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WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
Guys avoid the “date” word to avoid accountability for their intentions. Pay attention to these clues.
“Chill, Hang out, Come through, Swing by, Meet up, Grab a coffee, Have a quick bite, or suggesting a casual walk/hike”
See the pattern of how all of these activities are ones you’d say to a friend?
Men use this language when they see you as a potential FWB, and to keep things easy going/no pressure. This way they can rationalize that you guys were just having fun, and it was nothing too serious.
However, when a man plans an “official date” he is expressing romantic interest by taking action. Formal dates are a demonstration of romantic intentions, and that they’re dating with purpose.
Note: Beware of “Are you asking ME on a date?”
This is mainly a passive or manipulative approach to get you to pursue him. Even if he jokingly says it, and you still end up in a long term relationship, these are the men that act like they’re doing you a favor. (Ex. The guys who confess after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids that they were never really attracted to you in the first place).
Think back to all of the times you took the initiative with a man by either pursuing him (or making it easier for him to pursue you). Now compare that to experiences when a man made a genuine effort to court you. Men will always take what they can get, but only respect what they earn.
That’s why we have the “date” standard, and anything less is a waste of time.
The handbook posts project.
Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.