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WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
We have 3 basic resources: money, time, and energy. A man who's courting you or in a relationship with you should be investing a significant amount of ALL 3 of these resources in you.
Examples of investing resources:
Money:
He pays for dates without expecting anything in return but your company. He orders you an uber/lyft home after a date. He spends an appropriate amount of money on gifts (doesn't cheap out but doesn't spend irresponsibly for his income).
Time:
He wants to see you often. He makes spending time with you one of his top priorities. If you're in a relationship, you see each other at least 2-3 times a week. If you're in a relationship during social distancing, he calls you often.
Energy (aka effort):
He plans fun, interesting dates that he knows you would enjoy (because he pays attention to what you like). His gifts are thoughtful and also show he pays attention to what you like. If you've had a bad day, he'll be there for you in whatever way you need. He puts effort into pleasing you in bed instead of focusing on his pleasure. He shows an appropriate, genuine interest in getting to know your friends and family.
Many behaviors will, of course, consist of a mix of resources, for example, picking you up for a date and dropping you off at home after (once you've vetted him for your safety) = time and energy. Taking you on a lovely trip to a place you've wanted to go = time, money, and energy.
If he's not consistently investing all of these 3 resources, it's a sign that he's not fully committed to you. If you feel like he is stingy with his money, time, or energy with you, listen to your intuition. He is not the man for you.
When he shows you who he is, how much he thinks about you, and how he truly feels about you -- pay attention.
The handbook posts project.
Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.