girl who would get crushes on men and it would turn a bit obsessive. I would fantasize about how good being with them would feel and I did things to make them aware of my existence. I initiated contact, I led our interaction, and I was forward with my seduction. I had a stronger masculine personality back then and I didn't mind taking the lead. I wanted to make them like me.

Of course, it didn't work out. It only made the man emotionally unavailable and I think I was attracted to a man's emotional unavailability because I didn't have enough self-worth back then. I just didn't know any better.

Now I see some posts here where basically the OP is asking what moves she should make to catch the attention of her crush.

She knows about his existence and admires him, but he doesn't know her. Or... she's friends with her crush and she wants to take it to the next level. I know that pleasure that comes from yearning for someone and the thrill of the unknown.

"Does he or does he not like me? I want him to notice me. I want to make him mine."

It's a drug, chasing after men; it makes you feel more alive. But oh, how our emotions mislead us! Allowing yourself to get carried away will bring nothing but pain.

My advice basically is...

Do NOT have a crush on anyone ever. If you ever feel yourself liking a friend, stop feeling that way, because if he's interested in you, he would have asked you out already.

If it's a stranger that you like, stop feeling that way, because liking someone who hasn't noticed you is a sure way to put you in pursuit mode and FDS women don't pursue.

And remember, if you were his type, he would have noticed you already.

You want a man that notices you. Sure, you can flirt with your friend or make flirty eye contact with the cute stranger, but stop yourself from feeling intense emotions and infatuation towards them.

Only entertain men who pursue you HARD. Plus, once a man finds out you have a crush on him before he decides that he likes you, he’ll have the power in the relationship and will take you for granted subconsciously.

The best course of action is to become your best self and attract men to your life, while at the same time not letting yourself have a silent crush on anyone EVER.

You only entertain men who obviously pursue you and you don't yearn for someone who doesn't know your existence or an acquaintance/friend who hasn't asked you out.

The handbook posts project.

Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.