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WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
note: I'm using "Whore" which is obviously a degrading word used on women, but I'm using this to describe the women the M/W sees. A "Whore" viewed by a M/W isn't necessarily a whore. in its literal sense.
In summary, in the Madonna/Whore complex (shortened to M/W) man's viewpoint, there's strictly two types of women, the Madonnas and the Whores.
The Madonna is the woman that is "pure", she is the one the M/W man respects. He can't have much sexual desire for the Madonna but he wants her as his wife because he respects her. At the opposite, the Whore is the one the M/W desires sexually. He wants to fuck her, he wants to do the nastiest stuff with her. But he doesn't respects her.
A Madonna woman can fall fast to become a Whore in a M/W complex man's viewpoint, and a Whore woman WILL NEVER become a Madonna. No matter how hard she will try.
Sex plays a huge part in this complex.
>! This is a HEAVILY misogynistic way to view women. You shouldn't aspire to fold to the M/W man's idea of Madonna.
➡️ If you're in a relationship, it won't be easy to determine if your man is deep into M/W complex. You're influenced by emotions, you might not realize the yellow flags, the red flags. That's normal, some stepping back can be necessary to see the red/yellow flags. Also, some men hide it SO well behind pretense and manipulation.
😇😈😇😈😇😈😇😈
There's a few symptoms of a M/W complex:
Makes weird questions/comments about your sexual past. Asks questions about past experiences, past partners, about your virginity. Asks if you've done kisses, blowjobs, and other specific acts (normally a HV man wouldn't ask the very specifics, and maybe ask your general experience level.) If he thinks you slept around a lot and that you're too experienced for his (skewed and invading) taste, he's gonna tag you Whore, and never actually respect you. Denigrates other women for sleeping around instead of minding his business. 🚩🚩🚩
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Makes awful comments about sexual workers specifically, saying they're "contaminated, dirty, untouchable, etc". Says he won't date a ex-sex worker, because of her past, because in his view, sex workers are absolute Whores and always will be. No chance of salvation. 🚩🚩🚩
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Has issues with pornography addiction (porn actresses = the easiest to access Whores in his world. Porn addiction by itself is a RED FLAG). At the same time, he is staunchly against you watching porn despite watching porn himself, says you should avoid porn. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
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Is critical of women expressing about their sexuality, because it goes against his idea of a Madonna. The Madonna is pure and never talks about sex. Example would be rappers like Megan Lee Stallion. 🚩🚩🚩
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Takes a father/older brother position instead of a romantic partner position. Is authoritative instead of cooperative, isn't humble, only wants to teach because you're "the innocent and ignorant Madonna that knows nothing of this world". Tries to be above you instead of respecting you.
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Doesn't accepts that you're a Woman, with Woman forms and shapes, doesn't wants you to wear revealing outfits or heavily woman-typed clothing. (ex: dress with a lil bit of cleavage would be wholly unacceptable to a M/W man) In his eyes, you're a Pure Madonna That Mustn't Be Exposed To The Nasty Men Out There, A Madonna That Knows Nothing Of This World. He also criticizes other women's clothing choices instead of minding his business.🚩🚩🚩
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He avoids having nasty sex with you. You're PuRe. He is shocked that you express wanting to do something else than the basic positions. How dare you be Horny! 🤪🤪
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DOUBLE STANDARDS!!! He talks about how he's sooooo hot, and how much sex he had, but if you do the same... HoW dArE YoU SaY ThAttt. He talks about his exes, ok, but blows up at you if you do the same. 🚩🚩🚩
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Has insecurities about your fidelity, he's worried you'll turn out to be a Whore. Asks questions about your fidelity, asks excessive questions about your schedule, about what you've done, with who, where, why. He ain't the FBI, you don't owe him all the answers. In his mindset, if you're a whore, you're using him and you're cheating on him like crazy.
Ultimately, it's extremely important to assert yourself and not fold in to demands, asks that are unreasonable. Your boyfriend asks you to change your dress because it reveals too much cleavage? Don't change, ignore. He has to deal with his own insecurities, not you. If he is insistent or comes back again with the same useless questions, that's a red flag 🚩
I can't list ALL the symptoms I can think of, because there's literal tons, but you might noticed this general trend to classify women in a absolute way, and the treatment those two extremes have is extremely different too, and those.men.jsutify it out of complete bullshit reasons. Those men are misogynistic, point blank.
Did you deal with a M/W complex man? What were your experiences? Please share with others so we can know more about those men and better avoid them.
SayNad's comment:
A man with a M/W complex is a sign that he is mentally underdeveloped -- he can't comprehend that you can have both respect and lust towards a woman you love. They are mentally still at that teenagerhood stage where woman is either a being to be respected (like his mom) or a being to be lusted after (like p*rnstars). They don't have the mental capacity to harmonize the two concepts. You cannot have a healthy relationship with that kind of manchild.
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Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.