Handbook Posts: Do Not Internalize the Insecurities F*ckboys Project or See Singledom as a Personal Failure

WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.

Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.

This has been one of my most valuable lessons as a woman & is why I am still standing strong (no dusty baby daddy, no bullshit approach to dating, men's actions don't control my esteem).

It dawned on me after several instances of seeing these clowns masks fall off over the years.......(they all look like the same witless intellectually sterile Himbo clones in the end)..... these 'men' so desperate to clown me for bRo pOinTs were not deserving of the opportunity at all.

I've never cared much for these clowns, because I don't struggle attracting men (so their absence is hardly whimsical) but what deeply amused me about this repetitive archetype of weak try-hard flimsy 'masculinity' was just how much they seemed to get some sadistic kick out of trying to strum me along....as if dick isn't abundant and these mentally feeble clowns aren't easily replaceable??

SIS. Where is the joke? I'm still waiting for my refund. I think it lies within the mucky toothpaste splattered reflections of their narcissistic fragile ego's. 'SURPRISE! I am MORE TRASH THAN YOU THINK!! hAhA ME PROUD!!'.

Like it was some achievement to fool someone genuine that has more options /more going than you and has barely known you a matter of months? Like I'm supposed to be some mystic meg clairvoyant or a fly on the wall at all times...and if not that makes me at fault ?

How can one possibly KNOW someone without GETTING to KNOW their disappointing characters and habits over a period of time first? They could never keep the act up long..... but still a fool is still proud of his tomfoolery, nevertheless.

He's still proud of his little fake Louis Vuitton's in the schoolyard, at least it gives him something to boast about. Of course a man-child must muster his false sense of man-pride from somewhere...some thing....or someone.

It dawned on me after some time in my teens- these men were just an internal idealization that I had cooked up in my head and perhaps been hesitant to abandon due to the severe boredom and lack of HVM in the wild- due to the constant disappointments of failing to meet just...one.... single GROWN man that matched even half of what they had to titty-suck from me.

I am sure you can appreciate, one begins to hallucinate and see water ( a real life HVM!!) in a hot dry desert (the eternal lifeless echo of the dating landscape) where there isn't any after a while.

Intellectually, emotionally starved manchildren are much like the harsh dry inhospitable heat of the sand- one begins to grow weary after tireless years spent squinting and searching and having their ankles bitten by hostile reptiles....and starts to project their own grand DELUSIONS of basic necessities being met onto these simple... insignificant.... common grains of sand that are incapable of fulfilling such a demand. WAKEY WAKEY!

You can't get blood from a stone, trust me. That was just the illusion they created to feed their false ego and attract women they knew were WAY out of their intellectual, physical, spiritual, mental grasp.

When I reflected back on them as a full package and not their fake highlight reel (which *EMPHASIS* was the only real catch-indeed an artificial one), weighing up all their supposed 'offerings' to me as a woman, I trumped them in every field, every time, by far....and they knew full well deep down.

Their natural inferiority, that is. It dawned on me that these 'men' were incredibly weak, cowardly and insecure inside. That they went out of their WAY to avoid being in a vulnerable position ripe for intimacy.

They went out of their way to try and bring these other women they were texting to my attention- they so badly WANTED me to see these text notifications from other women to garner some kind of jealous kneejerk response or attention, like an immature child deliberately throwing its dummy out of the pram, trying to catch dear mommy's attention.

That they went out of their WAY to try and neg me or attempt to make me insecure or pit me against some other females as if I wouldn't notice their blatant attempts to lower my self value to their level and find them utterly pathetic.

They were scared of women's power. Scared of women's judgement. Scared of intimacy. Scared of rejection. Scared of manhood and adult responsibility. Scared of not feeling wanted back. Scared of being vulnerable.

Scared of women wising up to the fact that they weren't real MEN nor were they confident or worthy enough to actually ever allow themselves to seem vulnerable to these women (implying they are truly weak)....and they were desperately trying to hide it by chasing constant validation from any female they could fool in sight.

THAT didn't strike me as a man who held self value, strength, maturity and confidence close to his heart....that struck me as a desperate immature little coward-boy running around trying to get anyone to give his fragile little ego a boost.

Who has the time, seriously? Truly high value people don't fear rejection, they certainly don't have anything to 'prove'.

And from that day forth, shitty men ceased to have any power over me. I finally saw the tiny insecure little manlet plankton that lived deep within the clown. The rose tinted lenses fell off and their delusions of grandeur ceased to impress.

Often us women foolishly tend to feel we're not 'good enough' when a man (usually lucky to get the chance to begin with) starts acting trash or disrespecting us or us showing less interest...even when we've been nothing but kind, honest and accommodating and haven't been demanding or clingy. Even if we're attractive, get a lot of attention, have worked on ourselves, are driven etc.

We did everything by the book & still get played. We start thinking we need to lower our standards to accommodate their failings or this man doesn't see any value in us at all. You start to think you will never find a good guy that sees value in loyalty....

WELL HONEY, HERE'S THE REAL TEA- THIS IS RARELY TRUE FOR A HIGH VALUE WOMAN!

THIS is ONE man out of billions and how he has decided to treat you, for whatever reason, this does not mean EVERY man will treat you like this or that you are not valuable or worthy of love/commitment.

Its just one trial, and its expired. He just belongs to the fuckboy breed- the one you REALLY don't want to be involved with anyway (see redpillwomen for the bullets you sure damn missed).

The fact is women are far more likely to settle than men are, and this has been backed up by studies and divorce rates (women are more likely to initiate divorce).

We are far more likely to date down in looks /education and overlook red flags / undesirable traits than they are...'well I'll give him a chance, he could be a good guy or going through stuff'.

And men are certainly less likely to settle when it comes to attraction, even if they are below average looks wise themselves.

You can be attractive, smart, well dressed, driven, healthy, well read, interesting, well travelled, caring, kind, funny, honest and trash men will STILL treat you like gum on their shoe or just a piece of meat.

They'll still have this 'impress me' air to them even when they don't match up a 1/4 what you have going on. These men you settle for will still lie to you and think they're the shit.

Ofc sometimes this is a sign we need to check our self esteem/possible codependency issues (particularly if you're pursuing these men for 8months longggg after you saw the red flags)...but this isn't always the case.

Sometimes you're just a high value woman running into one of the many many average or below men who think of themselves as god gifts to women.

This can often be because of several reasons besides you:

🤡 THEY are insecure and don't feel like they have enough to stop you from straying (they can tell you have enough options & are going further in life than them which makes them feel inferior);

🤡 THEY are immature and have not spiritually developed yet (girls are for fucking, nothing more, name irrelevant);

🤡 THEY are running away from personal issues by fucking several women to boost their esteem (I'm the man I pull chicks! Sob, why I can't I earn more!);

🤡 THEY haven't got their shit together and feel its not a good time to get into a relationship (mental health issues/addictions/financial instability);

🤡 THEY don't think they're good enough (salty cos they got dumped by their ex or cheated on) or

🤡 THEY have not worked on their resilience/communication and struggle to open up emotionally (which is essential to a healthy longterm relationship).

All of the shit above is out of your control, do not internalize it.

More women seem to settle below the belt than men but this is changing slowly (WOOH!! We are holding off marriage/babies more & refusing to settle) and its in these dastardly depraved men's interests to knock your esteem down, so they feel comfortable and don't need to step up.

So you don't feel like a threat, so they don't have to address the parts of themselves they feel anxious about, so they can keep you from moving on and discovering your equal (they don't wanna chance they might not get better). So the threshold isn't raised off the fucking ground for women, mothers and children.

They have a variety of ways they prevent this:

• Going hot/cold deliberately in order to make you yearn them,

• Hiding themselves, lying about where they live/their career/goals, putting you down,

• Testing your patience to see if you'll get emotional and validate them (they're insecure),

• Acting with an overinflated ego,

• Trying to control you,

• Putting you off travelling ,

• Belittling/rolling their eyes at you knowing more than them,

• Making you paranoid they receive more interest than they do (fyi: men are ALWAYS receiving less interest than women unless they're top tier).

I will not let their lying sleezy insecure low vibrational shit get to me, I am a warrior and have overcome some very testing situations making me spiritually strong & grown, I have an appetite for the high life and I stay hungry.

I stay ignoring fuckboys petty comments when they feel insignificant around me.

I am well travelled, know myself deeply, know what I want deeply and I know there is more to life than where I started at or what fuckboys/beta males want to chain me to (a mediocre life full of burden & resentment).

I am in no danger of 'hitting the wall' since the women in my family are attractive, educated, and stay youthful for their age.

I let insignificant men know full well I am aware of that & the options it opens up to me.

The wall is something most low value people fear most, the lazy ones who fell off their careers & didn't take care of themselves & have low esteem/standards...hence why they rush to wed the ex drug addict beta loser before 30, and spend their whole lives miserable.

Meanwhile I'm flying round the city, getting my drinks bought, turning heads & sifting out the trash ruthlessly.

The pick me's tell me I'm too picky, but they seem incredibly mad that as a woman I like myself and have the esteem to be patient.

I've seen the real life outcome of high value women refusing to settle, and its better than you could dream of.

There is a girl I know, who married a rich well dressed business man who's attractive, started a huge business with her, treats her like a queen and they're constantly going on nice holidays living the high life. They are perfectly happy and constantly in each others' photo's.

Imagine how different her life would have been if she'd have let one fuckboy knock her esteem enough into settling for some cheating beta loser?

THIS GAME IS NO JOKE. Its one of the most important choices of your life as a woman, and you should never take it lightly.

You need to laugh at dudes, where you overlooked undesirable factors, only for them to get too comfy and still treat you like shit.

For example, he's lost his job, but you tried to be understanding & not judge.......and he's STILL got an ego/messing around (a classic example, he's insecure he's become low market, so he's tryna make up for it via fuckboy shit).

They are delusional- but that's what ego does to people. Release them back into the wild where they belong.

Besides as a woman, you always know you're going to attract men over with little effort (all potential interests)...and you knew you were settling by overlooking *insert red flags* anyway, you know you can get/deserve better so there is no loss, only that stupid love bonding hormone called Oxytocin that is making you miss cuddling him.

The world is BIG. Men like that only have a number of limited chances b4 they end up coming to a halt and realising they aren't all that.

YEAH they might be able to bullshit different women for a few months at a time, but can they keep a high value woman's interest? Nope.

Once they start ageing and want something long term- they hit a wall & will settle for what's available to them.

She'll probably divorce him at some point (EVEN the handmaidens have breaking points)..& he'll end up on reddit whining about it acting clueless.

SO ALL I'LL SAY IS

If you're dating a dude that only has one or two in demand factors such as he is attractive/tall....but he's bummy, not smart, egotistical, not particularly interesting and is on a petty wage but you kinda maybe think he's a nice person (or has potential) because he's sometimes sweet but then he went cold and is getting disrespectful..... you are settling and HE knows it. He needs to knock you down to his comfort zone.

When you are questioning this mans intentions too much, time to move on.

DON'T INTERNALISE their projections! And DON'T SETTLE. Know what you have to offer, keep on improving yourself and stop letting low market men think you are not good enough!

There is a guy out there waiting to find someone like you, or is on his way to becoming the high value man you will find in a year or 5 from now! Stop rushing and stressing!

These men exist, they are rare, but you sure damn won't find them caught up on assholes, trying to 'find potential' in fuckboys/beta males and convincing yourself that disrespectful men are worth self sacrificing for. I speak from experience.

This is the no 1 trick of low brow men.....and it has fooled so many women I've seen who are high value and have settled in 2 or 3 or 4 (!!) departments only to be treated like shit and are staying for the children. Don't be fooled!!!

Singledom is not a personal failure, when you're the one knocking these idiots back and refusing to settle... cos the options will stay open to you.

Singledom is only a failure, when you're a handmaiden refusing to learn your lessons and chasing men who spell it out to you they don't want to pursue you..when you're codependent and can't see value in your own solitude.

Being picky is smart, that's how you avoid dusty baby daddies and divorce.

That's how you avoid domestic violence &abuse or getting side tracked from you career for a cheat that drained you.

That's how you become the type of resilient woman that dusts off her shoulder, keeps her eyes on the prize and gets what she deserves.

You're going to have to get tough, decisive and have firm boundaries...and you're going to have to put your head above your heart often. Most of these men fooling you around know deep down they are not up to scratch.

Stop letting them sap your esteem when they were never worthy to begin with.

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