Handbook Posts: Put Your Sexual Health First

WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.

Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.

One month after IUD insertion, I'm still having horrible pain. Fuck the lack of male birth control purely for their convenience. You should NEVER have to be the only one who suffers and sacrifices. Fuck that.

I'm newer to FDS and it has opened my eyes to so many double standards in society, and how crappy a lot of pornsick men are. It's sad that it's everywhere -- in movies, in art, in 'normal' relationships, and then these beliefs are instilled into children from a young age.

When I think of 'birth control,' I instantly think of the pill, and condoms second. That's already social conditioning: the first thing that comes to mind is the burden being on a woman. As a lover of relationship subreddits, I've seen so much crap concerning this.

So many low value men think 'the pill' is this magical thing that just removes any chance of pregnancy and that's that! Because they don't have to deal with any of the consequences of it, they barely have to think about how it affects women, and in general, it isn't their burden. It's convenient for them, and no matter how much it detrimentally affects women, it's convenient for them so therefore it's okay.

Heaven FORBID a woman doesn't take birth control or goes off of it, though. All of a sudden, low value men magically care, because *gasp* it then affects them! It's such a selfish viewpoint and shows how they only care about themselves and their pleasure.

Fear of being 'trapped' by a pregnancy? Such a lie. It's socially acceptable for men to leave and just pay child support, and some don't even pay the full amount, or any money at all, because they know a single mother can't often afford to take them to court. That happens more often than men will EVER admit online.

Low value men just don't want to wear a condom or have a vasectomy -- oh no! An easy, straightforward procedure with barely any recovery time. But it isn't *convenient* for them and the 0.1% chance they lose the slightest bit of pleasure in sex is just too much to bear -- ignoring the fact that many women suffer low libido, lack of pleasure, horrible hormonal imbalances, possible acne and weight gain and ovarian cysts and more from birth control.

Low value men will find every excuse in the book to not wear a condom, too. They'll lie, they'll whine, they'll say they're clean, and they'll ignore the risks women constantly endure when it comes to birth control. And what's funny is that a condom is the most convenient form of birth control, and somehow that's still not convenient enough for low value men.

Birth control is NEVER a woman's burden to carry alone. I'm sick of reading even on other women-based subreddits about women going ahead to get an IUD or a serious procedure like tubal ligation. On one hand, yes it's nice to have reproductive freedom. At what point should the burden be shared with men, though?

I foolishly bought into the lie that an IUD is a painless procedure, the best option because it's a short procedure and lasts five years, and that it's freedom for myself and feminist and blah blah. No. It is not. I could barely stand after the procedure, I was so light-headed. I could not drive home or focus. The cramps, the worst pain of my life just under the pain of appendicitis, lasted for days.

A month later, I can still barely stand or walk longer than an hour before the pain gets too bad. I can't work my college job which is in 4-hour shifts, the job which I desperately need to pay for textbooks. Painkillers don't help. I don't even want to talk about trying to walk around to classes.

The worst part is, in a follow-up appointment doctors told me the pain is 'normal' and will go away in maybe around FOUR or FIVE MONTHS.

When was this suddenly considered okay????? I'm going to spend almost half a YEAR recovering, possibly almost half a year without income from a college job I desperately rely on, and can't run when I want to start training for a half marathon again.

A condom is not that hard to put on. A vasectomy is not a huge sacrifice to make. But if a Pickmeisha is the only one handling birth control, making sacrifices for some relationship to work by making a guy happy and ignorant -- that's not a relationship. Fuck that and fuck social expectations. FDS forever.

Edit: After calling a nurse advice line, I am going to urgent care after my lab class tomorrow. I am most definitely getting this IUD removed at the soonest time I can. It's just stupid that this situation even exists at all, that my health is being so affected by birth control, all so men can relax and not have any responsibility. Never again.

None of my doctors warned me an IUD could be this painful. None of my doctors warned me about any of the horror stories in the comments. It's incredibly frustrating to be told by doctors that significant pain is 'normal'.

Women in pain and suffering while men get all the benefits is NOT okay. If I ever have a partner who ignores how horrible this experience is right now and suggests I get back on birth control, I will politely tell him to go fuck himself, as that's the best birth control.

Guaranteed, if a man had significant pain in his genital region, he'd be having scans done ASAP or at least some prescription painkillers. I bet very few doctors would tell him that pain is normal and then send him on his way. It sucks that I have to advocate so much for myself to be heard. I love this subreddit and I'm so glad I'm not alone in this.

The handbook posts project.

Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.