.png)
WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
Being high maintenance is the ultimate self-defense.
You know something is a good thing for a woman, if it makes LVM rage out. LVM lose their cool and reveal who they really are, when they're discussing "high maintenance" women, if they can even define what that means.
Being high maintenance is the ultimate self-defense, because it is the ultimate screener.
No screener is perfect or complete on it's own, and whatever screening system you do use, has to be multi-faceted, but being high maintenance is more powerful than a self-defense class or a weapon.
Low maintenance women, cool chicks, not like the other girls women, "I believe in feminism so I go Dutch" types might as well wear a "kick me" sign on their back.
When you're high maintenance, the following happens...
You feel better about yourself. You feel more confident, secure and overall happier. You care about yourself-- your body, mind, emotions. You take care of yourself. You know who you are, what you want and what you like. You also know what you don't like. You're not so easily distracted, because you know yourself. You also carry yourself with this air of having a purpose, like you have a destination. People (not just men, but everyone) absolutely pick up on that.
You weed out predators, riffraff and low value men just by avoiding the things they like -- like dating apps, going Dutch, sleeping on the 1st/2nd date, not planning dates, coffee dates, drink dates, last minute dates, low effort dates, etc. You didn't miss a secret unicorn-- all of these men would have happily exploited you, and with no remorse, if you were not high maintenance.
You become more attractive to HVM. Carrying yourself like you know who you are and what you like, being confident, feminine, socially graceful and happy-- is attractive to men who are seeking a quality partner to build a life with. HVM are generally not into women who are confused, don't know who they are or what they want.
Even if you're single and not looking, being high maintenance opens doors for work, friendships and social status. Looking good, feeling good and putting yourself out there opens doors. No HVW wants to be friends with a pickme who is going to be an emotional vampire or a liability. You get access to quality friends when you're high maintenance.
And I don't think I need to put a disclaimer on FDS, that high maintenance isn't the same thing as a gold digger, but even if you're a gold digger-- so what? Men are used to being in one-sided transactional relationships where they only ever get everything for free/almost nothing. They rage out at "gold diggers" because gold diggers actually demand equality in a transactional relationship.
Men damn gold diggers and "high maintenance" women (any woman whose standards he doesn't meet) because they are not prepared for reciprocity. They absolutely know they are in transactional relationships-- with booty calls, forever girlfriends and the like. Women are just brainwashed to believe that genuine love is possible in a transactional relationship. You can think Disney and female socialization for that.
Also, it used to be that you actually had to go after millionaires or billionaires to be a gold digger. I remember a time when "high maintenance" meant that you were a rude, snotty woman with tastes she can't afford. The meaning of these words have changed, because men have misused them so much, that they know call any woman whose standards they can't meet, a gold digger or high maintenance. Its shaming, misogynistic language-- any woman who has the audacity to have standards will be met with this shaming, misogynistic language.
Another thing about being high maintenance-- you really have to know what game you're playing, the game men have created and control. Pretending to be naïve, stupid or giving riffraff a chance, against your instinctive better judgement, only cements your position as "loser" in this game. No knight in shining armor is going to come to save you, after you have wasted your potential because you chose to be willfully delusional. In this game, libfems will also try to confuse you or they'll attack you if you talk about your beliefs openly. You really have to have a very strong sense of self, to be high maintenance.
The handbook posts project.
Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.