.png)
WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
The sTRonG & iNdEPeNdenT career-woman pick-me
Let us discuss the "sTRonG iNdEPeNdenT" career woman pick-me and why she never wins. On the surface, the characteristics of strong and independent seem endearing and something most should aspire to. These types of women in society are seen as driven, ambitious, confident, and most of all "she don't need no man".
Because she has been seen to have it together, men will attempt to flatter her by complimenting her drive and ambition and her quest to provide.
Since this type of pick-me is proud of her coins, she won't mind paying 50/50 on the first date, and may sometimes offer to pay the whole bill in order to "flex" that she 'got her own' in front of the man she's out with.
In her head, she has check-mated -- the ultimate big clit move. To him, well, he's looking at her like Collette the Clown. The fact is, men have been taught to view women as less than by society.
So when a woman pulls out her wallet to pay for a date, to him, it shows that even the most successful of women will still happily be his doormat and mommy -- most likely implicitly taught by his mother that he never detached from or other coddling female family members that have paid his way through life.
Later in the relationship, this type of pick-me will continue to foot the bill for almost all things inside the relationship while her trash-bin boyfriend collects her dues.
Since she has achieved a great amount of success, this type of pick-me may have the air that she is able to be fix this man by "dropping game" and "motivating him" to get on her level. All while he sucks the life out of her.
But this pick-me is stubborn, more stubborn than the rest of the pick-me genus because of her will to "make things work", as her relationship may be the only aspect of her life that is failing for her and she is dedicated to having the "perfect picture life" even if it means dragging herself through the mud behind closed doors.
Since her boyfriend refuses to propose, this type of woman may perform the ultimate degradation of proposing to her man. He will meekly say yes, but with full intention of only remaining in the "engagement" phase until he can find another woman.
Men do not see this type of woman as a wife. They see her as a stepping stool to his dream-girl.
Most men will remain in a relationship with this type of pick-me purely based off the fact that she has created a comfortable lifestyle for him while he pisses away his time by playing video games or some other shite hobby.
He will happily accept her hand-out while he swipes away on his tinder profile while she's at work. After sometime, this pick-me will begin to feel resentment for her man-baby, everyday growing more depressed due to his lack of effort and apathy towards her cries.
But again, due to her archetype, she will refuse to leave — this time by playing into the oh-so dreaded sunken cost fallacy whereby she believes her investment into him is too large to leave and she’s better off staying and “trying to make it work”.
Thus, she traps herself in in a masculine provider role while shedding all the attributes that make her a thrive as a woman in favour of providing for a grown man.
Ladies, YES its great to have your career, education money in check.
BUT never, under ANY circumstance allow a man that you are dating to know how much you pull, and NEVER allude to being a sTRonG iNdEPeNdenT woman because on the surface it sounds good, but it is simply a calling card for the losers to flock.
ALWAYS remain in your feminine energy by allowing a man to fully court and invest in YOU. A mans role is to PROVIDE and yours is to CHOOSE who is most suited for this role.
The handbook posts project.
Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.
Being vague about your career is also a great vetting tool, because what they assume tells you so much about how they see women.
A few examples:
You say "I work for the university". Is his first guess that you are a secretary there and he is surprised that you are a professor/scientist?
You say "I work in the medical sector". Is his first guess that you are a nurse and he is surprised that you are a doctor?
I don't mean to imply that any of these professions are less valuable than others. But if a man's first guess is always to see you in what society (unfortunately) considers a less prestigious job because you are a woman, that says something about how he sees the world.
Im a government lawyer, but I always say I do government admin to men. I noticed before that when I said I was a lawyer, the gold-digging men were out in crazy force!
WOW. Unfortunately, this described me to a T. Everything she said, I have done in a past relationship. Dating mostly younger men, who I would end up supporting. OMG. It makes me sick to think how many years I wasted being a career pick me. Disgusts me. But at least I am waking up now. Better late than never.
But how does one go about staying in their feminine energy? In order to survive, I've had to rely on thr masculine part of myself. I have moment ls of being in my feminine, but then I jumped back into my masculine.
"Collette the Clown", tee-hee-hee!