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WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
Reproductive Strategy
I’m here by lightly popular demand, lol.
My name is tallwomen (actually sounds very close to my real name) and I’ve worked in family violence and various family law for the past several years as an attorney and advocate for women and children. As a result, I’ve seen a lot of things and have many many opinions on men in marriage and familial relationships. I’d like to share a few reproductive truths that may be repetitive, depending on if you have seen my posts here or not.
1) Men use children as a tool to control women. Period.
Men view women who have children as being devalued by the world. And that’s because that is how society treats women with children. Men know that they can treat you any kind of way because most women will feel like failures if they leave after getting pregnant/having children with a man and the world at large will quickly ratify his behavior.
2) Men don’t care about their children.
Most don’t want to actively abuse them but they plain don’t care. They ask for kids to anchor themselves to you and to anchor you down. The only time the do care is during a divorce. And that’s as a tool to hurt and/or control you. See point 1 again.
3) Don’t tell men about your reproductive choices and don’t let them have a say in yours.
I don’t care if you have an IUD and a doctor told you that you were barren at four and a half years old. Tell that dude that you’re au naturel and he needs to wear a condom every. single. time. This is for a couple reasons. One, to establish a boundary that the majority of scrotes will try to break which will help you vet and delete IMMEDIATELY. And two, because men would fuck a lukewarm McChicken; you don’t know where that dirty thing has been and you don’t want to catch something a lil penicillin can’t fix.
4) Don’t ever bring up to men that you want kids and/or how many kids you want. See point 1.
5) If you get pregnant, don’t tell anyone until you are 100% sure that you’re keeping the baby and you only depend on yourself.
Don’t tell your mama or your daddy or that one aunt that’s basically like a sister. It’s a safety issue. And even if nobody else out there in the real world says it, I want you to know that I love each and every woman out there and I want y’all to be safe first and foremost.
6) Use a form of birth control IN ADDITION to condoms that he has no clue about. See all of my above points.
7) KEEP PLAN B UNDER YOUR MATTRESS.
It keeps for ~4 years in ideal conditions. If feasible, force him to give you cash to buy it, as in don’t let him know you have a stash, and replace as necessary. Nuff said.
Feel free to add any points that you think I’ve left out!
The handbook posts project.
Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.
Ahhh.... this takes me back to the time I got shamed out of a financial advice sub for being "classist", "gold digger", "a conservative" and a "man hater" because my first reply to every young woman asking for financial advice there was "Do not get pregnant without a ring on your finger provided by a man who is financially comfortable and generous", quickly followed by "Do not bind yourself (by marriage, pregnancy, co-signed contracts, cohabitation etc. etc.) to a man who is less financially secure than you in any (ANY!) way.".
Being a LV man's baby mama is the number one poverty risk for women. Doesn't matter if he is a deadbeat or pays alimony. Having a baby is a huge, huge financial risk for every woman (obviously in addition to all the other risks) because we are the ones who sacrifice earning potential (for the rest of our lifes) and often years of our careers to raise the kids and take on all the handicaps (like only being able to work part time). And that loss in earning potential will make you financially reliant on the child's father for a long, long time.
Children are the biggest women's shackles to a man. Thank fucking goddess I don't have that maternal instinct or the desire to procreate.
I think I can never even consider children until I am confident I can provide for them. If I cannot have them without the least amount of stress on my mind/body/spirit then I’m ok with not having them. I had to have this conversation with my fiancé. And he agrees with whatever I want is fine with him.
This is so very important (especially now given the current climate) my most recent ex attempted the baby trap mind fuck on me. Never again
Hm, I think I'd rather opt for sterilization rather than those birth controls. Pills run the risk of stroke (runs in the family), and those Mirena things caused a loved one to lose hair. Frankly, no man is worth those risks. Besides artificial insemination is a thing, and l
if a man has complaints. Somethings up with him.
thank you ✨🙏🏽✨