Handbook Posts: The Importance of High Standards

WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.

Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.

Why having high standards will never work against you!

“If men have the option not to pay with other women why would they go with a woman who demands it?”

Here is why:

I have seen and heard a lot of dissent as to the standards this sub promotes that essentially comes down to some variation of “If men have the option not to pay with other women why would they go with a woman who demands it?” This also applies to our other standards. I have even seem some anxiety over this within our community, so here is a little refresher:

Men like women who have standards.

Having standards demonstrates your worth. You teach people how to treat you. Does your mans dream girl settle for bread crumbs? No, she demands excellence.

If he genuinely likes you he will want to do things for you.

Today the coworker I sit next to was slack-jawed that the guy I’ve been seeing texted me out of the blue to see if he could book a massage for me. If a man likes someone they will want to do things that make that person happy (shocker).

The value of sex is simply higher for women and should be treated as such.

This is a part of required reading but should be reread often as a reminder:

Handbook Posts: P*ssy has Value, D*ck doesn't.

Having a mans investment in you will contribute to how much he values you.

Investing includes financially, with his time and with his emotions (which should be translated into actions). You are a lot more likely not to care properly for something that was low-cost than something high-cost. If the expensive ring you bought starts to rust, you’re more likely to take it to the jeweler and ensure you do not lose it than a cheap ring which you may just as well toss out. I believe this applies even if the items are of similar quality due to the loss aversion principal. Similarly if he has put a lot of time, money and effort into you - he will not be so willing to discard you and the investment he has made. (Additionally, we here pride ourselves on being and becoming quality, high-value women.)

There are always more men.

Even if you think you are losing out on a great guy you get along with- if he doesn’t meet your standards, it is a big wide world, there is another great guy you’ll get along with who exceeds your standards.

Most importantly, you are better off alone than with someone who does not meet your standards.

Male/female relationship norms are completely designed to cater to the man's interest. A part of this means that women have been so socialized to see commitment from men as a win that men have gotten away with bringing little else to the table, despite the fact that this goes purely against their interest (there are many statistics that point to this fact). It is never worth sacrificing your self-worth to cater to a man’s comfort or interest. Being un-partnered is not a failure, trashing your self-worth for a man who doesn’t meet your standards is a failure.

FDS is meant to be a community to help us counter a system that was very much built against us, a system that was made for the comfort of men largely at our expense. You do not need to feel guilty that you need rules, tactics or a community like this to try to make this largely patriarchal system work for you.

The handbook posts project.

Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.